Showing posts with label lens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lens. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Moments pass

For better or for worse, this moment will pass. Be where you are, and try to accept the changes with hope and grace.

Old and New
photo by Karen James

Saturday, September 30, 2023

In a drop of water

Universe-in-a-Drop-of-Water Method:

Can one intense interest come to represent or lead to all others? A mom once complained that her son was interested in nothing but World War II. There are college professors and historians who are interested in nothing but World War II. It can become a life’s work. But even a passing interest can touch just about everything—geography, politics, the history and current events of Europe and parts of the Pacific, social history of the 20th century in the United States, military technology, tactics, recruitment and propaganda, poster art/production/distribution, advances in communications, transport of troops and food and supplies, espionage, prejudices, interment camps, segregation, patriotism, music, uniforms, insignia, religion....

from "Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers"
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Examine ideas yourself

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

If a parent has found something that works for their family without understanding why it worked and how much personality played in it, then for others it's little better than rolling dice and picking some technique at random.

On the other hand, those who are living examined lives. thinking about and discussing why something works in the context of growing relationships, that's way better than dice! And no one should swallow what's said uncritically. They should take it in, turn it over, ask questions and examine it for themselves.

Critical examination is better for reaching clear goals than pretty sentiments of "following the heart" and "mom knows best."

—Joyce Fetteroll, 2008


SandraDodd.com/joyce/followyourheart
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Breathe to Ten

Someone said one time that she counts to ten and then she's still mad so what should she do, and a couple of people said "Count slower."

Angrily holding one's breath and counting to ten in a hostile fashion isn't the "count to ten" that's recommended. Breathing to ten is way better.

Breathing can be done in an overt, hostile "I'm breathing so I won't hurt you" passive-aggressive way, too. That cancels it right out.



The quote is from an online chat, but a good link is SandraDodd.com/breathing.
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Rearview Mirrors

We have been somewhere, even as we're moving forward.

It's not good to always look back, but there is safety and comfort in reviewing what's already been seen and done. Very often, connections among the past, present and future create and enrich moments, special days, laughter and learning.

Rearview Mirror Views
photo by Renee Biggerstaff

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Clean and clear

For unschooling to work, the relationship of the parent to the child needs to become so clean and clear that the parent is being, and not just acting. This might involve physical posture, but also thoughts and feelings, reactions and clarity.

Posture (or the earlier original Posture)
photo by Nicole Kenyon

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Small, simple steps

There are people whose lives have been transformed because they wanted good relationships with their children and they took small, simple steps to get there.
SandraDodd.com/change/ (Thoughts on Changing)

SandraDodd.com/change.html (How Unschooling Changes People)

SandraDodd.com/gettingit (Unschooling: Getting It)
Those three pages are an impressive collection of the powerful difference a deep understanding of unschooling, and its practice in a home, can make to parents as individuals.

SandraDodd.com/oneonone
photo by Cátia Maciel

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Healing for parents

(When some unschooled kids found the terms "class clown" and "teacher's pet," they didn't understand the concepts.)

It can be healing for parents to think back to their own sorrows and then to their own children's freedom from those experiences. Look at what a change you have made in the world by not passing those things on! And how comforting for my own soul that my children could be helpful and funny without being pointed at and laughed at and becoming the butt of a joke.

Other unschooling parents commented, too:
SandraDodd.com/freedom/from
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Other aspects

Usually I remind people to see things directly.

Today I'm inviting people to play with light and images though, and—just for fun—to look very indirectly. Trick your eyes; trick other people's eyes, but sweetly, like little magic tricks.

There can be learning there, too. As long as those involved are having fun, good memories and connections will be made. When someone's not having fun anymore, go back to being directly there.

Reflections on Mirrors
photo by Holly Dodd

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Seeing clearly

We don't always see things clearly and directly. Two people, in the same place, will have different perceptions and reactions.

You probably know that, but a reminder might be helpful.

