photo by Cally Brown
Monday, November 4, 2024
Things started happening...
photo by Cally Brown
Saturday, September 28, 2024
Open gates to peaceful places
Any program can be the springboard for sincere and helpful exchanges between parents and children **unless** the mom condemns and rejects a program in such harsh terms that the children aren't even able to discuss it with her for fear of criticism or rejection. Then the mom has cut off her kids. And "I hate X" is not an open gate.
"Hate" is a set of biochemicals that will not let love and open acceptance in until hate settles down, so moms hoping to build a peaceful learning nest for children should be using the best materials they have, physical or emotional or otherwise. Hate, jealousy, resentment and those sharp and separating emotions are not nesting materials.
I'll leave links to the original writing, to a newer page on positivity, and on "Building an Unschooling Nest."
SandraDodd.com/positivity
SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd
Friday, September 6, 2024
Many small adjustments
I place toothpaste on Xander's toothbrush at night. One night he said it was too much toothpaste so the next night I put much less on. He then told me it was too little toothpaste.
Exasperated, I said, "I can't win for losing."
He said, "You can win. With many small adjustments!"
Do not be overwhelmed.
YOU can unschool with many small adjustments!—Renee Cabatic
Xander is grown now. Because of him and his mom, MANY people learned to consider making small adjustments toward more peaceful living and learning.
photo by Vlad Gurdiga
Thursday, August 3, 2023
Examine ideas yourself
If a parent has found something that works for their family without understanding why it worked and how much personality played in it, then for others it's little better than rolling dice and picking some technique at random.
On the other hand, those who are living examined lives. thinking about and discussing why something works in the context of growing relationships, that's way better than dice! And no one should swallow what's said uncritically. They should take it in, turn it over, ask questions and examine it for themselves.
Critical examination is better for reaching clear goals than pretty sentiments of "following the heart" and "mom knows best."
photo by Vlad Gurdiga
Friday, July 14, 2023
Moment, hour, day, lifetime
photo by Holly Dodd
Monday, July 10, 2023
Shuffle it up
It helps for new unschoolers to read some, then try some, maybe meet some people if they can, read more, try more, maybe listen to something or watch something, try more, and shuffle it up that way.
Those new to unschooling need most or all of the same things others needed when they were new: local information, access to laws and policies, reassurance, suggestions for deschooling, answers to questions (although the answers are ever more easily available as people collect up the best answers of the past). They need inspiration and ideas.
If you're new: read, change a little; read more, change more; repeat.
photo by Dan Vilter
Tuesday, April 11, 2023
On changing
This is still an ongoing process for me. I had to re-train myself in a lot of ways. I had to learn a new language. I had to learn to SEE again. I had to learn how to communicate. I had to learn patience. I had to learn how to put others first. .....WOW! Sometimes an old thought will creep in. Sometimes I find myself answering a question in *teacher tone*...but it is so few and far between, and I am so quick to catch it that nobody ever notices except me!
photo by Marin Holmes
Monday, March 20, 2023
One special place
What are walls and fences made of where you are? Some other places, it is very different. How does the air feel and smell when it's cold? What's the first plant that might volunteer to grow in a bare spot? What little animals might you see, and what birds do you hear? What do people throw away that a tourist might pick up and keep? What food is readily available, that everyone knows how to make, and has the ingredients for on hand nearly always?
When you look as far to the east as you can see, what is the view? Turn around and look the other way, too.
Where you are is exotic to most of the rest of the world. Most other people will never see it. Knowing that your plainness is someone else's curiosity can make your life richer.
Sometimes, when you look, listen, taste, feel, smell, close your eyes and rest, remember that you are in one special place.
or Your House as a Museum
photo by Oshan in Sri Lanka
(click for a slightly wider view)
Sunday, February 26, 2023
Light shows
There are other lights that can catch your eye, though. Candles, lamps and lanterns, maybe. Your home might have electric fixtures you especially like.
