Showing posts sorted by relevance for query waynforth. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query waynforth. Sort by date Show all posts

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Joyous moments


Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Right now, in front of the television, there are a slew of origami papers and markers and paper dolls and other bits and bobs from Linnaea crafting one or another thing. As I peer closer I can see a bird she made and drawings she's drawn and planes she designed as toys for the kittens. I will probably go over and tidy it up in a little bit, to keep the pieces safer from folks walking around and to make sure that there isn't food for the ants.

It takes only a moment to turn what you describe as rubble into a series of activities, of joyous moments. They are still-lifes waiting to be interpreted. I can see the shadow of her sitting there and doing and making and talking and turning to Simon to show him or running to fly the plane she made in the hallway to see if it would fly well enough to engage whichever kitten it was designed to amuse, or calling to me to come and interpret whichever fold the origami book was describing onto the paper she was folding.

It isn't rubble, it is her life.

—Schuyler Waynforth


The writing was saved and commented on by Renee Cabatic. An exchange between Renee and Schuyler is here:
Life is Good and the amazing Schuyler Waynforth
photo by Cátia Maciel

(I'm sorry not to have a photo of the original origami birds and planes, but I found some other kid-engineering evidence.)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I cannot begin to express my joy

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

We have chosen to listen to our children, to pay attention to their needs and their wants instead of telling them that they must conform to our needs and our wants.



It means that for me if Simon (my 8 year old son) asks me to help him play Tales of Symphonia on the gamecube and I happen to be doing the dishes I may ask that he wait the 10 minutes or more likely than not I may just let the dishes soak and come and play with him. The dishes will be easier to clean when I empty the sink and refill it with warm water and I will have gotten to spend an hour with my son talking and exploring and playing and continuing to forge a relationship that makes me so happy I cannot begin to express my joy.

SandraDodd.com/schuyler/rant
That was from an unusual (for Schuyler) rant in 2007.

Here are some newer words from this ever-thoughtful unschooling mom:
Schuyler Waynforth Interview

photo by Sandra Dodd, of Schuyler's cat in 2009
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Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Service as a gift

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

It's amazing to see doing for others as a gift. It takes the whole angst about servitude away

There isn't any servitude in it when it's a gift.

—Schuyler Waynforth
SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Amber Ivey
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Friday, June 28, 2013

Easier and less needy


Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Being proactive will work better, more effectively and leave him less needy.
. . . .
"It takes time and a greater focus at the beginning. It takes letting go, a lot, of your needs for down time or personal time or time to sit and chat with other people. But the more you do work to partner with your son, to help him before he needs help, to be with him more, the easier it will get and the less needy the relationship will feel.
—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/partners
photo by Dylan Lewis
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Saturday, April 11, 2020

Quitters sometimes win!


Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Maybe you can see how quitting what you don't want to do is a good thing.

I've quit lots of things, jobs, relationships, books, drugs, cigarettes, lots of things that weren't helpful, that weren't good for my life. Quitting them made room for other things. It also helped me to think about what I wanted to do. Some of the things I quit I went back to like photography or knitting, I quit knitting regularly. Others I've not yet returned to like smoking or working at a plastics factory.
Thoughts about finishing what you start
photo by Gail Higgins
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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Piece of cake


In April 2011, Schuyler wrote this, about a mom feeling underappreciated in her marriage:

What makes you feel good? I like a root beer float and a chip butty when I'm feeling particularly low. It doesn't make anything external better, but it does help a lot with my internals. Stock your cupboards with things that bring you pleasure, fix meals that make you happy, play games that you enjoy. Smile, laugh, swing, skip, dance, listen to music and play. Sometimes it may feel contrived, but try not to dwell on that, try and move it forward to not being contrived, like laugh therapy.

When your husband feels bad, bring him something nice, a piece of cake, a hug, a gentle touch, a thank you for something. Don't see his low point as something that you have to compete with for attention. And don't see it as a personal attack. Just see it as an unhappy moment, a point of stress, a need to express something to a safe ear.

It isn't self-sacrifice to work for your team. It's teamwork.

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/negativity
More by Schuyler Waynforth
photo by Holly Dodd

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Time and attention

painting of a sort of sunburst, with the word 'yes'
Schuyler Waynforth said, in a presentation in Australia:

When I stumbled across unschooling I grabbed hold.
. . .
The more I read and the more I experienced and the more I tried, the more that I could see a framework. It was my engagement that made a difference. It was my time and my attention and my focus that kept things moving better and more smoothly than it could ever have done without me.
—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/nest
art and photo by Holly Blossom

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Slowly amazing

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

It is amazing that the epiphanies seem to come so frequently in this life. The other day I was baking a cake and David got back from the grocery store and had to deal with the leaking coolant on the car and needed help putting the groceries away. I was up to my elbows in batter and asked Simon and Linnaea if they could help.


