written in 1999, before I so carefully avoided the word "teach."
Photo by Sandra Dodd, of a display
at the Bryn Athyn Church School; not my art;
not my "museum" sample, but it was fun to see.
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![]() | The sunset came into my yard this way for just a few moments. I could have missed it. I have missed most sunsets in my life. You will miss much of your child's life. Try not to miss too many moments. It only takes a second to do better. |
We wanted our children to become thoughtful, intelligent, undamaged adults. —Keith Dodd
If I saw [unschooling] simply as a means to get them to college, I might be nervous. I see it as a way to live. I don't see it as keeping the kids out of college or hampering their opportunities for formal learning if they go that route, I'm not holding college up to them or me as “the goal.” The goal, for me, is that they will be thoughtful, compassionate, curious, kind and joyful. That's all. That's not asking much, is it? I think if those traits are intact in them, they will continue to learn their whole lives. | ![]() |
In response to someone talking about her children learning "to self regulate": "Self regulate" means to make a rule and then follow it yourself. They're not self regulating. They're making choices. It's different. It's better! Weeding out terminology we would prefer not to mean improves thinking. | ![]() |
At your house it will be morning again within 24 hours, but it could be morning in your heart any second. |
Maybe it’s not physical need, but intellectual need. Boredom is a desire for input that unschooling parents should welcome. It’s a child saying “How can I add excitement to my life?” This can be a big opportunity to introduce a new subject, activity, or thought-collection. Maybe it’s an emotional need, and the parent’s undivided attention for a little while will solve the problem. A walk, some joking, a hug, inquiries about progress on the child’s projects or plans or friends might serve many purposes at once. If after a walk and a talk the child is not quite refreshed, you still had that time together, which made “I’m bored” a useful invitation to bonding. |
We can nurture confidence in kids by becoming confident ourselves. | ![]() |
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Practice pairs, for easy choice making:
floaty light alive sparkly | dull heavy still boring |
How are you thinking? How are you feeling? How you are thinking and feeling is how you are living and learning. | ![]() |
![]() | photo by Sandra Dodd at Denny's, with Holly |
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![]() | Everything counts, and every connection made increases the depth and breadth of the map of the universe each person is building. It makes it easier to learn the next few things, because there are more places to hook the knowledge. |
We can mess them up early (which our culture applauds) or we can learn to let them grow whole and healthy and strong and free, not crippled in mind and spirit.