Any child would flourish...

"I think any child would flourish in a loving, supportive, interesting, fun, resource-rich, nurturing, stimulating environment."

—Amy Childs

Who can unschool?
(from Amy's podcast series on unschooling)
photo by Chrissy Florence
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In thought and awareness

When someone recommends turning full on toward the child, that means don't keep reading your newspaper or your computer screen. Pause the DVD. Put down the gardening tools. It doesn't mean stare at the child until he finishes his story. It means to be WITH him, with him in thought, and with him in emotion if needed, and with him in awareness.



SandraDodd.com/eyecontact
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp,
of Adam, Julie and James Daniel
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Look for moments

"Look for moments in the day that are good—especially the ordinary moments. Pause and appreciate them when you see them. Let them set the mood for how you move forward. Listen for pleasing sounds. A giggle. A child's breath. Your own heartbeat. Some music. Close your eyes, notice and appreciate those sounds. Find the ones that make you smile. Let your smile soften your mood." —Karen James

SandraDodd.com/badmoment
Original quote from a post at Always Learning, November 26, 2015.
photo by Julie D

Not enough hands?

Instead of having a rule that kids had to hold my hand in a parking lot, I would park near a cart and put some kids in right away, or tell them to hold on to the cart (a.k.a. "help me push", so a kid can be between me and the cart). And they didn't have to hold a hand. There weren't enough hands. I'd say "Hold on to something," and it might be my jacket, or the strap of the snugli, or the backpack, or something.



SandraDodd.com/toddlers
"Hold on to something" or what?
photo by Sandra Dodd

Quiet reflection

"Please take time for reflection. Take time for your mind to be calm and quiet." —Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Sandra Dodd

"Thank you"

A good project for this season: Maybe send a thank-you note.
Not to me.

Send a thank-you note to someone who has helped you this year, or maybe deliver one by hand to the nicest person at your grocery store, or a neighbor who smiles and waves. Maybe someone has been nice to you online, and you could send an e-mail or a facebook message.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Other factors

It's hard to explain unschooling, partly because the best answers are "it depends," followed by questions for the parents to consider while they're making their decisions.

It depends on time available, time of day, safety, resources, the effect on other people, need for food or rest, and other factors I can't think of right now.

Some days a certain request would be just perfectly WONDERful to do/pursue, and the same request on another day might be a total flat-out "no" (or a "maybe later, but not during a funeral," or whatever it is).

Getting unschooling is a process. There will be more to get once you're comfortable with the new understandings and behaviors.


SandraDodd.com/depends
photo by Sandra Dodd

Fill up your family

"You can't give what you don't have," some people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're overflowing with it. It works with respect, too.

SandraDodd.com/spoiledkids
photo by Julie D, of Holly and Adam

Don't hackle or vex

Good policy for the treatment of children, too! Keep all those things in the "bad idea" column, and choose their opposites whenever you can.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd

Books? Old books?

The edition of The New York Public Library Desk Reference we have might be a little outdated, but the rules of ice hockey haven’t changed, nor the way in which one addresses a letter to the Pope, nor the date of the discovery of Krypton. (Some of you thought it was just a Superman thing, didn’t you? Nope--1898, the year before aspirin.) (Before the internet, people had reference books, and even then they seemed like trivia. Trivia can be the interesting door that leads to strange, new knowledge.)

SandraDodd.com/triviality
photo by Sandra Dodd

Ponymania

"My Little Pony" figures and stories have changed over the years, but their contributions to happiness and learning continue to grow.

SandraDodd.com/mlp
photo by Sandra Dodd

An outpouring of love

How can one get from resentment and rigidity to an outpouring of love? Too mushy? It happens.

Making the shift
photo by Sandra Dodd
I first credited Holly. She says she put the rose in the bottle,
but I'm the one who took the photo. It's been a while.

Pay close attention

"Pay close attention to your children. Really see what they are doing, what they are interested in, what they are enjoying, what frustrates them, what they like and what they don't like."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/deschooling
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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The important things

Children can only hear "no" so many times before they start to ignore it, so we helped them make good decisions when they were young, and saved "no" for really important things.



