Kids Helping Voluntarily

Deborah D. shared a laundry story:

My 10 year old daughter was frustrated yesterday because I hadn't done her laundry yet. When I offered to show her how to do it (I offered it as a possible solution, not as a punitive "do it yourself" thing), she was very excited. She delightfully did several loads of laundry yesterday and today and told me how much fun it is to do.

Today my 8 year old saw what was happening and has done two loads. I happen to like doing laundry so I'm sure that helped—there's been none of the martyr energy I have around other household work.

—Deborah D.

SandraDodd.com/chores/tales
photo by Chelsea Thurman, of kids who could be waiting for laundry...

Can laundry be fun?

Any tiny moment can be enjoyed: the feel of warm running water when you wash your hands...

...Can laundry be fun? If you have to do laundry and you choose NOT to enjoy it, an hour or more of your precious hours on earth have been wasted. Can looking at your child bring you joy even when he needs a bath and has lost a shoe and hasn't lived up to some expectation that only exists in your mind? If not, a paradigm shift could help you both.

"Laundry is Love" (a new page!)
The quote above is on the new page, though it is from
Rejecting a Pre-Packaged Life (SandraDodd.com/joy)

photo by Cathy Koetsier

Service as Affection

Even with grown kids who could absolutely take care of themselves if I died or if they moved away, I'm still doing laundry for them because I want to free their time up to do more interesting things. I started running out of ways to express my affection and to support their interests when they had jobs and cars, but this is a thing I can still do. If I decided it was hurting me, I could turn around and hurt them. Lots of parents do that.

If I decide it's a way to show affection, I turn around and show them affection.

Service
photo by Holly Dodd
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Sunny and dry

Look for usefulness.

Look for beauty.

Hang out, you and your laundry.



SandraDodd.com/howto
photo by Sandra Dodd
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What if?

What if.... you dig a hole in your back yard? What if you leave laundry in the washing machine? What if you think dangerous thoughts?


What if you keep your child home from school for one year?
What if you keep him home longer?

What if you create such a rich life that not only is your child learning, but so are the parents? So are visitors to your house?

What if you click the link below, and read more about all of that?

SandraDodd.com/whatif
photo by Karen James

Plain old or all dressed up

Sometimes a table might be formally set for a special meal, or decked out with a birthday cake, and other times it has a week's worth of mail and a forgotten art project.

People will doll up with formal clothes and the best of hair and make-up, or be set head-to-toe for a sport, performance, or a cosplay event.

A house, or neighborhood, might be decorated for a festival, and a week later have too much sunshine, and trash blowing down the street.

This happens with learning, with relationships, and in families, too. A special movie night isn't the same as whatever's on and helping fold the laundry so there's space on the couch. What looks like a quiet, boring afternoon might have a lot of learning under the surface.

A Typical Unschooling Day Described two ways
photo by Janine Davies

Something old, something new...

Something old, something new; Something borrowed, something blue. That's traditional advice for a bride, to create good luck by what she wears to the wedding. For those in places where that little verse is foreign, then it's history, and cultural trivia. As an unschooling tool it could be a checklist of things to look for, when you go for a walk, or see a video, or a painting, or while folding the laundry.

Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Corrales, New Mexico;
Sandia Mountains in the distance, with clouds

Dividing is divisive

"I was thinking the other day about husbands and chores and how many people I've heard say that it shouldn't be their job to pick up after their husband. I never thought of picking up my husband's things as being my cleaning up after him—I've only thought of it as cleaning our house. Does it matter whose laundry or dishes they are? Does he shovel only his own side of the driveway and leave me to climb snowbanks to get to my side of the car? Dividing things yours-and-mine, even socks, in one's internal thoughts doesn't seem to add much happiness." —Colleen Prieto

Chores, Serving others as a gift, tales of kids helping out voluntarily
(a chat transcript)
photo by Janine

An evolving life

"I didn't get it. I thought I did. But it's like mowing the lawn, or dishes, or laundry, or being their mom...it will always be evolving, because it isn't an it. It is life."

—Shan Burton

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Gail Higgins

A Playful Attitude

Some people think of play as frolicking, or as make-believe, but it can be a pervasive mood and include the way people bring groceries in, and watch movies, and sort laundry and sing in the shower.

A light and playful attitude changes everything.


Mindful Parenting
photo by Sandra Dodd

Snowbanks and socks

Colleen Prieto wrote:

I was thinking the other day about husbands and chores and how many people I've heard say that it shouldn't be their job to pick up after their husband. I never thought of picking up my husband's things as being my cleaning up after him - I've only thought of it as cleaning our house. Does it matter whose laundry or dishes they are? Does he shovel only his own side of the driveway and leave me to climb snowbanks to get to my side of the car? Dividing things yours-and-mine, even socks, in one's internal thoughts doesn't seem to add much happiness.

—Colleen Prieto

quote from Chores, Serving others as a gift, tales of kids helping out voluntarily
but another good link would be
Why 50/50 is a problem
photo by SandraDodd
of Ester Siroky's kitchen, one day

Announcement and request

The last time I had a "time out" blog I wrote " This is post 250 or so, and I was surprised the blog had lived that long. Nearly three seasons—almost a year."

That post is here: https://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/

This will be post 583, I think. And I'm writing for a similar reason. I'm gearing up to leave home for a long time. My speaking schedule will be linked below, but I'm going to be gone for two weeks, to Massachusetts and then Oregon, speaking; I'll be home just a couple of days and then go to Europe; I'll come home and be here long enough to do laundry, sleep, and re-pack, and then go to Sacramento. That's daunting.

The likelihood that I will come up with 90+ original and clever blog posts in that time is small and I want to avoid the stress, so I think some of the summer's posts might be "greatest hits." Maybe you could think of it as an oldies station, with stuff you can sing along to! I hope you will forgive re-runs, if you see any.

There are new readers, though. There are 989 Feedburner subscribers (receiving the posts directly by e-mail) and others subscribing by other sorts of blog feeds and notices, so I can confidently say "over a thousand readers." Thank you! For the new readers, it will be all new.

ANOTHER THING: If you see an older post with a missing photo, please e-mail me a link to it so I can repair it. I moved some things and if some of the photos hadn't been properly labelled as having been used, they might be in a new folder and the link will be broken. I can repair them easily, if I know about it. Thanks for helping me clean up errors you might find! For instance, yesterday's post lead to a page with something by Alex I had marked as 2011; that was a typo for 2012. A reader let me know. Thanks, Dina!

The photo is Kirby, Jill Parmer and me, last month in Albuquerque. I hate to send something without a photo. :-)

There are some Just Add Light translations into French and Portuguese linked in the upper right on the blog page (for those of you who only see the e-mail): http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/

photo by Addi Davidson, with my camera
Notes on where I'm speaking: https://speakingsandradodd.blogspot.com/