Enjoy the cool things

Nancy Wooton wrote:

Present whatever you think is cool, but *always* allow your children the freedom to say, "No thank you." Then, keep on enjoying the cool thing *for yourself.* Unschooling is for moms and dads as much as for kids!

And always remember the wisdom of Hobbes (the tiger, that is):

"If nobody makes you do it, it counts as fun."

—Nancy Wooton

SandraDodd.com/questionsNancyWooton
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

States of being

Sometimes wind is blowing and sometimes it's still. Usually water is wet, but in some times and places it can be ice.

I have vivid memories of being childless. I had babies, and children, and teens (not all at the same time). Now I'm a grandmother.

May your status and your transitions be peaceful and calm, with joys to discover.

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Tessa Onderwater

"I feel it in my fingers..."

Karen James, on math:

I took the leap and we began homeschooling, with me trusting that like walking, talking, reading, writing, and all the other things he had managed to learn through his play and exploration and with our active support, he would come to have a meaningful understanding of math too. When I came to a greater understanding of unschooling, I suspected we had not made a error in judgement. As I have watched Ethan's relationship with math grow and deepen, I knew we had not.

What I didn't realize when I was worrying about how to bring math to Ethan, was that Ethan had already found math. He found it on his fingers. He found it in the seeds of an apple I had cut open. He found it in the peas spread over the tray on his high chair. He found it in every repeated drop of his cup or spoon. He found it in the music we listened to. He found it in the timing between jumps on his jolly jumper. He found it in the balance he needed to take the next step. He found it in the distance between steps. It was everywhere already, and he was already finding the art in it. I just needed to stop my worrying and start having fun.

So I have.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/math/found
photo by Belinda Dutch

The title isn't from the quote, it's from a 1967 Troggs song.


In 2023, Ethan James is newly grown up and working at a video game company, at least for a while.

Natural forces

With the right set-up, wind or water or sun can create power. Natural things can cause big changes.

When unschooling is working well, questions, conversations, jokes or songs bring powerful thoughts and profound changes.

With the right set-up everyday life can create power.

SandraDodd.com/t/learning
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild

Trees and toy trains

'Tis the season for miniatures and lights, of nostalgia and sharing.

Be warm, and help light up the world around you.

Every little bit helps.

Sun, or moon, or fire
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild

Recent history

Sorting out news from "current events" from history isn't as easy as it once was, with the internet and with so many sources and resources. Some history isn't very old at all, while other history is archeology and paleontology.

If you think of it all as stories, people, places, things, trivia and connections, it won't matter what label school might have put on it. Have fun with history!



SandraDodd.com/history
photo by Sandra Dodd

Learning by touching

An adult with 20 or more children to watch will say "Don't touch it" quite often. An unschooling parent might rarely need to say it, being close at hand.

As my children had examples of people being gentle with their things, and were with me when I was gentle with other people's things, it was easy for them to learn to examine objects without being rough or careless.

SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Jo Isaac
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Accessible enlightenment

Janine wrote:

When my family started unschooling, my partner and I felt the spirituality of it immediately...
. . . .
It's grounded, realistic, accessible enlightenment.

—Janine

---

Read the whole thing, halfway down this page:
SandraDodd.com/spirituality

photo by Sandra Dodd, of the calliope on an English carousel
that now lives in a mall in California
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Commitment to optimism

Pam Sorooshian, in 2012 (pared down from the original):

Unschooling is a profoundly optimistic decision, and it involves a huge commitment to living a very optimistic life.

I think it is possible that THE most significant thing unschooling does is nurture optimism.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/commitment
photo and quote reduction by Sandra Dodd
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Deciphering written language

Only the reader can decipher it.
. . . .
Cipher is from the Arabic word for zero, and has been in English for a long, long time. "To cipher," meaning to do arithmetic, is a word even my grandfather used, who was born in 1898 and lived in Texas. But why a "ph" and not an "f"? Because it came through Greek. Some Greek mathematician discovered the idea from Arabic, wrote it down in Greek, and it came to other European languages from that. "Ph" words in English are always from Greek.

To decipher something (like reading) means to figure out the patterns.

A parent cannot decipher words for a child. Only the child can decipher written language. You can help! You can help LOTS of ways. One way would be to gain an interest in the words you use yourself, and stop once in a while to examine one, its history, why it means what it means.