When you can, be patient and accepting.
SandraDodd.com/seeing
photo by Sandra Dodd

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Experience and knowing

Once someone was going on about power, and giving children power over themselves, and the power to decide what to learn.

As we had been talking about natural learning, naturally I responded:

"The power to decide what to learn" makes a pretzel of the straight line between experience and knowing.

My children don't "decide what to learn, how to learn, and when to learn it."

They learn all the time. They learn from dreams, from eating, from walking, from singing, from conversations, from watching plants grow and storms roll.

They learn from movies, books, websites, and asking questions.

They eat when they're hungry (when possible or convenient; I'm making a lunch for Holly to take to work today as she's working in the flower shop for eight or nine hours, as Mother's Day is Sunday here).

They sleep when they're tired, unless there's something they'd rather do that's worth staying awake for. They don't always "decide" when to wake up. They wake up when they're through sleeping, or when the alarm goes off if they've chosen to get up early, or when I come and wake them up if they've left me a note.

the original is here
photo by Gail Higgins

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Moment of realization

An unschooling moment of realization (one of those things that you know, but have a moment of knowing it even more):

Learning is learning whether or not it's planned or recorded or officially on the menu. Calories are calories whether or not the eating is planned or recorded or officially on the menu.
—Pam Sorooshian

Several Definitions of Unschooling
photo by Cass Kotrba
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Friday, September 17, 2021

Warmth and peace

"I'm amazed at not only the change in me but also how the little changes in our family form random, occasional pockets of warmth and peace. Hopefully, those little pockets will get larger and more frequent until we are fairly awash in it!"
an expression of appreciation for discussions
photo by Sandra Dodd
(sunlight flashing through a faceted amber-glass leaf)

Friday, September 3, 2021

What if a child says no?

This is my writing, in 2003, when my kids were 12, 14, 17 or so.


Sometimes one will say "I'm really not feeling good," as Holly did yesterday, and her need for juice, a blanket and some mom-comfort were real. She has a cold. So that was suddenly more important than her helping me get firewood, or whatever it was. I really don't remember anymore.

Nobody's ever said, "NO, I'm playing a video game, do it yourself." But they have said "When I get to a saving point."

The more we said yes to our children, the more willing they were to say yes to us. It worked like please and thank you did!

...on family life
photo by Holly Dodd

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Perspective, attitude, emotion

I love my children and think they're really important, and that it is part of my privilege to be their mom and to introduce them to the fun and interesting parts of the world, and I hold them in esteem. They are of higher value to me than other things and other people. That isn't respect they had to earn. But it's emotional and it's attitudinal, and it's relative to me.
—Sandra Dodd, in 2010
This and a bit more, near the bottom of a page on respect.
photo by Sandra Dodd (sprouts growing in my kitchen recently)

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Be light

Whether it's warm outside or cold, the sun through the window is the same.

Be light.
SandraDodd.com/mindfulness

words originally at Sunshine, November 2016
photo by Amber Ivey

Friday, January 1, 2021

Wait; think; choose

Here's an idea that will work with just about every aspect of life:
Every time you make a decision, wait until you've thought of two choices and choose the better one.

It seems simple, but I was surprised, when I thought of that way to ratchet the quality of life up, to find how many times I was acting without really thinking.
SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Holly Dodd

The text of this post has been used three times before, starting in 2011. It might be the best advice ever, though, and could be read every day. This, or one of those other three, might be worth printing out and sticking on a fridge or mirror. (The link will show all four, or someday maybe five.)

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Morning every moment


At your house it will be morning again within 24 hours, but it could be morning in your heart any second.

Somewhere in the world it is morning every moment. Somewhere, light is dawning.

When people begin homeschooling, that's a big bright morning, but you can have as many mornings as you need. If you want to change the way you're being or thinking, just do it. Don't wait for another year, another month, another day.

Good morning!

SandraDodd.com/morning
photo by Pippi Howard, of a flower in Santa Fe
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Wednesday, August 5, 2020

The joys that come

We can't control or contain the world, but we can appreciate the joys that come.

Gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd