Quietly and gently play

Jigsaw puzzles are wonderful, and you can get them at yard sales and thrift stores for less than a dollar. Greeting cards cost $2 now, but you can get a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle for 50 cents and so what does it matter if it might have a piece or three missing? Cheaper than a greeting card. Work it and throw it away. While you’re working it, the picture on the box will inspire questions, stories, ideas, tangents. The shapes of the pieces will remind people of other connections in their lives. Except for those toddlers who eat puzzle pieces, puzzles can involve people of all ages together. There are some on the market now with big pieces at one end, medium in the middle, and small for the rest. Some bright parent thought THAT up. They’ll be coming soon to a yard sale near you.

SandraDodd.com/truck
That was written in 1999; greeting cards can be $4 and $5 now, and used puzzles might be $2.

image by Sandra Dodd, done with a scanner (pieces set face down)

Sunshine

Whether it's warm outside or cold, the sun through the window is the same. Be light.

SandraDodd.com/mindfulness
photo by Wendy Neathery-Wise

If then learning

The parents don't need to know what the child is learning in order for learning to be happening.

If a child is bored and agitated, she's not learning. If she's happy and smiling and humming and engaged with what she's thinking, seeing, hearing, tasting, touching or smelling, then she's learning.

Sandra Dodd, on the Always Learning discussion September 2012
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Fragile and beautiful

Be ready to discover temporary fragile beauty.

SandraDodd.com/pressure
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Every day or two

Strewing is a little like at school, when they change the bulletin boards for different seasons, or museums when they change displays. It's restaging the learning area. Unschoolers don't need to wait weeks or months to restage, though. Something interesting might be set out every day or two.

SandraDodd.com/strewing
photo by Sandra Dodd

Life

See what is beautiful, even briefly. Appreciate what is, even for a moment.

SandraDodd.com/chores/joy
photo by Gail Higgins

the choose-joy light

Someone else's question, and part of my answer:

As much as I read,... I seem to slide right back into schoolish ways. How long does it take to really break that bad habit?

Forever.

If you think of it in negative terms ("bad" and not just "break" but "really break"), you will just sit in that negativity, frustrated, forever. You will feel there had to be a winner (you) or a loser (you) and you will be angry with yourself.

The change you need is to live a different way. Step out of the grumpy dark into the calm decision-making choose-joy light.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Future memories

"Remind yourself that each moment we're creating memories. Think of those moments as photos in a photo album. We have no control over which pictures they'll keep. Ask yourself, 'Is this a moment I want my children to carry with them forever? Is this how I want them to remember me?'"

—Joyce Fetteroll

Techniques for Change at Joyce's site
photo by Chrissy Florence

Just like that.

So how do you choose? You decide where you want to go before you decide to turn left or right, don't you? Just like that.

SandraDodd.com/quotes
photo by Sandra Dodd

Together every day

Parents know a child is learning because they're seeing and discussing and doing things together every day. Not five days a week, or most of the year, but all of the days of their whole lives. Os pais sabem que a criança está a aprender porque eles estão a ver e a discutir e a fazer coisas juntos todos os dias. Não é cinco dias por semana, ou a maior parte do ano, mas todos os dias das suas vidas inteiras.

SandraDodd.com/faq
SandraDodd.com/portuguese/faq
(Sandra Dodd, traduções em Português por Marta Venturini Machado)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Watch your step!

Meredith Novak wrote:

"I don't think too much focus on either rights or liberty is good for unschooling. When parents are invested in their rights, it's easy to step on kids' liberty. Worse, it's easy to step on kids' hearts." —Meredith Novak

(I dropped one clause, above, because
it referred to someone else's quote. —Sandra *)
SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

Cameras and light

Cameras weren't around, 200 years ago. A hundred years ago, people needed to be very still, to have a photo taken, and they were in black and white. Now, wonderful photos can exist without needing to be printed. That's good! But they are sometimes less permanent than the older, paper images people framed and handed down. Use your cameras, but let images come and go. Pixels, like light, can be beautiful and be gone again.

SandraDodd.com/photographs
photo by Holly Dodd, of herself

Familiar things

Favorite tools, stored in the same old way, make your home special, and will be part of a child's memories. Love your normal stuff.

SandraDodd.com/dishes
photo by Sandra Dodd of some familiar things at Polly's house

How long?

How long should you be calm? Longer than you think you need to be.

SandraDodd.com/calm
Thanks to Amber Ivey for saving a quote from a workshop I ran in Arizona.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Props

Props and costumes can help children to perceive the world in a slightly different way, and those thoughts add to their knowledge.

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Lydia Koltai

What we know

We can't tell by looking at a child that learning is taking place. When unschooling is working well, though, we begin to know know that if they are interested, engaged and thinking, they are making their own connections, large or small.

SandraDodd.com/proof
photo by Chrissy Florence

Deposit the good stuff.

When people ask about being happier and more positive, the answer can't help but be the same. BE happier. BE positive.

But as with any accounting (think a bank account), withdrawals deplete your reserves. Every negative word, thought or deed takes peace and positivity out of your account. Cynicism, sarcasm—which some people enjoy and defend—are costly, if your goal is peace.


SandraDodd.com/negativity (which is really about positivity)
photo by Janine
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A useful gate

"Rather than experiencing you as a gate that either opens or closes, let him experience you as someone he can depend on to help." —Joyce Fetteroll

in a discussion November 10, 2016
photo by Sandra Dodd

Food and art

Food can be art, and there is art about food.

Some thing are obvious, like cake decoration, or piemaking. But even when you make a sandwich, it can be cut artfully and arranged nicely on a plate. You could use matching dishes, even if you're only feeding one child.

Aesthetics! Look for beauty, and create a bit of it.

SandraDodd.com/foodfun
photo by Jacki, Hannah's mom, long ago
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What do you call it?

This photo shows healthy, blooming native plants, layers of natural hillside, and hand-hewn cedar fence posts.


Or I could tell you that there's a state highway up above a mis-matched bunch of broken-down fence around an overgrown cemetery.

Both are true.
Which made you feel better?

Help others to see beauty and to feel abundance.

SandraDodd.com/words
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Confidence deepens

"Be present. Be engaged. Celebrate the joy of a child doing anything and everything they feel thrilled about. Notice what they're learning as they play and watch. It's all pretty amazing. Build on what you learn about your child. Confidence deepens when a child is supported in whatever they find captivating. Confidence grows for the parent when they're paying attention to what the child is learning from their chosen activities." —Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames
photo by Janine Davies

Seasons

Another year, another hemisphere, flowers now gone.

Seasons and flowers are variable, and local. Deserts and jungles, mountains and shorelines, all have special things to discover at different times of the day, and of the season, and of the year. Be still and appreciate the many peaceful moments. Store up gentle memories.

SandraDodd.com/day/ebbandflow
photo by Jihong Tang

Patterns from reflection

Barbara Handley wrote:

"Quiet time is an integral aspect of self-discovery --- apparent periods of laziness can actually be the most fruitful intellectual and spiritual discovery times. Imagine a sand art frame...first you shake it and the result is a chaotic pattern of colored sand and water; then you let it rest. The sand falls to the bottom of the frame forming intricate and beautiful patterns which would never be revealed if you continued to shake the frame. The same applies to our process of positively integrating information so that we can make sense of the world; time for reflection and contemplation is a critical part of the process, allowing the patterns to be revealed."

—Barbara Handley

Quote's source
photo by Lydia Koltai

Old and new

New things are added to old things. Antiques are repaired. New children meet old people. Forgotten toys are re-discovered. Change is part of growth, of life, of past and of future.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd

Naturally...

I grew up not far from Camel Rock, which was on US 285 near Pojoaque, where my dad worked. All of that is in north-central New Mexico.


Does it really look like a camel? Probably it helps that everyone calls it "camel rock." There was another sandstone formation north of there that my very-young sister called "camel elephant"... because it looked like an elephant's trunk to her. Words can help us see things that aren't there, confusing us and others.

The important thing is that it's not a real camel. Consider what is "natural" and what is perception, language and culture (all of which are also natural). Find joy in words and imagery, but try not to let them confound you.

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Sandra Dodd

Stretch your thinking

"There are loads of places I can go to get people to agree with the standard mode of thought. Why would I want more of that? I'm not looking for approval of what I do. I'm looking for people who will stretch my thinking and help me grow." —Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/tvchoice
photo by Holly Dodd

Holly is 25

November 2 is Holly's birthday, and in 2016 she's turning 25.
Holly grew up with two older also-unschooled brothers.
Thank you, all who have befriended
and been kind to Holly.

SandraDodd.com/holly
photo by Holly Dodd herself

Thinking and feeling

How are you thinking? How are you feeling? How you are thinking and feeling is how you are living and learning.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Marta Venturini Machado