SandraDodd.com/etymology
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Collecting ideas

Some people collect things. Even those who don't gather and store physical objects might like hearing all of one artist's music, or seeing all the movies by a single director. I used to want to go into every public building or business in my home town. I never succeeded, but I saw each building as "yes, have been inside," or "not yet."

It might not make sense to a parent that a child wants to save feathers or rocks or movie ticket stubs. That's okay. What's important is that the unschooling parent accept that there is thought involved that might not need to make sense to anyone else. If possible, the child's whims and wishes about such things should be accepted and supported.

Focus, Hobbies, Obsessions
photo by Sandra Dodd, of someone else's robots
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A feast!

This morning I brought my 8-year-old son a snack as he was busy playing on the computer, and he said "Wow! A feast! One, because it is big. And two because it has yummy things on it." And he carried on playing. And now I am smiling. —Dominique Trussler

SandraDodd.com/surprise
photo by Dominique Trussler

The happiest days

"Funny how the happiest days are full of small joys instead of major undertakings." —Ronnie Maier

SandraDodd.com/day/df
photo by Sandra Dodd

Mindful and thoughtful

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

I think people confuse "Say yes more" with "Never say no."

When you are moving toward unschooling it's important for parents to examine why they are saying "No" to their children. Is it for a good and real reason or is the parent saying no reflexively? I think it's an important mental exercise in creative thinking to examine "Why am I saying no?" There may actually be a good and real reason to say no. Maybe with a little creativity the answer can be yes. Maybe it can be "yes, but not now." Or "Yes, but not here."

To say "yes" reflexively is no more mindful than saying "no" thoughtlessly.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/joyce/yes
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Swirls and connections

Joyce wrote:

A big part of natural learning is absorbing ideas and letting them swirl around in the background. They clarify. They form connections. If the subject comes up again in a few months, you may be surprised how differently you're looking at what you were wondering about.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Much more than half

I've given this advice to newlyweds, and to my oldest child the first time he had a roommate:

Don't aim for 50/50.

If 50% is right, then 49% is wrong, and 65% would be something get angry about.

If you both aim for more than half, you'll meet around the middle, around half the time. If you want the other person to stick around, "around" is the goal.

SandraDodd.com/peace/mama
photo by Sandra Dodd
P.S. Nearly six years later and three houses later, Kirby still lives with that roommate, who is engaged. He and his fianceé custom-ordered a new home, designed to accommodate Kirby comfortably.
Don't measure.

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2020 update: Thirteen years later, Kirby is married, with three children, in a house in Albuquerque. They all get along sweetly.

See beauty in...

It's easy to see beauty in nature. It's good to learn to see beauty in tables, cloth, air, spoons, socks, switches, handles, doorknobs, words, sounds, air, clouds, breeze, and ideas.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd

Why thought matters

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Lots of people go through their whole lives never feeling like they had choices in many many areas of their lives in which they really did. Just like it is useful for unschoolers to drop school language (not use the terms teaching or lessons or curriculum to refer to the natural learning that happens in their families) it is useful to drop the use of "have to's" and replace it with an awareness of choices and options.

How we think—the language we use to think—about what we're doing, matters.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/haveto
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Oranges and water

There have been a couple of discussions in which people said strewing was manipulative and sneaky. I don't see it that way at all. If I know what kinds of things my children could use being exposed to to be more well rounded, or to "fill in gaps" in what they know, or to take them to another level of understanding, bringing those things up in physical or conversational ways is no more "manipulative" than bringing more fruit into the house if there hasn't been much fruit consumption lately, or bringing them bottles of water on hot summer days. I don't need to force them to eat oranges or drink water, but I can notice it might be good for them and make it appealing.

SandraDodd.com/strew/how
photo by Sandra Dodd
of a picture of a steam engine
on a steam engine
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It's Time for Time

Time can be geological, historical, millenial, generational, eternal or poetic. Current time can involve years, months, seasons, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds and subparticles thereof. Time can fly or drag along. It can heal everything or be the enemy. There's no time out from time!

I hope you find some things here that you didn't know before, so that you feel your time was well spent. Time is money (or at least we talk about it as though it can be spent, saved, lost, wasted and stolen).

Be generous with your time and use it joyfully!

SandraDodd.com/time
photo by Sandra Dodd