Sometimes people measure too much. Try not to go by the clock or the numbers or the calendar so much as you go by the emotional and personal and physical needs of your child. It will pay you back. It will be a good deal. | ![]() |
photo by Jasmine Baykus
Sometimes people measure too much. Try not to go by the clock or the numbers or the calendar so much as you go by the emotional and personal and physical needs of your child. It will pay you back. It will be a good deal. | ![]() |
![]() | A huge amount of learning is taking place, and the child's internal model of the universe is starting to form up. You can help! |
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Find or do things to make people smile. Smile, when you can, at what people are doing. | ![]() |
Children play with toy guns. Sometimes those guns squirt water, or fire little Star Trek phaser disks, or they shoot light. Some of them make noise.
There is no young-child gun play so violent as a mother saying "NO. I said NO!" to a young child who has dared to pick up a friend's toy gun.
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![]() | The urge to control anything, whether it's food or learning or exactly how people sit or exactly what people wear, is bad for the relationship between the parent and the child. Anything that is bad for the relationship is bad for learning, because unschooling is built very largely on a trusting relationship and a close relationship. |
I think there should be 180 great days a year—parents should feel enough pressure that
I don't think anyone should count, but if they feel like they're in a frenzy of doing too much, then that's too much. And if the mom is feeling like maybe she should do more, then she should do more. Enough "great" that the mom feels like she provided greatness. And enough happy that the kid felt like it was good, too. |
![]() | I hope you find some unschoolers you can trust and respect to help you through the rough spots if you have any, and to share your joys and successes. I know that some of you will become trusted and respected helpers for future unschoolers. |
Encourage your kids to play with music in all kinds of ways. They're learning and growing. Help them turn the scary music off, if they're scared. Encourage them to appreciate other people's artistry. Live lightly and musically. And if you have a kid who doesn't seem very musical, don't worry a bit. |
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![]() | Part of unschooling is involving ourselves in our children's lives to the extent that, because we've chosen to do something so different from school and cultural norms, our lives revolve around our children, and we should (if unschooling is to work well) partner with them to make their lives, and the lives of others around them, as pleasant and productive and peaceful as possible. |
Keep your eyes open to newness and beauty—in things you see, and hear; in things you taste, and smell; in things you know, and feel, and think. | ![]() |
![]() | There is a phrase you should break up, in your head: "peace and quiet." Sometimes things seem chaotic that aren't. Sometimes peace can be noisy. Those toys in the photo were making zero noise. |
![]() | "When your words and your actions are in alignment, that's when you're building trust." —Pam Laricchia |
You can lean—even without moving—with thoughts and decisions toward where you want to be. | ![]() |
The most rewarding benefits to our unschooling are the ones that are so much more difficult to describe. The soulful gazes, all the giggles, the joy, the "being in the moment," the connections, the love, the peace (very noisy peace), the flow of life (looks chaotic unless you're in it), and soooooooo much more. —a mom named Rachel | ![]() |
Negativity will weigh you down and make life heavy. Hope and optimism will help you float up and above. | ![]() |
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They did all learn to read, and I was confident that they would. But spinach, mushrooms and green chile might not be anyone's eventual go-to foods. It can seem to be pressure to say "Someday you will" about some things, but "someday you might" makes sense.