Showing posts with label layers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label layers. Show all posts

Monday, March 18, 2024

"Trying 'no limits'"

Someone wrote:
I see so many families trying 'no limits' and then…
I responded:
Two problems: "trying" and "no limits." If a kid knows the parent is only "trying" something, he will certainly take all he can get, desperately and in a frenzy.

"No limits" is not something any family should believe in, or promise their children The world has limits of all sorts. Parents don't need to add to that, but parents can't guarantee "no limits." They CAN give children lots of choices and options.

Gradual change would have helped.

Saying yes a thousand little times is better for everyone than one big confusing "Yes forever, don't care, OH WAIT! Take it back."

SandraDodd.com/cairns
photo by Sandra Dodd (in Albuquerque)

Monday, February 5, 2024

Be there, listening

bouncy house
Deb Lewis wrote:

Once you’re really listening to your kids and not your sense of injustice, you’ll find that answering them and interacting with them is intellectually rewarding and stimulating and fun. It’s not something you *have* to do. It’s something you *get* to do for a very little while. You can’t change this need your kids have right now. You can only change how you see it, how you think about it and meet it. And that’s good because that’s entirely in your power to do.
—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Sandra Dodd
in Northern Ireland, years ago

Thursday, November 23, 2023

Soothing soothes.

Find the light moments, and the laughter, with your child. Be as soothing as you can be, because soothing them will also soothe you.

Be sweet; be well.

Peaceful Memories
photo by Amy Milstein

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Small part of a big deal

Your own dwelling place is a small part of the whole universe. The things you have collected, and that you use, are all part of the universe.

From the point of view of your family (especially the younger members), where you live is HUGE, and detailed, and familiar, but the outside world starts off vague and hardly real.

All these perspectives make sense, depending on the moment and the context. Go with what is sweet and peaceful and feels safe and good.

SandraDodd.com/perspective
photo by Monica Molinar

Monday, August 8, 2022

Stand strong, gently

Laurie Wolfrum wrote:

Whatever you decide to say, be kind to them. Don’t criticize, belittle or shame them for making different decisions or living differently than you do. Give them the respect that you wish they’d give to you.

Something that might help in any case is to explain that –
  • Periodically we evaluate how things are going.
  • Nothing is written in stone.
  • For now, this works for us.
  • We’ll see how things go.
—Laurie Wolfrum
from a presentation on politely withstanding and deflecting criticism


SandraDodd.com/beandip
photo by Sandra Dodd

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Layers and sky

Photos with layers keep catching my eye.
Balloonists learn that there are layers in the air, where the wind is going different speeds or directions, too.

I like that there are visually attractive layers and invisible layers represented in this photo.

SandraDodd.com/spirituality
photo by Gail Higgins

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Experiments and experiences

Keith and I have enjoyed our children and the success of our experiments and experiences has been a joint project at which we were very successful. The effect of sharing something difficult, like parenting in a way that’s not universally acclaimed and supported, can be strengthening to a relationship.

We had always worked at being courteous to each other. We always said please and thank you about any “pass the salt” or “could I have a Kleenex.” It was easy, then, to model that for our children and for them to see the valuable effect of it.


Source:  20 Unschooling Questions: Sandra Dodd from NM, USA

Related:  Becoming a Better Partner
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, November 21, 2020

Shine the light

In advice to a fearful mom, Tara Joe Farrel wrote:

Unschooling advice—or deschooling oneself—does not change just because the kids get older: *Get closer to your child.*

Eliminate those degrees of separation that have started to grow fearful roots in you! When that happens, *you* actually start to *create* that divisiveness and separation in your relationship, by listening to your fear over the needs and interests of your kid. Do not let that monster in! Shine the light on the scary cobwebs and dark stuff.

—Tara Joe Farrell
Shining light on it
photo by Karen James
(click to enlarge)

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Friday, November 13, 2020

Let it fade

Every day he's away from school, negative effects will fade.

But just as with any scab, scratching it and rubbing dirt in it isn't as good as letting it heal. So when school is no longer a part of the child's life, it's good to turn away from the school and let it fade into the distant past. Repeating and reciting and retelling the school problem keeps it alive and present.

