photo by Sandra Dodd
Showing posts with label headgear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label headgear. Show all posts
Monday, January 6, 2025
Experiencing direct learning
photo by Sandra Dodd
Friday, December 27, 2024
People, growing as people
We continue to come to this life bit by bit as well. I think for us it is an extension of attachment parenting philosophy, about what we believe about children and childhood and about our children as PEOPLE, not them as little beings who fall short and need to be prepped for adulthood while totally ignoring or negating the living and learning they are doing TODAY....
I love how the whole philosophy (not just the "academic" aspect) has made ME grow as a mom and person, and I hate to think where our family would be had we not come across it. Yes, I have had my bad days and doubts, but certainly I would not be as happy as I am now.
—Tina B/canuckgal
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Tuesday, December 3, 2024
"Permissive"?
How do you feel about the word "permissive" to describe unschooling and the lifestyle surrounding it? (I'm hearing this word a lot when trying to explain unschooling to family and friends...)My response was:
"Permissive" is a term of insult used by and among people who feel the right and duty to control.
It was used by aristocrats of other aristocrats who were not reigning in their servants to the point that was recommended to keep them in line.
It's used by strict teachers who demand silence and obedience in the classroom, of other teachers who actually engage in dialog with their students, and unscripted dialog at that, which could lead anywhere, instead of just leading to the correct answers in the book, and preparing people for the test.
Don't look as "permissiveness" as though it exists in nature. See it as the pejorative term it is, and see the beliefs of the only people who can use it: controlling people trying to make others be as controlling as they are.
There are some other ideas, too, at the link below, but I think the most valuable idea is to see choices rather than rules you're "permitting" people to ignore.
photo by Janine Davies
There was an improper word choice I've kept. A typo, more like. "Reigning" should've been "reining," but in the context in which I wrote it, long ago, I see why the error came and it makes some sense there. 🙂
Tuesday, November 26, 2024
Affecting emotions
Can you affect your child's emotions? Yes. Everything you do, while you have an infant or young child, will affect that child's emotions.
Can you control your own emotions? Not entirely.
Can you affect your own emotions? Absolutely.
photo by Paul Collins
of Sandra and Holly Dodd
(as Ælflæd and Asta)
Saturday, November 16, 2024
New chances, all day
A couple of months ago, my four-year-old and I had been wrangling all day—we just couldn't get into each other's groove. He was fussy, I was impatient, he was whiny, I was cranky. We were struggling and struggling. Finally, it was time to cook dinner, which he always likes to help with. I got out whatever ingredients I needed, and he pulled his stool over to the kitchen counter, and we started measuring and stirring and slicing. I was standing half behind him, and he suddenly leaned his head back against my chest and said, "We're having a good day, aren't we? I like cooking with you. We're having fun. We always have fun." It transformed the whole day for me to hear that he was experiencing it so differently—or that that moment of cooking together had redeemed the whole rotten thing.
You've talked before, Sandra, about this idea of thinking about moments instead of days and it has maybe not changed my life but it has changed a lot of my days. I used to decide by, say, 11 a.m. that we were having a "rough day." Anybody ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Now, no matter how rough the moment gets, I remind myself that the next moment is a whole new chance at something good. And it's amazing how often magic comes two minutes after I was thinking I was going to have to chuck the whole thing and go back to bed.
—Su Penn
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild
Saturday, November 9, 2024
Reading odyssey
Though Holly wasn't reading, her vocabulary was sophisticated and she was fascinated by the history of and connectedness of words. When she did start to read, she had no reason to use easy books. She was still eleven when she did her first real reading, a Judy Blume novel. She read two of those, and moved on to Stephen King's novella The Body.
When she had only been reading a couple of months, we were sitting down to watch "The Twilight Zone,” Holly reached over to move the Tank Girl comic books she had been reading. One was called "The Odyssey." Then the DVD menu came up, and one of the episodes was "The Odyssey of Flight 33." She commented on it, and I said "You saw the word 'odyssey' twice in an hour? Cool!"
She said, "I saw the word 'odyssey' twice in one minute!"
photo by Sandra Dodd (click it)
___
Saturday, November 2, 2024
Learning by looking, doing, exploring
It's good to know that it's not necessary to totally understand everything you read (or listen to) the first time through. I think that's one of the misconceptions people get from school's "read it and answer the questions" format. It's okay to skim through something the first time and just get a general idea, then, if you're still interested, go back and read for more detail later - maybe after reading or hearing something else, first, that clarifies those details.
But that's learning in the sense of "taking in information" - and learning is more than that. Learning also comes from doing things, exploring objects and processes, places and ideas. Much as I like storing up facts like a magpie, I do most of my learning by taking things apart and putting them back together. If I have a question, I'm as likely to look for person to show me what I need as I am to look for a book. I *can* figure things out from books, but often I can learn the same thing more effectively by watching someone else.
—Meredith
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Friday, November 1, 2024
One of those people
So see how it's going at your house. Tweak it. Move more toward a good relationship. Move toward being more present, and then you start to understand. Then you start to be one of the people who's saying, "I tried this, and this was the result I got: my kids seem to be getting along better. My kids seem to be interested in more things. They're curious. They're conversational. They can deal with younger people, and older people."
photo by Alex Polikowsky,
of a girl who is now off at university
Wednesday, August 28, 2024
Your child is not you
"Your child is not you"—that one stopped me cold, way back, when I was resisting, thinking it All sounded odd and crazy. It was a gigantic "well duh" moment in the best way. It was so obvious! And yet I was using my adult needs and fears waaaaay too much to make decisions about what my kids "needed" or "needed to learn".—Meredith
photo by Cátia Maciel
Friday, August 16, 2024
Adventure, peace and security
I hope that those who are new to this will read everything here with an open heart and mind; do not pass judgement without thinking about WHY you feel the way you do about something said here. I am so very, very thankful that I listened and thought and read and read and read and thought and listened. My whole family has been set free!! Thank you!
—Donna / ladybugmom
photo by Rosie Moon
Something looks like this:
headgear,
instrument,
lens
Wednesday, August 7, 2024
Happy and alert
On the first day being with us, my aunt said, "Don't you two ever put that baby down?" On the third day, she said, "That's the happiest, most alert baby I've ever seen!"
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Tuesday, July 30, 2024
Natural instinct and sensible logic
Allow children to reject food they don’t like, or that doesn’t smell like something they should eat, or doesn’t look good to them. Don’t extinguish a child’s instincts because you-the-parent seem sure that you know more, know facts, know rules.
. . . . Instead of looking for exceptions to knock my ideas away with, read a little (of this or anything else), try a little (try not forcing food OR “knowledge” into children), wait a while (and while you’re waiting, ponder the nature of “fact”) and watch for the effects of the read/try/wait process, on your own thinking, or on the child’s reactions and responses, or on the relationship.
Reading science; food, and instinct
information on a situation in which
Twinkies are better food than alfalfa sprouts,
and when lettuce might be very dangerous
Read a little, try a little,
wait a while, watch.
Photo by Sandra Dodd of bell peppers (which I don't much like) stuffed with things lots of other people don't like or can't eat. I didn't do it on purpose, the recipe was just all beef, onion, garlic, tomatoes, mushrooms, pine nuts...
information on a situation in which
Twinkies are better food than alfalfa sprouts,
and when lettuce might be very dangerous
Read a little, try a little,
wait a while, watch.
Photo by Sandra Dodd of bell peppers (which I don't much like) stuffed with things lots of other people don't like or can't eat. I didn't do it on purpose, the recipe was just all beef, onion, garlic, tomatoes, mushrooms, pine nuts...
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Ideas, terminology, and attitudes
If someone really does want to unschool, it's going to take looking at her own ideas, terminology, and attitudes really closely, to weed out that "what will screw it up" set.
The original quote is here:
Archive: "...on TV & junk food"
photo by Cátia Maciel
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Gentle changes
A gentler touch with ourselves, and others, is the best way for genuine improvement.
You can’t yell at a cat and make it come to you. Same with real change.
—Angela, in response to the post
"Be sweet and soft"
photo by Debra Heller Bures
Tuesday, March 5, 2024
More peaceful and fun
Debbie Harper wrote:
When the environment is contributing to a child's anxiety, improve the environment, rather than seeking to improve the child.
If you make your home-life more peaceful and fun, anxiety will lessen without any need to venture away from unschooling into the land of rewards and punishments.
Working to make the home more peaceful and happy has helped lots of families heal, and flourish with unschooling.
—Debbie Harper
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Saturday, July 29, 2023
When choices come easily
SandraDodd.com/control
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Friday, July 7, 2023
Being a child's friend
Pam Sorooshian, on being a child's friend:
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your child's friend. Do what it takes to earn their friendship—be supportive and kind and honest and trustworthy and caring and generous and loyal and fun and interesting and interested in them and all the other things that good friends are to each other. Be the best 40 year old friend you can be (or whatever age you are).
People use "I'm the parent, not a friend," as an excuse to be mean, selfish, and lazy. Instead, be the adult in the friendship. Be mature. You've BEEN a five-year-old and your child has not been a forty-year-old, so you have an advantage in terms of long-term and wider perspective. Use that advantage to be an even better friend. You know how to be kinder and less self-centered and you know how beneficial it is to put forth the effort.
SandraDodd.com/friend
photo by Sandra Dodd, of six-year-old Adam and his mother and friend, Julie
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your child's friend. Do what it takes to earn their friendship—be supportive and kind and honest and trustworthy and caring and generous and loyal and fun and interesting and interested in them and all the other things that good friends are to each other. Be the best 40 year old friend you can be (or whatever age you are).
People use "I'm the parent, not a friend," as an excuse to be mean, selfish, and lazy. Instead, be the adult in the friendship. Be mature. You've BEEN a five-year-old and your child has not been a forty-year-old, so you have an advantage in terms of long-term and wider perspective. Use that advantage to be an even better friend. You know how to be kinder and less self-centered and you know how beneficial it is to put forth the effort.
—Pam Sorooshian
photo by Sandra Dodd, of six-year-old Adam and his mother and friend, Julie
Thursday, June 22, 2023
We have fun.
Gwen (willow_selene) wrote:
When Megan was between two and three she would pick an avocado at the beginning of most shopping trips. Then she'd hold onto it while she rode in the cart. She called it "her baby" and she would talk to it while we shopped. She didn't eat avocados then (still doesn't). We'd buy it at the end of the trip and DH would eat it later.
At Trader Joe's they hide a stuffed monkey for the kids to find. If the kids tell the cashier they've found the monkey, the cashier will ring a bell and make an "arggh!" sound. Then the child can go pick treat out of a box. Megan always finds the monkey, but doesn't always want the treat. She just likes to find the monkey.
If a display is disordered or packages that are supposed to be hanging aren't, both Megan and Zoe will stop and straighten it up.
I love shopping with my kids. We have fun.
—Gwen
photo by Gwen (willow_selene)
Thursday, June 15, 2023
Beautiful right now
One beautiful aspect of radical unschooling is truly living today with our children, right now. Seeing them as they are in this moment, valuing what they are interested in today, right now.
—Natasha Allan
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Real life science
While I'm a big fan of science and have a sciency degree, in terms of helping children I trust the real life experiences of unschoolers far more than I trust scientific studies done on (schooled) children (often with an eye towards getting kids to perform better in school!)
Offering a fear over experience as the basis of decision making isn't going to be helpful to unschooling.
—Joyce Fettroll
photo by Nicole Kenyon
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