Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Benefits of laughter

Deb Lewis wrote (in 2007, so that's the "now"):

Studies are now popping up suggesting laughter makes our brains work better, reduces stress and helps sick people get well. St. Jude's Children's hospital is part of a five-year study about laughter and improved medical outcome. The study may very well expand on a finding by the renowned Dr. Seuss, which says, in part, "Today was good, today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."

Laughter has helped my own family through hard times. Sure we would have come through the hard times anyway, but we came through them with less stress, fewer lasting scars, and lots of great one-liners.
—Deb Lewis

from "Unschooler's Pipe Wrench,"
SandraDodd.com/deblewis/humor
photo by Janine Davies

Friday, December 22, 2023

It seems miraculous.

Alysia Berman wrote:

I tell people that I'm amazed every day by what my kids know and learn. It seems miraculous. It's not, really. It's normal. I see it as miraculous because I was indoctrinated to believe that none of this could happen outside of school and without teachers.
—Alysia Berman

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Julie D
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Saturday, December 2, 2023

Kindness, generosity and joy

Meredith wrote:

Kindness and generosity and joy are important to me. So if I look at my daughter and she seems dissatisfied or bored, I want to do something to help—I want to spread some kindness and joy. So I'll look for ways to do that. Will it help to visit more friends? Go someplace with animals (my daughter loves animals)? Is she happy with her current animation program or is she ready for something more complex? Has she finished her latest graphic novel? Does she need new shoes? Do I need to spend more time hanging out with her? Play a game, maybe (video or board game)? Go on an adventure together? Write together? I suggest things based on what I know about her—what sorts of things make her smile, light her up with enthusiasm, or pique her curiosity.

When I focus on those sorts of goals, learning takes care of itself. That's something that can be hard to see right away, especially if you have some schoolish expectations as to how learning happens. Read more about natural learning so you can build up some confidence.
—Meredith Novak

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Julie D

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

Safe at home

"He should be safe in his own home" is a good thing to remember about a child. It can be said to visitors, to siblings, and reflexively to oneself when making a decision. An adult partner should be safe in his own home, too.

SandraDodd.com/safety
photo by Julie D

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Priorities, influence, reading

A story from when Kirby was in his late teens:

Kirby was reading aloud the other night from a gaming manual to that big batch of guys who went to see Pirates of Penzance with us. Kirby and Marty really wanted to go to the play. As things turned out, three unexpected others went with us. That was fine. They went because they were involved in a roleplaying game, and wanted to continue it later, and because they trust Kirby and Marty's judgement about what's cool.

They had fun, and came back and played several hours longer afterward. But Kirby, one of the youngest of the seven there, and one of the "least educated," was reading difficult material aloud to attentive others, one of whom... has a college degree, one of whom has two years of college, and none of whom had any reason to say, "Let me read that." He could've been reading it for taping, or radio. Expressive, clear, no hesitation.

He's confident in his skin, in his mind, and in his being.
He's not afraid of his parents.
He goes to sleep happy and he wakes up glad.

My priorities could have been different.


Kirby is in his 30s now, married, and reads each night to two little girls. I wish I could hear it sometimes.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd— not of that night's game, but there's Kirby in black to the right, and Marty in green, with other unschoolers

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

More or less

Leah Rose wrote:

I've been thinking about that saying "All things in moderation." Next time someone says it to me, I think I might just ask them: "Do you mean we should have joy in moderation? Should we have peace in moderation? Kindness in moderation? Patience in moderation? Forgiveness? Compassion? Humility?"

Honestly, I used to think it sounded like a very wise and balanced philosophy. Now, the more I think about it the less sense it makes.
—Leah Rose

Moderation
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, August 12, 2023

Kind is kinder

When you are kind, it changes the kind of person you are. When you are patient, it makes you a better person.

More simply put, kind is kinder, patient is more patient and better is better.

SandraDodd.com/smell
photo by Julie D

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Your happy, whole heart

Someone asked me, "Are the unschoolers more successful and clever? And do they have more chance to find good jobs as adults?"

I wrote:

I can't say. Even if most were, your own kids might not be. Even if most weren't, your own kids might be.

If what you do is better than school, for your kids, keep doing that. If school would be better than what you're doing, for your kids, in their real lives, then do that.