SandraDodd.com/school/ has the quote. The original is here.
I made one small change, up above.
photo by Renee Cabatic
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Sunday, October 25, 2020

A solitary tree

The words and photo below are by Karen James. I would not have been able to find or write anything better to go with this beautiful photo than Karen's description of it on September 16.
The air was clear today, so the three of us went for a walk at one of our favourite spots. The guys walked ahead, while I meandered behind, finding things to photograph.

Whenever we walk at this particular place, I always look for this tree. It's alone at the top of a cliff, at the curve of the path that winds us eventually back to where we started.

I love its solitary presence.

I love its asymmetry, shaped, in part, by the strong winds coming off the ocean.

I love that it stands at a fork, with one path bending softly toward a return, and one leading to the edge of the cliff.

I love that I can see Ethan climbing and resting in it in my memory.

Today, I loved its hard shadows and blue backdrop because that meant the smoke had parted, at least for now. It looks beautiful in the mist too. It's a beautiful tree.

More by Karen James (photo, words, or both)
photo by Karen James

Monday, August 3, 2020

Unschooling Discussion 2020



New discussion, on Facebook, as of August 1
Unschooling Discussion 2020
[Still there as an archive. —Sandra, 2021]


photo by Sandra Dodd

Friday, October 12, 2018

Sunrays and angles


Remember that different people see things differently, maybe because they're younger, or shorter, or more interested in the mountains than in the sunray. Maybe someone is thinking of song lyrics and will miss a joke. Being near running water can keep someone from hearing a question.

It's likely that more things are happening and being noticed than the parents saw or planned.

Do the peaceful, generous things when you can.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Lisa J Haugen
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Saturday, June 23, 2018

One layer, and another....

Like layers of an onion someone can understand unschooling, and be calm, and then discover... Oh! I could extend these principles to my spouse.

For people with young children, it will be about just the surface of an onion. Maybe that's the concreteness of it. "How can you recognize an onion when you see one?"



Text is a smoothed-out quote from Becoming an Unschooler
photo by Ester Siroky

Friday, January 19, 2018

Resting

Rests can be short or long.

Resting isn't always sleeping.

Sleeping doesn't always last long.
SandraDodd.com/sleep/outside
SandraDodd.com/peace/
photo by Cátia Maciel
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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Sun and water


Something we have in common with our most ancient ancestors, and our most distant cousins, is our need for water and sunlight.

For fun (and for learning, but don't think so much about that part), maybe let that be the theme of your thoughts and connections for an hour, or a day. Wheat and trees, birds and bugs, ice and steam, waterfalls and deserts, all can be considered and compared.

Some things must be wet, so it's a good thing there's water. Others need to stay dry, and the sun helps with that.

Make a happy game of exploring ideas.


SandraDodd.com/water
photo by Janine Davies
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Monday, December 18, 2017

Layers


Many things have lots of layers.

"In-depth knowledge" is about knowing more than just the surface of an idea.

SandraDodd.com/becoming
photo by Sandra Dodd (up above the front door of my house, one day)
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Friday, November 24, 2017

Conditions


Conditions change for many reasons. Comfort levels vary.

Even one small improvement can positively affect a moment, a mood, a person, a family.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Karen James
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Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Holly is 25

November 2 is Holly's birthday, and in 2016 she's turning 25.
Holly grew up with two older also-unschooled brothers.
Thank you, all who have befriended
and been kind to Holly.

SandraDodd.com/holly
photo by Holly Dodd herself

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Bright clouds

Mix it up, with words and ideas. Be happily surprised.



SandraDodd.com/surprise/
photo by Robert Gottlieb
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Thursday, July 14, 2016

Quantity and quality

Here's an idea that will work with just about every aspect of life:
Every time you make a decision, wait until you've thought of two choices and choose the better one.


It seems simple, but I was surprised, when I thought of that way to ratchet the quality of life up, to find how many times I was acting without really thinking.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Sandra Dodd
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