Instead of requiring that my kids had to hold my hand in a parking lot, I would park near a cart and put some kids in right away, or tell them to hold on to the cart (a.k.a. "help me push", so a kid can be between me and the cart). And they didn't have to hold a hand. There weren't enough hands. I'd say "Hold on to something," and it might be my jacket, or the strap of the sling, or the backpack, or something.
I've seen other people's children run away from them in parking lots, and the parents yell and threaten. At that moment, going back to the mom seems the most dangerous option.
Make yourself your child's safest place in the world, and many of your old concerns will just disappear.
The Big Book of Unschooling, page 67 (71 of newer edition)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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This brought back sweet memories this morning.
ReplyDeleteBuilding sweet memories might be one of the best reasons to be gentle and kind to children!
ReplyDeleteI wrote this on the facebook page of someone who had quoted the "Just Add Light" entry above, and I thought it was worth sharing.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I would say "Hold on to something! I'm going to hold on to Marty!" so that it wasn't just a thing 'kids had to do,' but was a safety condition of crowdedness.
Now that I'm older, I still sometimes want to hold on to one of my kids when we're out, but now it's because I'm safer if they help me. Holly has held my hand crossing streets just this year, and she's 21. Marty and Kirby have helped me down stairs and off of steep curbs.
It's not just for children.