More than half

I've given this advice to newlyweds, and to my oldest child the first time he had a roommate:

Don't aim for 50/50.

If 50% is right, then 49% is wrong, and 65% would be something get angry about.

If you both aim for more than half, you'll meet around the middle, around half the time. If you want the other person to stick around, "around" is the goal.

SandraDodd.com/50/50
photo by Sandra Dodd

Already human

Look directly at your child without filters or labels. Even a newborn baby is the person she will be when she's grown up, and old.

Babies are not future humans. They are whole people. Help them remain whole and to grow up unmarred by sorrow and shame. My husband, Keith, said once, when someone asked him what we hoped to accomplish by unschooling, that we wanted our children to grow up undamaged.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Cátia Maciel

Canada... dude!

I'm happy to know I'm not the sole source of information for my kids.

Last night I came to use my computer and there was a dialog on the desktop, a leftover instant message between my thirteen-year-old son Marty and an older homeschooler. This was the entirety of that dialog:

Marty: You coming down?
Other kid: yeah.
Marty: Did you know Canada has Prime Ministers?
Other kid: yeah
Marty: dude

Now I will never have to explain to Marty that Canada has a prime minister. I don't know why he cared, on a Friday night in New Mexico, but it doesn't matter.

Tales of Late-Night Learning
For the record, "last night" was in late 2002, and the other kid was Brett Henry, also unschooled, who is now a firefighter in the Los Alamos Fire Department. They've both become husbands and fathers, still learning for fun.

photo by Sandra Dodd

P.S. Since writing this, since taking that photo, I went to France and discovered that their stop signs say "Stop." Why, I asked my French host-mom, do they say "Arrêt" in Quebec? She said Quebec wants to be more French than France. One more bit of information that won't be on the test. Trivia.

One little choice at a time

Jen Keefe wrote:

I abandoned the stuff I thought we "had" to do and disrupted our peace, and filled it with stuff that made us happy. This was all one little choice, in the moment, at a time.

The healing and effect this has had on both my husband and me is immeasurable. Being the parent to my kids that I needed when I was younger has wrapped my own self in a comfort I never got to have before.

—Jen Keefe

SandraDodd.com/being/allin
photo by Cátia Maciel

Quirks

Lyle Perry wrote:

Quirks are what makes us individuals. What a boring world it would be without quirks. Everyone would know exactly how everyone else likes things because we would all like them the same. (What a horrible thought.)

The cool thing about unschoolers is that we get the chance to revel in our quirks, rather than hide them in fear of ridicule. And for the quirks that really do bother us, we have the opportunity to learn to deal with them without the pressures of society bearing down on us.

We have the gift of truly being ourselves.

— Lyle Perry

Conversations With Sandra Dodd (archived)
(sixth post down)
photo by Rosie Moon

Peace is all about choices.

If you want to live peacefully, make the most peaceful choices.

Peace is all about choices.

Choose to breathe consciously.
Choose understanding over ignorance.
Choose to make choices.
Choose awareness over oblivion.
And make choices based on the principles you live by.

SandraDodd.com/peace
photo and art by Marcia Simonds

Bonus!

If unschooling makes us hopeful, problem-solving people, what an unexpected bonus!

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Sandra Dodd
Bonus bonus: If you use green onions with roots still on, stick the white bottom parts in little containers in a windowsill, and they might keep growing for a while. Bonus onions! (Those went in just about 2" long, and I waited a week.)