Showing posts with label mountains. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mountains. Show all posts

Thursday, November 23, 2023

Soothing soothes.

Find the light moments, and the laughter, with your child. Be as soothing as you can be, because soothing them will also soothe you.

Be sweet; be well.

Peaceful Memories
photo by Amy Milstein

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Choices, for partners

When you choose to say something or to wait, think of which will be more patient, or less critical. If you decide to say something, think of two things and choose the one that is closer to the person you want to be. If you choose not to say anything, consider your posture and demeanor. Choose to be gentle, and not to express negative emotion.

Sometimes choose quiet space, but not hateful silence.

With practice, it gets easier.


SandraDodd.com/betterpartner
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, November 4, 2023

Calm, happy, trusting

sandstone in Colorado
Someone commented that responses to her questions had hurt her feelings. I wrote:

When he is calm and happy and trusting, THEN you will feel better—not because of things we wrote, or didn't, but because you will BE better. You will see it in your son's eyes.

Don't make it about you. Make it about his range of exploration and his choices and his learning and his happiness. You can live on the interest, if you invest enough in him.

(at Radical Unschooling Info, on Facebook)
photo by Amy Milstein

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Turn away, to have peace

When school is no longer a part of the child's life, it's good to turn away from the school and let it fade into the distant past. Repeating and reciting and retelling the school problem keeps it alive and present.

SandraDodd.com/school/
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Unscheduled togetherness

Sabine Mellinger wrote:

This is my 15 year old son with his dog.

I was looking at this picture and thinking about how one of the most beautiful parts (and unexpected effects) of unschooling is the time it allows to live life. You can’t schedule moments like these. This is true for questions asked, discussions had, problems solved together, laughing together and being sad together. Life happens and to be able to enjoy it in the moment is magical.
—Sabine Mellinger

SandraDodd.com/moments
photo by Sabine Mellinger

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Thirteen Light Years

Today is the 13th Anniversary of the first Just Add Light and Stir post. The 14th year begins today.

The parts of the post are a photo (usually by an unschooler), a quote (or some new writing by me), a link (to the quote's context, or to something related) and sometimes a bonus link. That will look like this:
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A "bonus link" usually indicates that a post is working from a phone. I leave them there as a marker for myself, and an easter egg for others. There are still posts I haven't tweaked, but I work on some just about every day. It's fun to see photos and ideas and stories that have gone by but are still as sweet as when they were new.

Please do view the blog from a computer sometimes, if you usually use a phone, so you can use the big randomizer, and the photo tags. If you want to see all the photos by one person, use the search at the blog.

Thanks for reading!
—Sandra Dodd

SandraDodd.com/light
photo by Renee Cabatic
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Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Rules, and problems

Families with rules have a lot to fight about. Couples with a lot of rules have a lot to fight about.

When I wrote that, I had been married for 24 years. As I post it here, I've been married for 39 years. Live lightly.

from a discussion 15 years ago
photo by Holly Dodd, in 2008, the year I wrote what's above

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Many tiny leaps?

Progress toward respectful parenting doesn't come all in one great leap from anywhere to peace all day and all night. It's a step at a time toward "better."

(Original; the quote is the best part.)
photo by Jihong Tang

Thursday, March 30, 2023

Solidly optimistic

Unschooling is a profoundly optimistic decision and that it involves a huge commitment to living a very optimistic life.

I think it is possible that THE most significant thing unschooling does is nurture optimism.
—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/commitment
photo by Jihong Tang

Thursday, February 2, 2023

Growing up and leaving gently

I have heard many stories of the rearrangements of families with unschoolers who are in their late teens or early twenties, and a young adult will leave, or bring another in, or the house is split up some. The stories are peaceful, and not about fear and arguments.

This, below, is from an interview I did in 2010.
I think when the child leaves naturally and positively, for a good reason, and the parents were willing to have him stay longer, there are fewer regrets and frustrations than under other circumstances. When kids are small, the mom is constantly on call. When Holly was born I had two and five year old boys. I know what it's like to have three young children. I also know what it's like to have three teens driving. But when they're calmly and confidently grown, the mom can leave for a month and they'll still be okay.
—Sandra Dodd


Interview, by Kim Houssenloge, of Feather and Nest
photo by Jihong Tang

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Make things better

Marta wrote:

I used to feel very uncomfortable with guilt. And I would dwell on it for days, at times.