They both came in and put all the groceries away and went back to what they were doing. It was so sweet, so not coercive, so not eye-rolling. Just this generous gift of service. It came with an epiphany, an underscoring of these unschooling side effects that I see and read about from other people.

As you say, the proof is in the living! The rightness, the evidence, the closeness, the joy, those are all found in this life. You can read about them, but to experience them you have to get down on your hands and knees and play and hang out and tell stories and cuddle and talk and share and be willing to listen and to apologize and to work to make it better. And if you can do that without any other intention than enjoying being with them, without any ulterior motives, it plays out in ways that nothing else that I've ever seen does.
—Schuyler Waynforth


SandraDodd.com/confidence
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Thursday, September 10, 2020

Exploring, playing, relationships

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

We have chosen to listen to our children, to pay attention to their needs and their wants instead of telling them that they must conform to our needs and our wants.



It means that for me if Simon (my 8 year old son) asks me to help him play Tales of Symphonia on the gamecube and I happen to be doing the dishes I may ask that he wait the 10 minutes or more likely than not I may just let the dishes soak and come and play with him. The dishes will be easier to clean when I empty the sink and refill it with warm water and I will have gotten to spend an hour with my son talking and exploring and playing and continuing to forge a relationship that makes me so happy I cannot begin to express my joy.

SandraDodd.com/schuyler/rant
That was from an unusual (for Schuyler) rant in 2007.

Here are some newer words from this ever-thoughtful unschooling mom:
Schuyler Waynforth Interview

photo by Sandra Dodd, of Schuyler's cat in 2009
__

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Art and Perspective

Usually the perspective people talk about with art has to do with angles and using size and color to show distance. This is about the moment, and the surroundings, and the contrast. As happens sometimes with the photos of tourists and amateurs, I did not plan this lighting and drama. I only saw it later, in the photo.



Just seconds later, the same angel, different angle, there are modern details the angel sees every day, plus Linnaea Waynforth, and across on the other wall, art by children.



This was in a church in Bunwell, in Norfolk, one town over from where Schuyler Waynforth lives. We were there to hear bell ringers practice, on a summer day in 2009.

That angel is still there, but I'm in Albuquerque at a table with a tessalations puzzle out, sitting in a wooden chair constructed without nails or screws—all mortise, tenon and peg. I have three I got at a flea market, and the ratty table that came with them. They were made in New Mexico, probably in the 1940's. They're not fancy, but they are art, and history. There's a rice bowl near me, left over from my dinner. I don't know where it was made, or by whom. There are no markings. My husband got it at a thrift store in Minnesota.

Art is where you are.

Those photos can be enlarged with a click.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

What makes unschooling better?

"Unschooling has only changed with my growing ability to implement it."
—Schuyler Waynforth

long arm puppets, in a shop

from "Four Continents": Schuyler Waynforth, interviewed by Sandra Dodd
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Little things and little moments

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Most days I stop long before the switch goes. The thoughtful process was recognizing the grumpiness earlier in the day. Feeling a shortness that isn't normally there and doing things to respond to that like going for a quick breath outside or having a chocolate milk or a chai latte or something else that just ups my energy budget a bit. Taking five minutes to close my eyes and be still helps, too. Whatever works for you to buffer yourself is good. Come up with lots of little things. With an almost-four-year-old, little things and little moments are what you are most likely going to get.

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/parentingpeacefully
switchplate and photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sunday, April 28, 2013

Slowly amazing

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

It is amazing that the epiphanies seem to come so frequently in this life. The other day I was baking a cake and David got back from the grocery store and had to deal with the leaking coolant on the car and needed help putting the groceries away. I was up to my elbows in batter and asked Simon and Linnaea if they could help.


They both came in and put all the groceries away and went back to what they were doing. It was so sweet, so not coercive, so not eye-rolling. Just this generous gift of service. It came with an epiphany, an underscoring of these unschooling side effects that I see and read about from other people.

As you say, the proof is in the living! The rightness, the evidence, the closeness, the joy, those are all found in this life. You can read about them, but to experience them you have to get down on your hands and knees and play and hang out and tell stories and cuddle and talk and share and be willing to listen and to apologize and to work to make it better. And if you can do that without any other intention than enjoying being with them, without any ulterior motives, it plays out in ways that nothing else that I've ever seen does.
—Schuyler Waynforth


SandraDodd.com/confidence
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Deeply loved

The quote is from Schuyler Waynforth. The image is by Holly Dodd.

