Sensible and sensitive

Exploring the world (including food) needs to be done in a supported and supportive way, in an open and non-fearful way, in a sensible and sensitive way.

SandraDodd.com/foodreligion
photo by Sandra Dodd

Affecting emotions

Choosing to relax

I know the word "struggle" is as popular as "groovy" was in 1967, but it's not nearly as groovy.

If every time you start to write or say "struggle" you stop and rephrase, then you can move toward rephrasing every time you *think* "struggle." And your struggles will be over as soon as you stop struggling.

Struggling is not as good as living with choices and looking up instead of down.

Find ways to relax, rather than to struggle.

SandraDodd.com/struggle
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Distraction

I thought of an analogy for distraction of someone of any age, and anyone who has had a baby should remember this. If you have a baby and you don't know this trick, here is a Big Gift:

If a baby is holding something dangerous or breakable and you want him to drop it, hold out something more interesting. He will drop what he has, to reach for the new thing.

And that is how distraction can work.

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I don't have a page on distraction, but the original is on facebook and I got back to that 2017 writing from a link at SandraDodd.com/depression.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Choices add up

Small moments of peace and calm can add up to contentment. Gratitude and acceptance contribute to satisfaction. Having a warm home isn't an absolute, and it's not magic. It's the accumulation of positive choices that create a nest for humans (and their significant animal others).

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Roya Dedeaux

A peaceful day

I think it's harmful to stir up outrage in and among parents of young children. It's okay for unschooled children to have a peaceful day even though there are others outraged elsewhere.

Outrage is not a virtue. Donald Duck should not be your role model.

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Later note: In a larger context, peace shouldn't be limited to only unschooled children. And it shouldn't be limited to children.

SandraDodd.com/peace
photo by Kirby Dodd

Kind and safe

Parents get pretty good at noticing when a child is tired, hungry or frustrated. It's important to see those things in yourself. Keep your family safe from your more dangerous moods and states. If you're too hungry or too tired to be kind and safe, ask for help. Or admit you're feeling stressed, and be more careful. Don't use your mood as an excuse to be harsh or dangerous. Learn to do what you need to do to stay in a workable, safe zone.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Destiny Dodd

See, hear, smell, touch and taste!

When babies are carried they see more, they hear and smell more. If they are given things to touch and taste besides just a few baby toys left in the corner of a crib or playpen, they will learn by leaps and bounds. They will spend less time crying and more time being in the real world.

The parents will know the child better, and the child will know the parents better. They will be building a partnership based on trust.

SandraDodd.com/infants
photo by Roya Dedeaux
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Principles over rules

If people are living by rules, it's nearly impossible to tell what it would look like to live by principles.

Once one is living by principles, it's nearly impossible to make a move that's contrary to those principles. It doesn't happen overnight, but it's much different than just changing from one set of rules to another.

from an Unschooling Discussion post at googlegroups, November 2007
photo by Holly Dodd, of Lily Y., at a symposium
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Learning easily

Having the idea that "learning is difficult" in general could be a barrier to unschooling with joy.

—Robyn Coburn

Talking to Babies
photo by Roya Dedeaux
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Hopefulness, good and true

Probably [doubters and critics] are sincerely concerned for your children, so try to be grateful for that, or at least to understand it.
. . . .
The nicest thing to say might be "Thanks, I'll think about it." If they say he might need some type of school, you could say yeah, someday he might. I liked to tell people that things were going well, but if that changed we would do something different. That gave them hope, and that was good for all of us. And it was true.

What Can I Say to Doubters and Critics?
photo by Gail Higgins
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Being gentle

What do babies want? They want to learn. They learn by touching and tasting and watching and listening. They learn to be gentle by people being gentle with them...

Infants
photo by Roya Dedeaux
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Needs all met!

I often think back to the things I learned in La Leche League, from readings and other moms. If you nurse a child a long time does it make him dependent on the mom? Seems to be the opposite. If you hug a child every time he wants a hug, does it make him want a hug-a-day for life? You WISH!

The more they get, the less they need.

Quote from a very-early online chat for homeschoolers,
late 1995 or early 1996, SandraDodd.com/detox
photo by Elaine Santana
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Nicer and more considerate

Being nicer makes one a nicer person.

Being nicer,
more considerate,
makes one a more considerate person.

Being nicer,
more compassionate,
makes one a more compassionate person.

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Marta saved this. I don't know where I wrote it. Thank you, Marta (and others), for saving some of my scraps over the years so I can see them again, and share them.

Being nicer
photo by Destiny Dodd
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Smell your child's hair

Smell your child's hair. They say dogs can smell fear, but moms can smell love, or something, when they smell the top of a young child's head. Something biochemical happens, and something intellectual can happen.

A Loud Peaceful Home

Smell your Child's Head

Time Out

Time out, please. I have tried to keep up here as though everything is normal, but I've missed a couple of days, and had more re-runs than usual. Tonight I'm too tired, but will share two things. #1 is this photo of me and baby Kirby Athena, taken by her dad yesterday; and #2, that her only grandpa, who is also my husband, has been in intensive care for two weeks. Today he's better than he has been, but it has not been steady improvement over the two weeks.

I might miss a few more posts in the coming days, or share more of the "greatest hits" or special forgotten posts from the past eight-and-a-half years.

Be happy with your families, please! Be grateful for all good things.

photo by Kirby Dodd, the Elder

Something changes everything

"I'd never heard a baby's first laugh. Hearing the sound of that laugh and seeing the joy in my boy's being opened up my whole world at that moment. I remember the room getting brighter, lighter, softer."

—Karen James

You will want to read the rest, I think:SandraDodd.com/karenjames/#ethan
photo by Karen James
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Soft and gentle

Be soft and gentle

Helping a child learn to hold a kitten or a puppy isn't always easy, but modeling how to do it gently and softly helps. Parents can remember those factors when touching babies and children, too. Is he comfortable? Is he safe?

Someone who can gently handle a puppy, and a baby, might remember those things when dealing with another adult.


SandraDodd.com/better partner
photo by Rose Sorooshian
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Conscious and continuous

Have a conscious, continuous and mindful partnership with your child.


Partnerships and Teams in the Family
photo by Cátia Maciel
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Sit still

On bonding with babies:

"Sit still with them. And when they are still, sit still with yourself. Don't use so many moments of the day to do anything."

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/bonding
photo of Sandra and Holly Dodd
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