Look for joy inside and outside of you.
SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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![]() | When you learn to give, it starts to flow, and the others around you are soft and giving and a family can generate a lot of joy! |
![]() | "As an unschooling parent, one of the most fun things to do is to share things with your child that you think they might be excited about or to do things with your child that they tell you they are excited about, just like you did with them when they were little. It keeps the enthusiasm of life and learning alive!" —Laurie Wolfrum |
LIVE
LOVE
LAUGH
LEARN
That's the best thing about unschooling, having all of those L-words bundled up into one lovely lifestyle.—Ronnie Maier
![]() | It's not easy to tell the profound from the trivial as it's happening. Sometimes the profound slips into the "not so important" category when I'm not looking. Occasionally I remember one thing or another that seemed just a little goof at the time, but ultimately, somehow, changed my life. |
![]() | The more they get, the less they need. |
Don't be the clock's mother. Don't watch the clock to see if it's time to eat. Watch your child. Or watch the clock to see if it's time to offer another snack, but don't let the clock say "not yet" or "Must EAT!"
It isn't good parenting or self control for an adult who has reproduced to be looking to a mechanical device to make decisions for her. Clocks are great for meeting people at a certain time, but they were never intended to be an oracle by which mothers would decide whether to pay attention to a child or not. Your child knows whether he's hungry. You don't. The clock doesn't either, never did, and never will.
Find something to smile about. Beginners, aim for once per day—one extra smile. More experienced unschoolers, raise that to several a day, and then once per hour. | ![]() |
"My kids think learning is what life is for. And I agree with them." —Pam Sorooshian | ![]() |
If there is one thought that will help you understand unschooling and respectful parenting it is this: The primary goal is joyful living. All other goals are secondary. |
All decent parents, of course, want their children to be happy. But they assume that sometimes happiness needs to be sacrificed to get something better. But for unschooling, peaceful parents meeting any goal must also meet the goal of living life more joyfully. | ![]() |
"Are we there yet?" (center column, halfway down)
photo by Sandra Dodd
Finding ways not to be grumpy about dishes is a good model and practice field for other choices in life. | ![]() |
The people who ask that question are looking at the world through school-colored glasses. Those same parents knew when their children could use a spoon. They knew when the child could drink out of a cup. They knew when walking and talking and bike riding had been learned. | ![]() |
![]() | If you eliminate "have to" from your thoughts, it's like driving a nice standard transmission rather than riding in the back of a crowded bus. If you see everything as a conscious choice, suddenly you are where you have chosen to be (or you have a clear path to moving toward where you would rather be). |
Who you are, no one else can be. Who you are now is not who you were before. Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow. Breathe and smile and step toward your future. | ![]() |