I'm glad I learned how to not let it take me down but instead to make things better the next time around (with all my relationships, not just with my daughter)... It seems like a small detail, but it has been so important for me.
—Marta Venturini


SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Jihong Tang

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Climbing mountains and baking pies

Cumbres and Toltec train, 2015
In response to someone saying her child would rather take the easy route than try something tough, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

It's human nature to avoid what we feel is a waste of time, energy and resources.
It's also human nature to pour energy into what we find fascinating.

If someone is made to climb a mountain, they'll find the easiest path, and perhaps even cheat.

If someone desires to climb a mountain, they may even make it more difficult—challenging—for themselves if the route doesn't light their fire.

If it were human nature to go the easy route, I wouldn't be sitting here writing out a response! No one would write a novel. No one would climb Mt. Everest. No one would bake a cherry pie from scratch. No one would have kids.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/pressure
Photo by Sandra Dodd, of Holly Dodd riding a steam train restored and largely operated by volunteers. The easy route would have been for them to stay home and read books and watch movies about trains.

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Don't finish the bad things.

Please don't buy into the "you have to finish what you start" stuff.

If you started screaming or spanking, would you press yourself to finish just because you had started, or wouldn't you pride yourself on your ability to stop and change course as SOON as you saw it wasn't good?

If someone starts a course of poison, it's better to throw the remaining pills in the trash than to finish it all just because you started.

SandraDodd.com/finishwhatyoustart
photo by Holly Dodd

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Relax!


Relax! You can deal with problems better without struggling. You might find out that struggling WAS the problem.

SandraDodd.com/struggle
photo by Gail Higgins

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Peace and comfort

The imagery and analogy of "path" and "bridge" are helpful, in looking at parenting, and at the way time passes as life continues. We are "on a journey" with our children, even if we're staying in the same house, in the same town.

Deciding which way to go, which path to take, is a good way to look at the many little choices parents make all the time, about how to respond, what tone to use, remembering to have a soft face and a smile, so the child can be calm and feel loved.

Sometimes a path might seem scary, but if you're there with your child, you can provide peace and comfort.


SandraDodd.com/peace
photo by Jihong Tang

Monday, July 18, 2022

"T" is for Teaching

This photo is the background for the "T" on the Learn Nothing Day logo.
"Teaching" isn't always about learning. Learning happens inside the learner.


"Children will flourish if their needs are joyfully met as they explore the world. Creatively support your child in what he's genuinely interested in."
—Debbie Regan,
at The Problem with Teaching


This image was used in 2019, at Some ideas for beginning.
Thank you, Lisa Jonick.

Friday, July 1, 2022

Variable speed

Sometimes it's good to rush along a trail. Other days, even a slow stroll might be too much.

It's okay not to follow every trail you see, and it's fine to look at a photo of a path and use your imagination, without going anywhere.

There will be paths, options, and surprise destinations all along the way.

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Ester Siroky

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Quoting "science"

"Scientists" say whatever they want to say. Scientists say the Grand Canyon was created suddenly by a flood. Scientists say the world is only 6,000 years old. Scientists say body fat is not bad. Scientists say it's terribly deadly. Scientists say a species is extinct, and then scientists say they were wrong.

Facts change.

SandraDodd.com/facts
photo by Cass Kotrba



The text aboved was part of a rant. Sometimes when I rant, it's fun to read later, but the context was (as usual) unschooling, within the world of homeschooling.

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Building a rich life

"What it takes to build a rich life is you — your time, energy, imagination, openness, passion, and optimism."
—Claire Horsley
on Always Learning
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Saturday, December 4, 2021

A big, calm place

Focusing too narrowly on danger doesn't make the world a big scary place. It makes it a small, terrifying place. You don't need to do that.

Overcoming Fear
photo by Ester Siroky