Capable and loved

Schuyler wrote:

I am often struck by how much of an effective method unschooling is. Maybe effective isn't the right word, but it feels right, or apt. I don't know of any other approach to people that helps them to feel more themselves, more powerful, more generous, more capable, more loved. And what an outpouring you get in response. And I feel so much better as this parent than I did as the parent I used to be.

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/substance
photo by Sukayna

Remodel your mind

Once upon a time a confident and experienced scholar went to the best Zen teacher he knew, to apply to be his student. The master offered tea, and he held out his cup. While the student recited his knowledge and cataloged his accomplishments to date, the master poured slowly. The bragging continued, and the pouring continued, until the student was getting a lapful of tea, and said, “My cup is full!” The master smiled and said, “Yes, it is. And until you empty yourself of what you think you know, you won’t be able to learn.”

Weird Al says it a different way in “Everything You Know is Wrong,” and Christians say “You must surrender yourself.” Before that Jesus said, “Unless you become as a little child…”

What it means in homeschooling terms is that as long as you think you can control and add to what you already know, it will be hard to come to unschooling. The more quickly you empty your cup and open yourself to new ideas uncritically, the sooner you will see natural learning blossom.



SandraDodd.com/deschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd, of paintings on glass by Hema Bharadwaj

Learning to listen

"Listen to your body" isn't the best description. There are ways to pay attention to bodily clues that our culture and language came to ignore and deny.



In response to someone talking about her children self regulating, I wrote:

"Self regulate" means to make a rule and then follow it yourself. They're not self regulating. They're making choices. It's different. It's better!

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My friend Bela sent me the following story, which has a good description of mindful living:

One zen student said, "My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating."

The second said, "My teacher has so much self control, he can go days without sleep."

The third said, "My teacher is so wise that he eats when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired."

My kids did that!
photo by Beth Lamb
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Plan B

Twice since the beginning of January, I've missed posting Just Add Light. I had a head cold, and it was snowy, and I stayed in bed long hours, at odd times. I'm sorry! I'm better.

As Plan B, I hope that any day you notice there was no post that you'll go to the blog and click the randomizer in the upper right. There are some great posts from years back. Odds are you'll find a good one!

Randomizer, upper right
(If you're on a phone, you could wait until tomorrow,
or get on a computer! The blog is prettier there.)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Invisible weeds

Weeding out terminology we would prefer not to mean improves thinking.

A hundred times or more people have said "just semantics" and "stupid" about me saying "don't say teach," which I've been doing for years. Every time someone says "taught" or "teach" they can slip back into the whole school thing and be seeing the world through school-colored glasses. If they do what it takes, mentally and emotionally, to recast their reports and then their thoughts in terms of who *learned* something, then they can start to see the world in terms of learning.

SandraDodd.com/control
is where the quote came from
but the "Mindful of words" page
might be good to see.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Tools and equipment

If you want to unschool, there's no curriculum to buy and you and your children will be discovering the secret passages and magical destinations without a schedule or a map.

To help you prepare for or strengthen your own heroic adventure, there are three tools you need, and a checklist of seven nest-building items for you to collect and protect.

Equip yourself with: confidence experience good examples Build your nest with food shelter love patience enthusiasm curiosity joy

SandraDodd.com/hsc/littletools
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Parallel play

When a family is used to being together most of the time, it's easy to accept that one person could be having thoughts or experiences that don't match anyone else's, and people can still be happy in the situation. In a game, or looking at a display, or climbing, different people's experiences are their own, and learning will be happening within and around you all.

Shared experiences are not identical experiences.

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Janelle Wrock
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