Learn, and be an example

Colleen Prieto wrote:

Realize your unschooling life and someone else’s unschooling life won’t look exactly just the same, and that’s because your kids and their kids, your partner and their partner, your house and their house, your interests and their interests… they’re not the same either. But still read, talk, and think about what you are doing, and listen to what others are doing. Learn from the example of people who have been there/done that, and be an example for those who will come after you on the unschooling path.

—Colleen Prieto

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When I first shared this Colleen quote in 2015, an anonymous commenter wrote:

Love this post.

It reminds me that you can't make all of the changes at once. When I look back I see we have traveled a long way but in little steps.

So I will share "Do It" and "Gradual Change"—pages to help balance the changes.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Cally Brown

Getting unschooling to thrive

There is no one single right way to unschool, but there are many paths that ultimately lead away from success, so I would like to outline a map to becoming a successful unschooling parent.

Unschooling is based on the school-reform movement and the research of the late 1960's and early 1970's. John Holt wrote, in those days, about school reform, but by the end of the 1970's, he was recommending that parents keep their children home.

In the United States, school at home came along in the 1980's, with fundamentalist Christians who thought schools didn't control children well enough, and gave them too much information. But unschooling was already being done by families who felt that schools were too controlling and gave too little information. So there is quite a dichotomy.

John Holt wrote:

To parents I say, above all else, don't let your home become some terrible miniature copy of the school. No lesson plans! No quizzes! No tests!

My definition for unschooling is "creating and maintaining an environment in which natural learning can thrive."


From "Doing Unschooling Right"
(part of a "Doing Life Right" series organized by
Lisa Cottrell-Bentley in 2012)
photo by Dan Vilter

Doing this deeply

Unschooling is not as easy as some people think it is. It can be fun, and simple, and life changing, if it is done deeply and thoroughly.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
Thanks, Marta Pires, for saving that quote.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Wonder, imagination and beauty

Karen James wrote:

Instead of being afraid of this and that in society, open your heart to wonder. Spend meaningful time with your kids doing the things that captivate their imagination. Don't talk too much. Listen more. Really look into their eyes, and see how they see the world. Listen to what they're sharing with you, and hear how they interpret the world. Support what they see, and hear, and come to define as their model of reality. The more you show your support, the more you'll be invited to be a part of their lives, and the more beautiful your mutual experience will be.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/hindsight
photo by Cally Brown
in New Zealand

Your words matter

In response to

I see the cause of the issue but struggling with finding solutions.

Do you WANT to keep struggling? Or do you want to live more gently and peacefully?

SandraDodd.com/battle

Your words matter, to your thinking, to your soul, to your relationship with your child.

Negative approaches to peace

Unschooling shouldn't involve battling, struggling, fighting.

—Sandra Dodd
(more context)

photo by Sandra Dodd
(of the cow above the cow catcher;
Keith's in there by chance)

A world of partnership

In a world of choices, every choice that moves one toward positivity (hope, optimism, joy, sweetness, peace) and away from negativity (cynicism, anger, disdain, dismay, pessimism) is a solid step toward "better" (IF the person wants to be more positive).

In a world of partnership, when one partner is more positive, the partnership is more positive.

In a home with a mother, when the mother is more positive, the family's life is more positive.

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Sandra Dodd
of Kirby, Keith and Marty
35+ years ago

Learning on the job

When someone asked:

anyone else ever fear that they were too boring (or too limited in resources) to unschool?

I responded:

Yes.
It's not for everyone. It's not something people can wind up and let loose. It has to be learned and lived. And it has to be learned on the job, as it goes, so you can't wait until you're great at it to start.

—Sandra Dodd

SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Cátia Maciel


The writing quoted above is older than
"Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch."