photo by Roya Dedeaux
Monday, October 14, 2024
Protect and nurture
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Sunday, October 13, 2024
Honoring needs
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrowMelissa wrote:
For children grow up, we've learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, cause babies don't keep.
I love this...I think it struck a cord with me because, earlier today my daughter asked me to play a computer game with her and I told her that I "had" to clean the kitchen first. I got halfway between the computer and the kitchen, stopped, turned around, went back, told her I was sorry that the kitchen could wait, and played her game with her. She was so happy that I didn't care if the dishes rotted in the sink! 🙂 She only played for about five minutes but, I know that it will stick with her, that I found HER more important than the housework.
photo by someone with Julie's camera; maybe James the dad
Monday, June 24, 2024
Good and sweet
Look at what looks good and sweet, and seek out more of that.
Jill quote from the bottom of a chat on "Schooling"
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
Friday, May 10, 2024
Completely engaged
Stephanie E. wrote:
It came to me the other day that Jason is more engaged then if he were doing puzzles in a book or being read to. When he plays a video game, it is a whole-body experience. I can see his mind working—he is completely engaged. He is constantly strategizing, thinking about the next step, figuring out how to solve the next level, experimenting with options. He is also very active—jumping up and down, yelling, running in to show me his latest accomplishment.
photo by Karen James
Thursday, May 2, 2024
Scattering to learn
Part of a 2004 description of our unschooling home, when three kids and their friends were here:
They come here and we’re working a puzzle or building something and they’ll get into that, too. It’s fun. We do things that are just fun. You can hardly walk by without picking it up and messing with it, too.
Sometimes, someone—my husband and one of the kids—will be doing something in one room and in the next room, some other friends are over and they are playing a video game and in another room or outside, another kid and somebody else are doing something else.
That also is the idea of the open classroom. Their ideal was not to be sitting at desks reading but to sit in a soft place, in a dark place, in a private place or wherever you wanted to, to read. So they tried to have interesting places where kids could get away from the other kids.
Sound file and transcript, of "Improving Unschooling" interview:
photo by Destiny Dodd, of Kirby Dodd and their daughter, Kirby Dodd.
Monday, October 9, 2023
Choosing to relax
If every time you start to write or say "struggle" you stop and rephrase, then you can move toward rephrasing every time you *think* "struggle." And your struggles will be over as soon as you stop struggling.
Struggling is not as good as living with choices and looking up instead of down.
Find ways to relax, rather than to struggle.
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Thursday, August 17, 2023
Think deeply; respond kindly
SandraDodd.com/seeing
photo by Cátia Maciel
Thursday, June 8, 2023
Good for a long time
And, as well as being good for unschooling, it's also good for the parents themselves, their children, family and other relationships, and generations to come!
photo by Nicole Kenyon
Tuesday, March 7, 2023
Passing real tests
Sandra Dodd, of Holly Dodd (Holly was 12 and told an older story, in 2003):
My husband's oldest brother came to visit and she and Marty discussed how to deal with his quizzy questions, usually math. She told me a story from when she was littler, maybe eight. Uncle Gerry had been here, and Holly was brushing her teeth. He stood watching her, and started in about how important it is to brush teeth and floss, because (as Holly reported, he said in a teacherly voice) "Do you know how many sets of teeth you have in this lifetime?"Update in 2021, Holly 29 years old, and Gerry having recently been in town when Holly was here, too. Holly was very helpful to her uncle, driving him to an auto parts store and helping him figure out what his plan might be to get back to Alamogordo, if his car couldn't be fixed easily. She's nearly 30 now, and he's in his mid-70s. After she left, he went on for a while about how helpful and good-hearted and wonderful she is. I appreciated hearing it, and passed it on to her later.Holly said, "Two?" (in a kind of "is this a trick question" tone) and she said he was already holding up his index finger as the "one" of the coming "right answer," and he added another finger and sheepishly said, "That's right. Two."
So Holly won a big point and never even told us about it at the time. Cool story. I don't think he quizzed them this time. It's getting to the point that they're likely to know something he doesn't know and he likes to maintain his semblance of superiority. LOL!
original (2/3 down that topic)
photo by Irene Adams (Holly's aunt; my sister)
Holly was seven in this photo, with more of her first set of teeth, casually preparing for Uncle Gerry's quiz-to-come the next year.
Friday, March 3, 2023
Please and thank you
Today's our 21st wedding anniversary.
We were together for six years before that.
We still say please and thank you, and we say it to the kids, too.
(original)
Later this month we will have our 39th anniversary.
When Keith thanks me for making a meal, I thank him for having bought the groceries. Tonight he thanked me for making a fire, and I thanked him for the firewood.
photo by Rachael Rodgers, in 2016
when we'd been married 32 years
Friday, February 17, 2023
Rich, full lives
It's helpful to keep in mind that one of the big things grandparents want is a sense of connection with their grandchildren. When kids aren't in school, that can feel awkward - what the heck do you say to a child other than "what are you doing in school?" Especially if you only see him twice a year? It can leave extended family members stymied. So it helps a whoooole lot to feed them useful information and conversation starters in the form of something grandparents usually like anyway - pictures and stories of their grandkids. Keeping a blog or sending regular notes (via facebook or plain old snail mail) goes a long way in that regard. And! they get to see their beloved grandchildren happy and adventurous, which can help to reassure them on that score.
Unschooling can come across as some kind of weird cult if you try to explain it from a theoretical side first. Start with happy kids living rich, full lives and school starts to seem less of an issue.
photo by Cátia Maciel
Monday, February 6, 2023
Giving and connecting
Being with my children, giving them in each moment all I can, learning and growing with them, changed my understanding of "service."
I have chosen to give, help and serve my children. I feel being with them has contributed towards a new understanding of the word as well as a way of building a connection with them. I can also see how it can be extended to others.
I realize how much weight a word can carry, how changes in my own feelings have lightened that weight and thrown a new light on the word itself. Service now stirs up and brings great feelings of joy.
March 2015
photo by Cátia Maciel
Friday, December 23, 2022
Two or three nice things
What if a mom does two or three nicer things a day?
What if a dad were to do two thoughtfully nice things every day for each child?
Even after I got good at making choices toward what was peaceful and fun and funny and accepting, there were, and still are, times I wish I hadn't spoken or acted before thinking of whether there was a nicer way.
If you practice, the idea of doing only two or three nice things in a day will seem like much too small a goal.
photo by Janine Davies
Sunday, December 11, 2022
Reading minds; thinking thoughts
When someone, or my cat, thinks about something I don't know anything about, the eyes, face or posture can't give me any clues, and my guesses are all wrong.
People can think thoughts, but they can't really read minds very well.
photo by Gail Higgins
Monday, November 14, 2022
Everyday things; interesting things
The only way to avoid the everyday world is to limit and control our children, to be separate from the world in ways that will keep our children from learning naturally about the things around them.
The more time parents spend with their children, doing interesting things together, the less they will worry about other things.
photo by Sophie Larcher
Saturday, November 12, 2022
Smile and create peace
(whose girls are grown now)
photo by Cátia Maciel
Wednesday, September 7, 2022
Having a good life
...we simply loved each other as we do most days. And we gave to Simon and Linnaea and we gave to each other and it was good.
I love that my sacred and my profane, my everyday and my for special occasions is one and the same. I hope all of y'all are having a good life. I hope the small things that infuse your day with joy come together and weave a tapestry of rich and royal hue.
(I left out the stories and shared the mushy parts.)
photo by Gail Higgins
Wednesday, August 31, 2022
Elation is good.
If something causes biochemical euphoria or elation, and if the goal is learning, and peace, seek that out. Pay extra for that. Clear your calendar to help your child obtain that.Virginia Warren:
To the extent that our brains are chemical computers, dopamine is the program that we experience as happiness. Seeing "getting a dopamine hit" in a negative light is literally disapproving of happiness.
photo by Karen James
Tuesday, August 16, 2022
One thing
photo by Nicole Kenyon
Wednesday, June 1, 2022
Small, simple steps
SandraDodd.com/change/ (Thoughts on Changing)Those three pages are an impressive collection of the powerful difference a deep understanding of unschooling, and its practice in a home, can make to parents as individuals.
SandraDodd.com/change.html (How Unschooling Changes People)
SandraDodd.com/gettingit (Unschooling: Getting It)
photo by Cátia Maciel