Since my kids were little they could have all the Halloween candy they wanted, and since they were little that has
We were confident that it was control, not access, that made kids eat, do and want "too much" before we ever considered unschooling. Others come to the idea the other way around—unschooling first and releasing other control-urges later. |
He thought for no more than a second, and then very excitedly told me:
"Mom, Frankenstein is not evil. People just think he's evil but he's not - he's just trying to be good even though he's failing. Even though I haven't read the book or saw the movie if they make one, I know that pretty much from Scooby Doo. So we have nothing to worry about with the hurricane if now it's Frankenstorm because Frankenstein is good. If we were supposed to be scared, then they should have picked a better name!"
Many, many times in my daily life with my son, I am reminded that there is value in so very many things—be those things Scooby Doo or Pokemon or Star Wars or Harry Potter or 1,000 other "easy to criticize" forms of media or entertainment. Life is so much more fun when you look to the happy parts, look for the good, and keep an open mind.
Scooby-Doo, Frankenstein, and a Big Storm
photo by Sandra Dodd
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| It is possible that a child who reads at the age of three will be tired of reading by the age of ten. It is possible that a child who first really reads at the age of ten will become a professor of literature and a great author. |  |
| "Having parents who nurture optimism, hopefulness, and contentment gives children an extraordinary advantage in life."
—Rippy Dusseldorp |  |
 | Unschooling is creating and maintaining an environment in which natural learning can thrive. The environment isn't just the physical home. It's the relationships within the family, and their exploration of the world outside the home. The emotional environment is crucial. |
| See all that is good about your child. |  |
| "Look for ways to connect with them. There are biological ways. Smelling their heads is amazingly connective. "Sometimes it's hard, just staying still, just watching, just being with babies. But it won't be long..." —Schuyler Waynforth |  |
And now I have three children who are 10, 13 and 15.
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Ten years and some later, Holly's about to turn 21, Kirby has done his taxes for years, and all three have taken math classes as young adults, for fun.
 | Knowing what's good about other people doesn't need to diminish your own self confidence. It will increase it, I think, to realize that you are surrounded by others who have skills and talents you might have need of. |
 | "When you only allow a limited amount of TV, then the marginal utility of a little more tv is high and every other option looks like a poor one, comparatively. Watching more TV becomes the focus of the person's thinking, since the marginal utility is so high. Relax the constraints and, after a period of adjustment and experimentation to determine accurate marginal utilities, the focus on TV will disappear and it will become just another option." —Pam Sorooshian
from "Economics of Restricting TV Watching of Children" |
 | We have days full of togetherness, and a life full of peace. We live in a world full of ideas, and each has a mind full of possibilities. |
| Fear and food should not be served on the same plate. |  |
If you don't decide, or if you don't think of it many times a day when you make small choices, and decide how to act and react, then things won't get better.
Not every step will be forward, but if most of them are, then you'll make progress.
 | "The more you look for bounty the more you will find it." —Schuyler Waynforth |
 | Because you become a better partner, that partnership works better. |
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It doesn’t take ten years of practice for a kid to learn how to show up on time, and if they’re interested in doing something, they’ll probably get up early! All my children and very many more I’ve known have excelled in structured situations because they were there by choice and they weren’t sick to death of structure. They thought it was fun, when it was their option to be there or not.
(I lifted the title from an Elvis song; if you want to hear it, here y'go, and here's some history: Don't be Cruel.)
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| "I remember Sandra writing recently that if kids are interested, they're learning. I repeat that to myself, almost as a mantra. And I no longer worry that all they want to do is play." —Genevieve Raymond |  |
| When learning to read happens naturally, it doesn't look like school's reading lessons. It doesn't take years. It might take only days, but the tricky part is when those days will come. If you plant watermelons, picking at the leaves and threatening the vine will not get you a watermelon before one was going to naturally grow and mature. It's the same with children. |  |
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"The idea of Unschooling is for parents to be the facilitators of options, the openers of doors, the creators of environments of freedom, and the guardians of choice,
—Robyn Coburn |
| With anything, if a family moves from rules (about food, freedoms, clocks, what to wear) to something new there's going to be the backlash, and thinking of catapults (or trebuchets, more technically, or of a rubber band airplane, or other crank-it-up projectile vs ...) the more pressure that's built up, the further that kid is going to launch if you let it go all at once. |  |
"Unschooling happily and successfully requires clear thinking. I don't think it works as well when people just look at those with young adult kids who are happy and successful and try to copy them without doing the hard thinking and building their own clear understanding of unschooling. When they try to emulate, they are still following rules—unschooling rules. Unschoolers always say yes to everything. Unschoolers never make their kids do anything. Kids always decide everything for themselves. And so on. But those "rules" are not unschooling. Unschooling well requires understanding the underlying philosophy of how children learn, and the principles that guide us in our everyday lives arise from that philosophy. It isn't some new kind of parenting technique that can be observed and applied without understanding."
To help you prepare for or strengthen your own heroic adventure, there are three tools you need, and a checklist of seven nest-building items for you to collect and protect.
Equip yourself with:
confidenceBuild your nest with
experience
good examples
food
patience
shelter
enthusiasm
love
curiosity
joy
On September 2, this blog was two years old. I offered gifts in exchange for donations to cover some expenses (not for this blog, but for SandraDodd.com and the series of Always Learning Live events). I had 37 people/families contribute. All the cards, certificates and packages have been mailed. Thank you all!
I also requested title art for webpages, and nine people (from five families) sent various types of things made of Lego; hiking finds and forest bits; photo; paint; pen; and pen-and-computer art. The collection is *here*, and you can follow links to that art in use on the pages for which it was created.
That was all pretty fun and I'll probably do it again next September.
The other matter for which I am grateful is that my youngest of three, Holly Dodd, will turn 21 on November 2, 2011. My three children have grown to adulthood. I know that not all parents are as fortunate, and I know many things could have gone differently. We can't control or contain the world, but we can appreciate the joys that come.
| I have been as solicitous of my children and their needs and feelings as I could be, and in turn they have grown into generous, kind adults. |  |
 | Michelangelo said that to carve his statue of David, he just chipped away everything that didn't look like David. Or maybe he didn't say that. But clearly that's what he ultimately did. Here will be ideas to help you chip away what doesn't look like unschooling. It's not as difficult as you might think. |