SandraDodd.com/teenager
photo by Janine
and it's a link

What matters

I am willing to watch it with her because I know she loves it. I affirm something about her by taking her interest, her pleasure seriously. I let her know she matters by making it clear that she matters to me. —Meredith Novak 10 Nov 2015

SandraDodd.com/respect
photo by Karen James

Easy flow

Jenny Cyphers, on overcoming fears:

If a parent has too many hangups, too many fears, too many issues, that they don't take out and examine, it will destroy what unschooling could be. People can get really wrapped up in fears and "what if's". Sometimes it consumes a person, a parent, a family. Happy, peaceful, unschooling can't flourish in those conditions. Fear creates blocks. Learning needs easy flow. Easy flow can happen naturally unless a person blocks it.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/fears
photo by Chrissy Florence, the day they saw a mom and baby whale
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Happy and comfortable

"What makes your child happy and comfortable?" —Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/phrases
photo by Janine

The kids will follow

If you're just starting to homeschool I have a few words of advice: Breathe. Smile. Your kids will be sharing your stress and fear, so move quickly to get over them. Meet experienced homeschoolers and model your practice on families you like and respect. Deschool yourselves, and the kids will follow easily.

SandraDodd.com/pinkcrayons
photo by Sandra Dodd

Sweet surprises

Find a comfortable way to relax into the flow of life, as often as you can, appreciating the sweet surprises along the way.

Round, coming around
photo by Lydia Koltai

Joyfully harmonious

Meredith Novak wrote:

Expecting human relationships—of any kind—to be fair and equitable is a set-up for cynicism and disappointment in the human race. Human beings are marvelously varied in their needs and capabilities. It helps a whole lot to think in terms of needs and capabilities rather than rights or fairness or equality. What more can you do to support the people you love—including yourself? Kindness, grace, and generosity go a lot further toward creating warm relationships and a joyfully harmonious home than measuring out equality.

—Meredith

Being a Happy Mom
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Joy is better

*Time out*

Yesterday's post had the wrong time, so it will be delivered today (for those who subscribe by e-mail—1533 people). Thank you for reading!

The Bayeux Tapestry post on November 2 had the wrong photo credit at first. It was Leon McNeill, not Helene McNeill. Holly caught it in the morning, but the e-mails were already out there.


This is post # 1772 or so. That's quite a few. I missed the fifth anniversary of this blog, in September. If you're reading by e-mail and you wish I had written something different, click the title and you'll be between a randomizer and a set of "You might also like:" photos and links. Even if you've read them all, your own knowledge has grown and your perspective has changed, and what you saw before will look different now.

---

Reminder of another blog you might want to subscribe to:
Unschooling Site News, SandraDodd.com
blog-generated selfie by Sandra Dodd, while writing the notes above

Strewing

Strewing:

Literally, scattering something out, like rose petals or herbs or straw on a medieval floor.

Figuratively, leaving interesting things out where they will be discovered.
SandraDodd.com/terminology
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Australian things Schuyler saved to show me
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Ongoing and fluid

When life is whole, and not divided into school grades, then reflection, assimilation and connection are ongoing and fluid. In the absence of reporting periods, there's no need to evaluate periodically. Gain trust in learning, and then focus on providing a rich, peaceful environment. Become an unschooling parent.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Special moments

Special moments can be planned or accidental, funny or profound. Sometimes there's a photo. Sometimes there will be just words, or a quiet memory. Plan a few, and be open to the unexpected.

Holly is ten years older now than she was on the day she saw the Bayeux Tapestry so closely, and her host-dad caught her profile. I'm glad to have this photo of Holly seeing something wonderful.

May you have many special moments, and many more of quiet, normal, peaceful nothing-so-special moments with those you love.

photo by Leon McNeill, of Holly Dodd, in 2005

Supplies

How much are supplies for unschooling? It ranges somewhere between nothing and everything—the whole budget. Once a family starts to consider everything educational, even groceries and cleaning supplies are educational. For beginners, though, part of the trick is working on the definition of "educational." . . . .Learning is everywhere. The five dollars that will buy nothing but plastic pennies or pencils at some stores will buy a sackful of treasures other places.

SandraDodd.com/supplies
That's old writing. I avoid the term "educational" now,
but start where you are and keep getting better!
photo by Colleen Prieto