"Look for ways to connect with them. There are biological ways. Smelling their heads is amazingly connective.

"Sometimes it's hard, just staying still, just watching, just being with babies. But it won't be long..."

—Schuyler Waynforth


SandraDodd.com/bonding
Artist trading card by Holly Dodd, October 2012

Saturday, November 26, 2022

Peaceful choices


Schuyler Waynforth wrote some years ago:

It was hard not to turn to the quick solution that never solved anything and left everyone upset, me included, me, maybe the most. But it was amazing to have to expand into the vacuum left by not having that blunt tool in my toolbox. Both Simon and Linnaea grew to trust me. It took less time than I expected.
. . . .
My raging, my approach to problems didn't help anything.

I can remember talking about it, thinking about it, it was like a switch I could feel turning. I went from calm and in control to *switch* furious in no time at all. And I couldn't figure out how to not turn the switch on, to make the switch a thoughtful process. When it flipped the other day I felt it go and I stepped away and I turned it off. Most days I stop long before the switch goes. The thoughtful process was recognizing the grumpiness earlier in the day. Feeling a shortness that isn't normally there and doing things to respond to that like going for a quick breath outside or having a chocolate milk or a chai latte or something else that just ups my energy budget a bit. Taking five minutes to close my eyes and be still helps, too. Whatever works for you to buffer yourself is good. Come up with lots of little things.
SandraDodd.com/parentingpeacefully
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, November 30, 2013

A moment of nothing much

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Deschooling doesn't work until you let go of structure. Early days unschooling is about learning how to see learning in all things and if you are still looking to the structure of curricula it will be very, very difficult to grasp the fundamentals of unschooling. Having go-to ideas of things to do or engagements to offer is a good thing, but having those things be about education or a passing on of pieces of specific knowledge it won't help you to see the glorious world of unschooling. Those things are best if they are just kind of a fun thing to do in a moment of nothing much going on. Learning will happen.
SandraDodd.com/fabric
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, February 16, 2013

Start with them.


Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

You start by learning about your children. You start by playing with them. By hanging out and listening to them. By starting with them. The more you know about them, the more you know about what interests them, the more you see them and hang out with them, the easier it will be for you to find things that interest them. Don't start by looking at the wider world and trying to force it upon your children. Start with them.
—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/howto
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Thursday, September 29, 2022

Playing, hanging out, listening


Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

You start by learning about your children. You start by playing with them. By hanging out and listening to them. By starting with them. The more you know about them, the more you know about what interests them, the more you see them and hang out with them, the easier it will be for you to find things that interest them. Don't start by looking at the wider world and trying to force it upon your children. Start with them.
—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/howto
photo by Cátia Maciel
__

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Time and attention and focus

painting of a sort of sunburst, with the word 'yes'
Schuyler Waynforth said, in a presentation in Australia:

When I stumbled across unschooling I grabbed hold.
. . .
The more I read and the more I experienced and the more I tried, the more that I could see a framework. It was my engagement that made a difference. It was my time and my attention and my focus that kept things moving better and more smoothly than it could ever have done without me.
—Schuyler Waynforth


SandraDodd.com/nest
art and photo by Holly Blossom
__

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Learning to make peaceful choices


Schuyler Waynforth wrote some years ago:

It was hard not to turn to the quick solution that never solved anything and left everyone upset, me included, me, maybe the most.

But it was amazing to have to expand into the vacuum left by not having that blunt tool in my toolbox. Both Simon and Linnaea grew to trust me. It took less time than I expected.
. . . .
My raging, my approach to problems didn't help anything.

I can remember talking about it, thinking about it, it was like a switch I could feel turning. I went from calm and in control to *switch* furious in no time at all. And I couldn't figure out how to not turn the switch on, to make the switch a thoughtful process. When it flipped the other day I felt it go and I stepped away and I turned it off. Most days I stop long before the switch goes. The thoughtful process was recognizing the grumpiness earlier in the day. Feeling a shortness that isn't normally there and doing things to respond to that like going for a quick breath outside or having a chocolate milk or a chai latte or something else that just ups my energy budget a bit. Taking five minutes to close my eyes and be still helps, too. Whatever works for you to buffer yourself is good. Come up with lots of little things.
SandraDodd.com/parentingpeacefully
photo by Sandra Dodd
__