If they are asking for help, they need help. It's not because they are too lazy. It's because the process doesn't come easily to them yet (nor has it been made something to look forward to) and it's not worth the effort for what they want out of it. By insisting they look things up themselves, you are saying — from their point of view — "Looking things up is for kids"; "Yes, I know the answer but I'm not giving it to you. Go get your own answer"; "Looking things up isn't a fun thing or I would help you do it."
If you asked your husband for something in his area of expertise, what would make you feel better about asking again: "There's the book. You're perfectly capable of looking that up," or him happily explaining the answer to you, perhaps showing you things in books and letting his eagerness infect you?
—Joyce Fetteroll
photo by Cátia Maciel
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