"Instead of trying to figure out what a child is getting out of anything, take it on faith
—Pam Sorooshian about Disney Princesses and any other interest |
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 | When you say something to your child, remember to feel it and believe it, or you'll be sending mixed messages, and the tone might be louder than the words. And with babies and toddlers, the tone might be the entirety of the communication. |
Some people see experienced unschoolers ("experienced" meaning in this context people who have done it well and effortlessly for years, who aren't afraid anymore,
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But if beginners don't go through a phase in which they REALLY focus on seeing learning outside of academic formalities, they will not be able to see around academics. If you turn away from the academics and truly, really, calmly and fully believe that there is a world that doesn't revolve around or even require or even benefit from academic traditions, *then* after a while you can see academics (research into education, or classes, or college) from another perspective.
SandraDodd.com/connections/example
photo by Sandra Dodd, of the Rio Chama near Abiquiu
| "Shine a light ahead for them, and lend them a hand, but don't drag or push them." —Pam Sorooshian |  |
| As with so many other things (every other thing, maybe) in our lives, it wasn't that single slice that "worked," it was the whole set of everything. They trusted me because I had spent years being trustworthy. |  |
SandraDodd.com/deschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
Yvoire, on Lake Geneva
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As they got older, and war games, movies about history, and international celebrities came over their intellectual horizon, so did trivia about the borders of countries.
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| "Make a mental note of those times when you know in your soul that this is really working well. That act helps you gain understanding, confidence, and ultimately build trust in the process of unschooling, and in your children. The deepest trust happens when you see it in action for yourself, when your understanding meshes with your experiences—that's when you 'feel it in your bones'." |  |
When I'm reading a book, I decide by the moment whether to keep reading or to stop.
Even writing this post, I could easily click out of it and not finish, or I could finish it and decide not to post it. Choices, choices, choices.
| My children are mindful, thoughtful, aware and conscious of the choices they make. Life is full of decisions. |  |
How might a parent act on a really busy day?
If the mom learns and then demonstrates that giving can make a person feel happy, *then* she might have children who are also generous and kind. If the mom acts pouty and whiney and martyrly, she will have children who are confused and needy and resentful.
 | When people are very cynical, they seem to imagine that if all the things they think are stupid are eliminated, what's left will be non-stupid. Smartness. Cleverness. Art. Good music. But once so many things are eliminated, what's left is a cynical person who has rejected half the world, and has the memories of all the details of that negativity. |
| Clarifying thought, it turns, out, is what unschooling is all about, for the parents. When the parents are clear, then learning can flow around them. |  |
 | Be as nice to your child as you can be, as often as you can be. |
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If a parent has found something that works for their family without understanding why it worked and how much personality played in it, then for others it's little better than rolling dice and picking some technique at random.
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Critical examination is better for reaching clear goals than pretty sentiments of "following the heart" and "mom knows best."
A collection of bad ideas: "Support"
A collection of good ideas: my Joyce page
 | "A child can only be six for one year. And sometimes there is a small window of time where a child finds a thing intriguing and wonderful and if it's missed it can never be experienced again in quite the same stirring and magical way." —Deb Lewis |
The quote was found and shared on facebook by Allison Hollis Batey. I fixed up its home page after she quoted it. Thanks, Allison!
Because of school, many people think of geography as maps and nothing more. There is a story in every line on every map. There's a story in the name of each nation and region, and in the difference between what they call themselves and what the neighbors call them. When a map is in a certain language, it affects the names of everything. The English word for "Germany" is not what will appear on a map in German, nor in French, nor in Icelandic. Looking at those names is a study in the history of Germany. People who speak any language in Europe have a relationship and history with what English speakers call "Germany" (which we have from the Roman "Germania").
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The second one is from SandraDodd.com/geography. photo by Sandra Dodd, of a children's maze in Windsor U.K., and tennis courts, road markings, and hedges, taken from an observation wheel. Click it to enlarge. If you click that enlargement, you might see men playing bowls to the left. |
Sometimes teens need a LOT of reassurance. So just keep showing him your confidence in him at the same time that you understand and sympathize with his fears. It is sometimes harder on our unschooled kids at this age than their schooled counterparts because our kids are entering adulthood eyes wide open—they "get it" that they are moving into adult responsibilities, etc., and they are (justifiably) sometimes freaked out by it all. The schooled kids more often don't really grasp what's coming—they're just following orders, going through the expected motions. Our unschooled kids are thinking—and their thoughts can be overwhelming and scary and they can easily feel inadequate to face the future.
SandraDodd.com/teen/angst
photo by Sandra Dodd
of directional signals
on a retired London bus
Part of the integrity of some of the young adult and teen unschoolers I know comes from their having grown up relatively undamaged. They have a wholeness most young people are never allowed to have, or which is destroyed by the realities of school's grading system and its too-glorified "socialization."
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Until a person stops doing the things that keep unschooling from working,
unschooling can't begin to work.
| People can believe that there is centeredness, balance, and right-living without any belief in God. |  |
“Being” with her means being mindful...
“Being” with her means being available to play...
“Being” with her means being emotionally available...
“Being” with her means being connected. In body, spirit and mind. Connection translates to being curious about something that she might have found. Connection translates to trying to find more things that might tie into something that she might have liked before. Connection could translate to being excited about a bug or a thread or a cartoon. It means creating a life that is full of rich experiences, some of which might be jumping in puddles, or holding a snake. Others might involve just going grocery shopping or scrubbing the kitchen floor. The idea of connection at the core, I think, is to feel alive, rejoice in her feeling alive and live those moments together.
