When Holly wanted plums

Pam Sorooshian wrote this when our children were young:

I went to New Mexico and Sandra picked me up at the airport. We then went to three grocery stores, one right after another, because Holly (who was maybe 4 or 5 at the time) was really wanting some plums and the first couple of stores we went to didn't have any. She wasn't being terribly demanding or whiny or anything—just saying, "Mommy I REALLY would love to have a plum."

So we drove around—which was great because I got to see a bit of Albuquerque—and we got her some plums and she munched happily in the back seat while we talked. I was very impressed with Sandra's willingness to do this—most people would have thought it was MORE than enough to stop at even one grocery store because a child had a sudden urge to eat a plum. Most people would have just brushed off the child's urge (do we brush off our OWN urges like that?)

I thought then, and it has been confirmed for me on many occasions since, that when kids know that their parents are willing to go out of their own way to help them get what they want, that the kids end up usually more understanding and able to more easily accept it when parents don't give them what they want.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/yes
photo by Sandra Dodd

Trash or treasure

You can use antique shops or junk stores, charity shops, thrift stores, as museums to visit with your children. Many things are neither trash nor treasure, but can be interesting examples of art, technology, geography, politics, function and design.

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In deciding which link to use with this image, I settled on the history page, and noticed a paragraph I wrote over a decade (now two) ago. Now, two deaths and a Nobel prize have entered the story:

History can be nearly current, like comparative pop/funk of the '80s— is Prince really all that much greater than Michael Jackson? Is it because he plays guitar? What about the history of the guitar? Does Minneapolis create better musicians than Gary, Indiana, or does it even matter? Is Bob Dylan evidence for Minneapolis? One thing leads to another. Thinking about Minneapolis can lead to thoughts of U.S. history, of early 19th century border fortifications, the Mississippi River, the French in Canada, and in Louisiana. You can let your mind float downstream (or up). "Hiawatha" would've been set in that area, and Longfellow wrote that and many other things of childhood, and parents, and night time.

SandraDodd.com/history
photo by Sandra Dodd

Saving up peace

Emotions are kind of like banking, in a way. If you deposit peaceful times and kindness and positive thoughts and joy, then you build up a stronger account of hope and all that.

Happy goes in the bank.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Kate Leach, who had taken this photo in Scotland in the morning before she saw yesterday's post

Knowing and sharing happily

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

If they are asking for help, they need help. It's not because they are too lazy. It's because the process doesn't come easily to them yet (nor has it been made something to look forward to) and it's not worth the effort for what they want out of it. By insisting they look things up themselves, you are saying — from their point of view — "Looking things up is for kids"; "Yes, I know the answer but I'm not giving it to you. Go get your own answer"; "Looking things up isn't a fun thing or I would help you do it."

If you asked your husband for something in his area of expertise, what would make you feel better about asking again: "There's the book. You're perfectly capable of looking that up," or him happily explaining the answer to you, perhaps showing you things in books and letting his eagerness infect you?

—Joyce Fetteroll

When Does Independence Arrive?
photo by Cátia Maciel

Your kids know

Joyce wrote:

He can feel you hovering over him waiting for him to do something that will calm your fears.

Sandra adds:

Your children know when you're anxious or nervous. Don't think you're sneaking up on them. It's important to relax, not just to pretend to be relaxed.

JoyfullyRejoycing.com/how-to-unschool
photo by Susan Gaissert

❖

Inside, outside, up and down

"A sense of wonder" slows the world down, and allows for some quiet thought without a destination or special purpose.

Curiosity and questions usually lead to answers, but wonder doesn't need to. It's fine if it does (in the "I wonder why..." way), but there is a separate, still wonderment that can arrive wordlessly and quietly.

Perhaps allow a moment of silence, for wonderful mysteries.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
These are the photos on the "Wonder" page. I took the first one, at Alex Polikowsky's house. Theresa Larson captured that beautiful rainbow and the changes of light, in southern New Mexico.Gail Higgins saw the sky in a puddle in North Carolina.

Seeing through

Most of what happens in the world, I will never see.

Most of what happens in my own back yard, I don't see.

Most of what I see, I don't understand, or fully consider. That's the way the world is. That's the way people are.

You will see some beauty.
You will understand some things.

SandraDodd.com/seeing
photo by Kristy Hinds
So much, in that photo!