If you're going to unschool, do it wholeheartedly and happily.

SandraDodd.com/screwitup
photo by Janine Davies

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Better, for your future children


If parents become complacent and don’t think that they need to do better and could do better, then they can’t do better, and they won’t do better. And if they’re ever going to get to be the unschooling parents that their future children need—their bigger, older children with bigger questions and problems—they need to keep getting better.

Changes in Parents
photo by Holly Dodd
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Saturday, May 15, 2021

Ever-changing opportunities

Each little experience, every idea, is helping your child build his internal model of the universe. He will not have the government-recommended blueprint for the internal model of the universe, which can look surprisingly like a school, and a political science class, a small flat map of the huge spherical world, a job with increasing vacations leading to retirement, and not a lot more.

Unschooled children can organize their knowledge in free and better ways. They never need to feel they are through learning, or past the point that they can begin something new. Each thing they discover can be useful eventually. If we help provide them with ever-changing opportunities to see, hear, smell, taste, feel, move and discuss, what they know will exceed in breadth and depth what any school's curriculum would have covered. It won't be the same set of materials—it will be clearer and larger but different.
Seeing It
photo by Catherine Hassall
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Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Comforting and comfortable

Life can be based on comforting others, on finding ways to be comfortable ourselves. I don't mean comfortably wealthy, I mean being at peace—not making other people uncomfortable.

There are emotional and mental and physical comforts most people never knew existed, but unschoolers have learned to get used to them!

"Comforts", The Big Book of Unschooling (page 12, any edition)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Learn to guess

Too many parents talk and talk to their kids, and ask them how they feel and ask them what they need.
Learn to guess. Learn to provide in advance. Food is good to practice with. Soft, clean cleared-off beds are good to practice with. Clearing off space for video gaming is nice. Soon you start to think about heat, softness, clean clothes, toothpaste before it runs out, favorite foods when you shop. And then people feel heard and comforted and entertained and loved.
SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Elaine Santana

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Learning without effort

When unschooling is working really well, learning will be happening, for kids and parents, without effort.
The Fabric of Life
photo by Julie D
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Thursday, July 23, 2020

Learn Nothing Day starts at midnight

Learn Nothing Day begins circling the world soon, from one midnight to another, from New Zealand through Australia, Singapore and Malaysia, India, Kuwait, Moldova, South Africa, western Europe... a little lull across the Atlantic to Brazil, while the others wake up and see how well they can do at not learning for just one day. A holiday. Un-"School break."



New Art from Rotterdam, 2018
new photos underlaid by Saskia Ruder
click to enlarge

Dear reader:
If you are near the areas listed above and I left you out, let me know.

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Images

Remember that things seem different different times to different people. My perspective when I'm stressed or sad will be colored by that. Things shift and change.

Live lightly.
Light and Lightness
photo by Belinda Dutch

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Moments of growth

Some moments seem more important than they are. Other moments are more important than they seem.

We can't guarantee or control much, in the world, so look for the good, and look for the growth.

A moment of peace and sweetness cannot be recreated. Perhaps new ones can be induced, though!

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Elaine Santana

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Learning curve

The learning curve of unschoolers has a plateau in the middle, it seems. Don't worry.



SandraDodd.com/learningcurve
photo by Belinda Dutch
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Sunday, January 20, 2019

Hello?

We don't know, when we meet a person, whether we'll see them again, at all, a little, a lot.

We can't always know, when we have a wish, whether its fulfillment would be good for others or ourselves.

Probaby the best thing to do is to relax and say "Hello!"


SandraDodd.com/patience
(These words aren't there, but others are.)
photo by Janine Davies
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Saturday, October 6, 2018

Confidence oozes out


Once your own child starts to grow and change, then the confidence isn't external. It's not "I believe this will happen because I've seen it happen elsewhere," it's "I believe it's happening because it's happening. You can't deny that I know my child learned this without school." And so the confidence that those families then have oozes out to other families. And this is an advantage of those many years passing, is there's a lot of experience, a lot of examples, to see.

SandraDodd.com/classDismissed
photo by Janine Davies
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Friday, October 5, 2018

Into the future

One of the most important things to remember is that we have choices. It's the choices we make, consciously or unconsciously, that take us into the future.
—Karen James
SandraDodd.com/separation
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp