Generous generosity

I think the ideas in The 5 Love Languages are powerful to consider when figuring out what generosity might mean.
5lovelanguages.com

And just as with "learning styles," it doesn't mean you should figure out that a child is kinesthetic and so never, ever provide or share anything that isn't exclusively kinesthetic. It doesn't mean that if my primary love language is not receiving gifts that I never want to receive another gift as long as I live!

SandraDodd.com/50/50
photo by Janine Davies

More or less

I often think back to the things I learned in La Leche League, from readings and other moms. If you nurse a child a long time does it make him dependent on the mom? Seems to be the opposite. If you hug a child every time he wants a hug, does it make him want a hug-a-day for life? You WISH!

The more they get, the less they need.

Quote from a very-early online chat for homeschoolers,
late 1995 or early 1996, SandraDodd.com/detox.
Photo of Kate Koetsier and her 10th Birthday cake
by her mom, Cathy, years ago.

Falling asleep peacefully

If a child falls asleep in front of the TV, he is really listening to his body about sleep.

If a mom thinks that's not listening to his body, I think what she wants him to listen to is the voices of her mother and grandmother saying "Why isn't he in bed?" to her. Luckily, my children can't hear the voices in my head.

There's probably some TV prejudice at work too. If a child fell asleep reading a book, I think parents would be charmed instead of critical.

SandraDodd.com/voices
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild

Hidden secret rooms and magic doors

When I move thru your site, I feel like a child in a candy store, or like I'm in a fantastic meandering castle with hidden secret rooms and magic doors to new realities.

I didn't keep the name of the person who wrote that, but I love the images.
SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Julie D

Really being a partner

Someone made a side comment earlier: "I hadn't thought about the difference between 'treating someone as a partner' and really being their partner from one's core. Acting one way from a set of rules vs. working on oneself to be a better parent/partner/supporter."

That's what I meant. I'm sure I would feel nervous if someone I thought of as a friend said she was treating me as a friend. 🙂

But I do know that some people don't love words as much as I do, and aren't as analytical about words. I can watch athletes and think very little about the subtleties of what they're doing. Music, not so much. That I perceive in more detail.

SandraDodd.com/partners/examined
photo by Cecilie Conrad

Defending cartoons

I know my opinions won't match other peoples and that's fine. What I can defend isn't what other people can defend.

When there's someone who can defend NOTHING, though, who is so cynical or shut down that all movies seem lame and all cartoons seem mindless and all music is boring and all museums are irritating, I think there's a problem with that person's attitude and perceptions, rather than their stated opinion being damning evidence against movies, cartoons, music and museums.

SandraDodd.com/t/cartoons
In Defense of Cartoons
Image from a Warner Brothers Cartoon (click here)
Both characters voiced by Mel Blanc—singing and all.

There is no trick

Renee Cabatic, July 2010:

We were at a bar-b-q party and a 5-yr-old friend dug into the cooler, pulled out a Coca-cola and asked his Ma could he have it.

She said, "Heavens no, especially with that chocolate cake on your plate."

She then looked at me, asking, "How do you do it?"

I told her, "I don't restrict what my kids eat," and pointed to their plates. ]XuMei had watermelon, strawberries, green beans and chocolate cake on her plate. Xander had chosen salmon, corn on the cob, watermelon, strawberries and a root beer to drink.

Later I was telling Chris (my spouse) the story and Xander, who I thought was asleep in the back of the van, perked up and said, "The trick is, there is no trick."

—Renee Cabatic

SandraDodd.com/eating/candid
photo by Christine Milne