Seeing enough

Don't assess "enough." Pay attention to your child and don't try to press him to do something he doesn't want to do, and don't try to make him stop doing something while he's still having fun.

See learning as your priority, and you will begin to see it more and more.

Seeing it
photo by Sandra Dodd

Four steps to unschooling

Some people think they can read their way to unschooling, or that if they can win enough arguments about how learning works, that then they will be unschoolers. That's not how it happens.

If you do these four things, in this order, enough times, you might discover you are fully and confidently unschooling:

Read a little. Try a little. Wait a while. Watch.

SandraDodd.com/unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd

A better path

Children do not need to be made to learn to be better, told what to do or shown how. If they are given access to enough of the world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to themselves and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world then anyone else could make for them."

—John Holt,
from How Children Fail

SandraDodd.com/johnholt
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Practicing on Small Things

Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too much and aren't controlling the kids well enough. Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too little and control too much. I don't mind my kids learning things schools fear to teach, or having choices in their lives. Practicing on small things gave them knowledge and experience when they were old enough to practice on larger things. Some families homeschool to limit their children's access and freedom. For us, it's the opposite.

from an April 2010 interview
photo by Sandra Dodd, of petroglyphs west of Albuquerque

Less control, more learning

Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too much and aren't controlling the kids well enough. Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too little and control too much. I don't mind my kids learning things schools fear to teach, or having choices in their lives. Practicing on small things gave them knowledge and experience when they were old enough to practice on larger things. Some families homeschool to limit their children's access and freedom. For us, it's the opposite.

from the MomLogic interview
photo by Cathy Koetsier

More, please

Any time a mom thinks there's nothing to know, I don't think she knows nearly enough.

When a mom thinks unschooling is doing nothing, she's not doing nearly enough.

If a mom thinks unschooling will take none of her time, she needs to spend a LOT of her time (more than those who knew it would be a life change) figuring out how to spend time to be with her child and what she can do, even when her child's not there, to help unschooling work better.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd
___

Enough trivia

Enough trivia will create a detailed model of the universe.


Joy said "That is a poem," about the text above, when it appeared here. I decided to create a new page for this poem to link to.
SandraDodd.com/trivia
photo by Sandra Dodd

Do what it takes

"Rather than worry that I'm not doing enough for my family, I'm doing what it takes for me not to wonder about that. Working to improve children's lives seems to ripple across generations."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/stories/sylvia
photo by Sandra Dodd
—

Life at home is blooming

A mom named Heather wrote:

Sandra Dodd & Joyce Kurtak Fetteroll, I came to unschooling to provide a better way to learn for my kids. Then I came to radical unschooling because I discovered it was about more than school. Now I'm discovering my hang-ups about food / nutrition / healthy food obsessions / weekend "junk" binges and controlling the groceries in our home and now radically unschooling (and your wisdom!) is helping me to unravel these problems and live wholly in the area of food too! Radical unschooling has SO MUCH been about me discovering issues I didn't even know I had, and life at home is blooming. I can't thank you enough for sharing your knowledge!

—Heather...

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sarah S, who took the photo in September 2023, of candy that's available for her kids anytime, and invites us to note there is still Easter candy in there

Do more

If you think you haven't done enough for your children lately, do more.

Maintain and replenish
photo by Janine

Reading minds; thinking thoughts

Sometimes I think I know what someone is thinking, or what my cat wants. Sometimes I'm right.

When someone, or my cat, thinks about something I don't know anything about, the eyes, face or posture can't give me any clues, and my guesses are all wrong.

People can think thoughts, but they can't really read minds very well.

Quiet enough to hear
photo by Gail Higgins

Becoming unschooling parents

In order for parents to unschool, they need to become unschooling parents.

Saying "we're unschoolers now" isn't enough.

There are changes that need to take place.

the quote is from Who can Unschool?
but this will help: Becoming Solid
photo by Ester Siroky

The Full Plate Club

The food section of my website is called "The Full Plate Club." Its intro says:

"The empty plate club," referring to kids who successfully clean their plates, sounds so sad.

"Full plate" sounds much more nurturing.

On questions of whether a cup is half full or half empty, consider a plate. If a child has a feeling of abundance he will stop eating when he's had enough and be healthier and happier than if anyone presses him to take one more bite.


SandraDodd.com/food
photo by Sandra Dodd

Hold on principle

Instead of having a rule that kids had to hold my hand in a parking lot, I would park near a cart and put some kids in right away, or tell them to hold on to the cart (a.k.a. "help me push", so a kid can be between me and the cart). And they didn't have to hold a hand. There weren't enough hands. I'd say "Hold on to something," and it might be my jacket, or the strap of the snugli, or the backpack, or something.

Toddlers
photo by Gail Higgins

Excitement and joy

Once someone was asking how many hours she should spend with her child, or something, and I said at least as many hours as she would've been in school, counting transportation, and there was shock and surprise. The best answer might be that it should be twice as much time as she would've spent in school. Because honestly, a child shouldn't lose the mom-time she would've had at night and on weekends, should she?

The shock probably came from thinking that those hours would be teacher-style hours, of being stuck in one place doing something not too fun. That vision can only come from someone who hasn't looked into unschooling enough to know that the best unschooling hours are fun, natural, real activities. The shock can turn to excitement and joy, as a parent learns more about learning.

Unschooling, Time and Energy
photo by Cass Kotrba

Gratitude

It's good to be grateful for all the things we have.

Sometimes it can help to be grateful to have less, fewer, not as much, as might cause us difficulty. Be grateful for having just enough.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Chrissy Florence
__

Hold on to something

Instead of requiring that my kids had to hold my hand in a parking lot, I would park near a cart and put some kids in right away, or tell them to hold on to the cart (a.k.a. "help me push", so a kid can be between me and the cart). And they didn't have to hold a hand. There weren't enough hands. I'd say "Hold on to something," and it might be my jacket, or the strap of the sling, or the backpack, or something.

I've seen other people's children run away from them in parking lots, and the parents yell and threaten. At that moment, going back to the mom seems the most dangerous option.

Make yourself your child's safest place in the world, and many of your old concerns will just disappear.

The Big Book of Unschooling, page 67 (71 of newer edition)
photo by Sandra Dodd
__ __

Tweak toward affection

Did you do something to make a child's life better and richer? Be grateful that you thought to do that, or know how to do that. Did your child look at you with affection? Can you tweak your life enough that those affectionate looks come even more often?

The Big Book of Unschooling, page 275 (or 318)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Conversations—have good ones!

Conversations with a parent are natural learning fodder. Natural learning doesn’t happen in a vacuum or in isolation. Those things aren’t so natural. 😊

In my experience, unschooling parents are more likely to say too much than not enough.

Written in a discussion, as a follow-up to a post called "Moonrise"
photo by Kirby Dodd
___

Winding down and transitioning

By Meredith, at the end of a longer list of ideas for indoor play for children:

Party games like blind-mans-bluff and pin-the-tail can be played easily at home with one or two kids. Get a book of party games, or look some up on the web.

Wind down by transitioning to something else, rather than just "that's enough". A snack makes a good transition, or switch to video games or a movie.

—Meredith Novak

---

Also, there are newer ideas there, about video games that require indoor physicality. It might be a good page to revisit.

SandraDodd.com/physicality
photo by Kathryn Robles