not a quote from, but goes with SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd
not a quote from, but goes with SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Because a test score is never ignored, tests affect the relationship between parent and child, and many unschoolers want to preserve their child’s journey to adulthood unmeasured, uncompared, and whole. It might seem crazy from the outside, but the disadvantage of testing is real. |
If a child is bored and agitated, she's not learning. If she's happy and smiling and humming and engaged with what she's thinking, seeing, hearing, tasting, touching or smelling, then she's learning.
I've been a teacher. From that point of view the world IS most definitely revolving
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The better we handle the trust given us by a child, the better people we are, and the better the child's young life, adulthood and old age will be. We're not just dealing with little children. We're dealing with the whole of life itself, which will outlast us all. We are dealing with joy and with eternity. | ![]() |
Be the kind of person you want your child to be. Nurture your own curiosity and joy. Find gratitude and abundance. Explore. Make connections, on your own. | ![]() |
![]() | "Sometimes the simplest details lead to more mindful living. The richness of abundant living is in the details." —Ren Allen |
It's really okay to "cherry pick" in regard to the stories you let into your day. There's enough horror somewhere on the planet at any moment to make us all suicidal, so make it a habit NOT to collect or dwell on those stories. You have a responsibility to create as safe and peaceful a nest as you can for your own family.
Thank you, Heather Booth, for saving that and putting it where I could find it again.
art and photo by Sandra Dodd
(the switchplate near our kitchen sink)
![]() | Touch someone, or something, in a gentle, thoughtful way. Feel with your fingers, or cheek, or hand the warmth or smoothness or softness of something or someone you love. |
Taste your food, or holiday sweets, and feel the familiarity that you might miss someday. | ![]() |
SandraDodd.com/wonder
Holly made the animated gif in 2009,
from photos John Yaeger took during The Monkeyplatter Festival.
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Baby powder gave me good memories another day.
![]() | Look for beauty in little things—patterns, or colors. |
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Something important is happening.
![]() | "A good chunk of our days are filled with gaming, and I wouldn't change a moment of it. My son is learning so much, is healthy both physically and emotionally, and truly loves his life. What more could I hope for?!" —Karen James |
If you just do the nice things, that's what good partners do.
Sometimes the real message behind "I'm bored" is "I'm little and feeling agitated and vaguely unhappy and I don't know what I can do to get over this uncomfortable feeling. What would you do if you were my age, in this house, on a day like this?"
I think that deserves a helpful, respectful response.
Mary Gold wrote:
I used to HATE the resentment of "Why should *I* do this?" and so I just decided to change what I thought about what "this" was and why anyone had to do it. It was a philosophical shift. BINGO! It's the shift that makes all the difference. —Mary Gold
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If you think that photo has been used before, you might be thinking of this one, from a different London city bus, at the same museum.
Keep your ideas bouncing in unpredictable directions! Let them spring and fly. | ![]() |
![]() | Neediness expresses itself differently with different kids. Abundance expresses itself similarly in all. A family can learn to find abundance rather than lack, even if they're not wealthy. |
![]() | Because my children learned to read without having been taught, they have no doubt whatsoever that they could learn anything else. Few things are as important or as complex as reading, yet they figured it out and enjoyed doing it. If I thought I had taught them, they too would think I taught them, and they would be waiting for me to teach them something else. |
I had snail photos, but used them already. Doh!
A snail from England and a snail from my yard in New Mexico
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Deschooling means dismantling the overlay of school. Gradually (or just all of a sudden, if you have that ability)
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"I have found that when things get tense, a short 'meditation walk' will really help re-focus my energy...or if the kids come along, we
all see new things, and find our joy again by being in a new setting." —Ren Allen | ![]() |
People come and go and we change each other. We amuse each other if we're lucky and frustrate each other if we're not so lucky. | ![]() |
![]() | All the learning takes place inside the learner. None can be inserted by a teacher. |
Knot tying can lead to all kinds of history and geography. Hunters, traps, climbing, ships (wrapped bottles, in addition to all kinds of sail rigging and tethering knots), and cowboy stuff, and... | ![]() |
Don't be embarrassed about what other people think.
Let the movies lead 18 directions. Use the remote. Pause, rewind, use IMDB and google to find out more, more more!!
Children play with toy guns. Sometimes those guns squirt water, or fire little Star Trek phaser disks, or they shoot light. Some of them make noise.
There is no young-child gun play so violent as a mother saying "NO. I said NO!" to a young child who has dared to pick up a friend's toy gun.
During a drought, what is lacking?
The recommended answer: rain |
Probably some families make rules so that their kids will learn to follow rules. It's possible. Too much practice can kill the joy, though. Being forced to play an instrument can create an adult who doesn't even bother to own one of the instruments he knows how to play, because how he's out of school he doesn't "have to." If someone made me practice eating before every meal, I wouldn't be very hungry. | ![]() |
Don't spend money at first. Read, meet other families, let your children have time to do what they're interested in, or what they weren't allowed to do before because of school.
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While the children are recovering, the parents can learn about what they want to do and why, and how. There is more online about homeschooling than anyone could ever read. Find the writers and ideas that make sense to you, and pursue that. Don't rush into anything. Parents should learn to be calm and thoughtful instead of panicky and reactionary. It's better for health and decision-making, and it sets a good example for the children. Don't live in fear when you can live in joy.
![]() | Don't look at what can be learned. Look at what IS learned. If the parents can change their point of view and expectations and understanding well enough, they will see learning all the time.
There's no advantage in looking at what you wish or hope a child will learn. Look at what he learns. |
Gradually you will notice more and more learning,
and soon it will be happening all the time!
![]() | "Seeing our life work, our choices through the eyes of gratitude changes everything. When financial difficulties set in, I can be grateful for our health, for our togetherness and the true wealth we DO enjoy in this country. When I'm sick, I can be grateful I have family to care for me and that I can recover from whatever is ailing me, unlike many folks suffering much worse fates." —Ren Allen |
The wonderfulness of others will not diminish you. Your realization of the wonderfulness of others will enlarge you.
Don't miss this fun and easy opportunity to tie different "subjects" together by using a song as a jumping off place to many different discussions. If you need ideas, name a song here and see how many suggestions you can get for it!
2012:
What's above was written in 1993. Someone named "Blue Suede Shoes," thinking it wouldn't net much. I just wrote and wrote that day, and luckily I printed it out and saved it. The link below leads to my response, commentary and a video of Elvis doing another song, that leads to another song, and... you know.
Wanting to learn, and making the choice to be in a school when one has the choice to leave without shame or punishment is a world apart from "no choice" and "have to." | ![]() |
You don't get another chance to be the mom to these kids right now, today. When they are grown and gone from you, you can have the cleanest house in the neighborhood. But what is the most important thing today? What will you be happier remembering in your old age; that your house always looked nice or that your kids were happy? What will your children be happy to remember about their time with you? Dirty houses always wait for you to get around to them. Children don't, and shouldn't have to.
Happy, happy, happy.
![]() | We treated our children as guests, in many ways, as they were new to the world and we invited them into our home by having children in the first place. |
When deciding whether it's worth the money to go to an unschooling conference, factor in the money you saved by not buying a curriculum for each child.
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I realize that not everyone can attend a conferences,
but for those who can, it can be a great advantage. —Sandra
Water handed to you nicely is a lot nicer than water slammed at you and sloshed. It's got to be better for you, because you can drink it calmly and sweetly, without trying to choke it down when you feel like you're going to cry. Be gentle. | ![]() |
![]() | Some parents label unschooling as "child-led learning," and so they think they're going from "parent led" life to "child led" life, but the balance point is that the family learns to live together harmoniously.
Harmony makes many things easier. When there is disharmony, everyone is affected. When there is harmony, everyone is affected too. So if it is six of one or half a dozen of the other (right between none and a full dozen), go with harmony instead! |
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