Safer thinking

When a rules-based environment causes rule-breaking, and failure, or balking and resistance, those things are not safe—not physically nor emotionally.

Be expansive in thinking about safety. That's safer.

SandraDodd.com/safe
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Less control, more learning

Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too much and aren't controlling the kids well enough. Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too little and control too much. I don't mind my kids learning things schools fear to teach, or having choices in their lives. Practicing on small things gave them knowledge and experience when they were old enough to practice on larger things. Some families homeschool to limit their children's access and freedom. For us, it's the opposite.

from the MomLogic interview
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Permission and approval

Some advice on going gradually:

Just like getting lots of gifts instead of one big one, if you say "sure," "okay," "yes" to lots of requests for watching a movie late or having cake for breakfast or them playing another half hour on the swings and you can just read a book in the car nearby, then they get TONS of yes, and permission, and approval.

If you throw your hands up and say "Whatever," that's a disturbing moment of mom seeming not to care instead of mom seeming the provider of an assortment of joyous approvals.

SandraDodd.com/freedom/to
photo by Cátia Maciel

Following happily

There's great peace and beauty in a child who is happy to follow a parent, wherever the path is leading.

Human development and reality tend toward that period of life coming to an end, someday, so appreciate it when it's happening, and be understanding when paths diverge.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Cátia Maciel

In between and beyond

I grumped and objected, once, to a challenge for people to post black and white photos. Some people were choosing perfectly good color photos and making them black and white.

I love this photo by Janine, of a black and white cat under a black and white umbrella. If it were not in color, the black and white wouldn't be clearly that.


All of our moments have context, and contrast. Things are rarely "black and white," even in a black-and-white photo. 😊

Open yourself to the smaller subtleties and to the wide expanses.

SandraDodd.com/clarity
photo by Janine

Some of the moments...

"I see all that time and energy and attention as an investment—in my son, and in my own future. If I get to grow old, I hope these are some of the moments that bring colour to my winters."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/mindfulness
photo by Amy Milstein

Sunshine and water

SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Janine, of her boys—
and if it's been used before, it's worth seeing again.

Fun shelter

"Don't shelter them from the world. Don't let them loose in it. Walk with them, paying attention to what it looks like they need to know (not what you think they should know). Partner with them in this real world we live in, so that they can learn, with your guidance and support, how to make the most of their explorations and their ever-growing experience."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/deschooling
photo by Hinano
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Thinking and choosing

If you think of two things and choose the better one, then you've made a choice.

If you act without thinking first, you have acted thoughtlessly.

SandraDodd.com/cairns
photo by Sandra Dodd
and it's upside-down, as they were hanging
in a gift shop in Kuranda

The big idea

Here's the big idea: If children are allowed to turn foods down, they're not forced to eat, and they're given choices, they will come to choose good foods, know when they're hungry and when they're not, and actually learn to listen to their bodies and know what they need.

SandraDodd.com/eating/idea
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Supplies for play

Consider your resources and be on the lookout for more necessities like these: balls, flashlights, cloth for capes or tents (over tables or chairs or couches), containers, bathtub toys (ice is good), costumes, hats, blocks, magnets. Think of yourself, as a child, and what might have caught your attention. Provide for the child inside you and the current child, too!

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Sandra Dodd, Amsterdam airport

Food

The more one's reaction to "food" (the word, the idea, the substance) is strong and emotional, the more evidence there is that the way in which that person was raised to see and deal with food should not be repeated.

SandraDodd.com/food
photo by Sandra Dodd

Playing With Ideas

Natural learning is about making connections, in history, philosophy, belief and practice. Tie in music, art, science, geography, patterns, religion, animals, minerals or vegetables. This is unschooling practice and strewing practice, except that it's as real as anything.

Scatter it out and rearrange it!


On October 20, I went to sleep happily thinking this post was all finished and ready to go, but I had forgotten the photo. So I'll explain what this is. When I visited Wales, I bought this big, gaudy umbrella as a souvenir. In New Mexico, we rarely need umbrellas. A couple of years later, I had baby seedling trees that were perishing from too much sun, so I set the umbrella up for them, to simulate a mother tree's shade, and it stayed a couple of months. Trees can need shade more than people need umbrellas, in Albuquerque, and that's an oddity I'm used to.

Thinking Sticks blog, the post called "trail, trailer, wagon, fender"
photo by Sandra Dodd

Do a good job

If a family values love and relationships, unschooling can pay off in a jackpot of closeness and joy that could hardly be possible with school in the equation, and could never be bought back with a thousand hours of expensive therapy down the road. (Maybe factor in the time savings of not spending a thousand hours sitting and talking about what you could've done differently, in addition to the cost of it.)

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd