| I think "struggle" comes with a dramatic martyrdom, wrapped in "You wouldn't understand." How many steps does it take to step out of that puddle of pity and onto solid clarity? I think one. Stop struggling. Breathe and try to think clearly. If that doesn't come naturally, or seems mysterious, here are some ideas: Breathing Clarity Peace Positivity Thoughts about doing better |  |
I used posts once for the imagery for Choices and Incremental Change—an online presentation in 2015. Turn the sound off if you want to watch in peace and think of greeting cards. [If you're seeing this by e-mail and the player won't work, click through to the blog.]
Gradual is better. Pass on to anyone who listens to any of you about unschooling to change gradually and not to jump far.
| Some things will be a mystery to most people. It's good to accept that we won't understand everything, because here's a fact: No one understands everything. There are mysteries. Don't let that disturb your peace. Practice saying "I don't know" to children is good practice for saying it to ourselves when the children aren't around. |  |
| Whole language involves language as communication, rather than as separate parts (writing / reading / spelling). First language; details later. |  |
| PLAY with your kids. Playing can be the single best way to really get to know your kids. Get down on the floor, follow their lead, and PLAY with them. —Lyle Perry |  |
 | "To nourish" someone goes above and beyond food. "Good food" served with shame or pressure loses all its goodness, to a child. A loving relationship can last forevermore. Ice lollies and popsicles are gone in no time. Let their memories of treats, and of meals, of childhood, and of parents, be warm and comforting. |
 | I like museums, but if you can see the whole world as a museum, your life will light up! If you can see art in normal, functional things, your life will lighten up! |
 | Life can be based on comforting others, on finding ways to be comfortable ourselves. I don't mean comfortably wealthy, I mean being at peace—not making other people uncomfortable. There are emotional and mental and physical comforts most people never knew existed, but unschoolers have learned to get used to them! |
Sometimes "bored" means tired,
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| Be patient with your kids and with yourself, please!! |  |
| Lightning storms. Snow. Kangaroos. Tumbleweeds. Tugboats. Mountains. Beaches. Cargo bikes. Lifts / elevators. Temples. Shave ice. Castles. Cactus. Alligators. |  |
| Sometimes an adult who had learned not to learn, or had grown up to be self-conscious about enthusiasm and curiosity, rediscovers the joy of discovery. |  |
 | When unschooling is equated with alternative school, it can blind people to the possibilities of full-on radical unschooling. No matter how extremely great or different a school is from a traditional school, or the default standard, it is still a school. Parents who are unschooling as a whole way of life, can discover what no school can find, and the core aspect of it is the family as a base for learning—for learning about family, for learning about relationships, and resources, money, food and sleep, and learning about laughter. |
| "Add light" can notch us up into the... lighter light. It's not just sunshine that's light. There is firelight, candlelight, the glow of an iPad on a happy face, a flashlight under the covers, moonlight.
There can also be light from within—bright eyes, and a warm smile. Light as in not heavy or ponderous—lighten up in that way, too. Light humor. A light step. Light music, with a light lunch. I hope this will bring to light some ways for you to light up your own life and some of the lives around you. |
 | What do babies want? They want to learn. They learn by touching and tasting and watching and listening. They learn to be gentle by people being gentle with them... |
| "Child-led, 'wait til they ask'" isn't the way radical unschooling works. It's a way for unschooling to fail, if the parents are twiddling their thumbs waiting for the child to lead, or ask to learn something. |  |
| Be brave, be calm, be happy. |  |
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| Sometimes people make a conscious decision to change. All unschoolers have done that and then worked consciously to create and to stay on a smooth course. Some people say "I will never change," but you will, because change is what time and life do. |  |
 | If parents wonder whether they should be more generous with their children, I would say yes. The more the better. Not in a give-them-everything-they-want kind of way. More in a give-them-as-much-of-yourself-as-you-can kind of way. Be open. Be generous. Be understanding. Be trusting and trustworthy. Be present. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be patient. Be helpful. Be kind. You will be amazed at what you see. —Karen James |
| Someone wrote once "I really have to be vigilant on myself and try not to control." I was amused, but responded, in part:
Being "vigilant" sounds like absolutely exhausting effort. Relax. You do not "have to be vigilant." Especially not on yourself. That's you watching yourself. Way too much work. Let go of one of those selves. Relax inside the other one. Have a snooze. Don't be vigilant. When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently. |
| Why does...? Who will...? When did...? Where are...? What is...? Do you...? Can I...? | Because... I think... Let's ask... We can look... As far as I know... Sometimes. Yes. |
 | There's little so sweet and grounding to me as being loved for who I am and appreciated for all I choose to spend my time doing. If we want our children to really know what that feels like too, we should stop standing on the sidelines, and start joining in. |
| So with radical unschooling it is possible for a family, even who skipped that part—even who didn’t have infant bonding—to, as much as possible, restore a relationship between the parents and the children, where the parents really do care about what the children think and want, more then they look in the book and see what a six-year-old should think or want. |  |
 | I love my children and think they're really important, and that it is part of my privilege to be their mom and to introduce them to the fun and interesting parts of the world, and I hold them in esteem. They are of higher value to me than other things and other people. That isn't respect they had to earn. But it's emotional and it's attitudinal, and it's relative to me. —Sandra Dodd, in 2010 |
 | No life is peaceful at every moment, but the more peaceful moments you have, the more peaceful are the lives of all concerned. The lives of those indirectly affected are also closer to peace. |
| Change a moment. Change one touch, one word, one reaction. If you try to change your entire self so that next year will be better, you might become overwhelmed and discouraged and distraught. Change one thing. Smile one sweet smile. Say one kind thing. If that felt good, do it again. Rest. Watch. Listen. You're a parent because of your child. Your child. You should be his parent, or her parent. Not a generic parent, or a hypothetical parent. Be your child's parent in each moment that you interact with her. |  |