Sometimes we think of the light in someone's eyes, or their lightness of being. Some people live lightly, with springy steps and easy smiles.
When you have light inside you, others can see it.
photo by Cathy Koetsier
Tuesday, February 22, 2022
Being present with kids
They won't be three forever! Their understanding and needs will grow and change as they get older.
Conventional parenting is not about being present with kids. It's about giving kids rules as a replacement for being there. Same can go for information. Information shouldn't be a substitute for being there and being aware. We should let kids know that cars can hurt them, which is why we steer them clear of the street. But we shouldn't then depend on kids understanding. We need to be there. We need to be aware of our child's tendencies to run to the street when in that type of situation. We need to avoid as much as we can places where they can run into the street until they can understand.
photo by Sandra Dodd
Tuesday, February 8, 2022
Goop, fire, snowballs
When one person says "I like science" and another says "I don't like science," I remember school science textbooks that had geology, astronomy, chemistry, botany, biology, agriculture and physics all in one book.
photo by Sandra Dodd
Friday, October 15, 2021
Love; generosity; a haven
Wash dishes because you want to. What would make you want to? Love. Generosity. A desire to have an available kitchen, a clean slate, a fresh canvas. The wish to do something simple and kind for yourself and others. The wish to keep peace in your house. The preference of singing and feeling warm soapy water over accusations and threats and tears. The intention to build loving relationships rather than antagonism. The hope to make a haven of your home, rather than a dangerous trap everyone would love to escape.
related ideas online: Serving Others as a Gift
photo by Colleen Paeff
Tuesday, August 24, 2021
Safety and welcome
I love gates, especially when you can see through them, but they keep children, animals and gardens safe. Though they might keep strangers out, they can welcome friends in!
I hope you have a gate or two you use, or see, or like, in your life.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Tuesday, February 23, 2021
Layers and depth
Sometimes I think I've started to understand something but instead it's like an onion and there's another layer I didn't know I needed to understand.I responded:
That's how everything good is. Every hobby, skill, pastime, has a surface and has a depth. Some things can be just surface, but parenting and unschooling last for years. And if a family can't resolve to be and do and provide better for the child than school would, then school is better.
If a family resolves to provide a better life experience then school did, then their decisions and actions should be based on that.
Make the Better Choice
Getting It
photo by Ester Siroky
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Antiquery
Some antiques are never in a store or a museum. What others show you as old and valuable might be wonderful, but be on the lookout for other elderly objects, minding their own business without being fancy.
History lives in all of that.
photo by Sandra Dodd
(click for another angle, with mountains but no trough)
Monday, April 6, 2020
Wide view and close-up
A closer photo of this gate might look more limiting than this distant view. There's no fence attached, past the low places on each side of the road. It will keep vehicles out, but not animals.
If you're feeling limited by something that doesn't really have a fence, it might be illuminating to look more closely at some of the construction, at the details. Things are different different places, and interesting.
To young children, things can be new even if they're the same old hardware, or view, or tree, or sky, to the adults. If you can see through a child's eyes, things might seem new again.
Seeing as a visitor or a tourist, in your imagination, will reveal another layer to your same-old, too. Even when you don't have visitors, you can think of what might be interesting to someone from another side of the world.
photos by Sandra Dodd, visiting Queensland in 2014
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Wednesday, December 25, 2019
Sunday, December 8, 2019
Gates
photo by Belinda Dutch
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Live well
Don't "model" and "teach." Live. You will be a giant step nearer to radical unschooling if you can see that difference.
photo by Samuel Siroky
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Free to behave nicely
My children are about as free as they're going to get, honestly. Always have been. Yet there are all these real-life limitations and considerations. They're free to ignore them. And the state of New Mexico (county of Bernalillo and City of Albuquerque) are not only free, but OBLIGATED, to protect other residents from any over-reaching acts of wild "freedom."
photo by Sandra Dodd, but in Maine, not New Mexico
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