Real learning is bigger

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

The idea that learning to read is learning to sound out or recognize words, that learning to write is learning to draw the letters correctly, that learning math is learning to carry out algorithms by rote—such ridiculously low goals. As if that is what kids are capable of. Those are not real reading, writing, or math.

—Pam Sorooshian

What Teaching Can Never Be (chat transcript)
photo by Cátia Maciel

Learning for fun

School and school-at-home sometimes teach people not to learn, or at least not to learn anything for fun without direction because "it won't count." I think everything counts. I think everything can be fun. When I say "I think," I very often mean "I am absolutely convinced after years of careful consideration and observation with no evidence to the contrary, and my original idea became a theory which has become a conviction."

SandraDodd.com/interview
photo by Rosie Moon

Not following a script

Sandra Dodd to Pam Sorooshian, in a sort of group interview:

You've been communicating closely with all kinds of homeschoolers, not just unschoolers, for a long time now. Thinking back to the best of them and the families in which things were strong and good, what traits in the parents or families do you think helped most?

Pam Sorooshian:

Hmmm - the best of them.... I think it is that they aren't treating their kids the way they think they are "supposed to," but are looking clear-eyed at their own real children and treating them as the individuals they are. I mean - they aren't following a script. They are authentic. They don't punish a kid because they have some idea that "kids need to be punished" - they think about what their own real standing-in-front-of-them kid is probably feeling and thinking and they respond to that reality. How many times have we seen a parent yell or be harsh with a kid that was already upset? Without regard to what was upsetting them.

Parents who get really in touch with their kids - who let themselves think what their kids are thinking - who aren't afraid to imagine what their kids are REALLY feeling and thinking...... those are the good ones.

Sometimes I'm amazed at what parents tell themselves that their own kids are thinking or feeling. The really awful ones make all kinds of terrible assumptions about kids' intentions.

—Pam Sorooshian
2009

Chat with Pam Sorooshian
photo by Cátia Maciel

Avoiding rebellion

For those who started a decade or so before the teen years, who conscientiously treated their children with respect and consideration, who gave them choices of all sizes and helped them figure out how to get along well and happily in the world, rebellion does not come.

SandraDodd.com/respect/
photo by Sandra Dodd, of volunteer golden columbine flowers we nurtured and appreciated, but did not create or "manage"

Respect makes sense

Joyce wrote::

When kids feel respected, when they've experienced a life time of their desires being respected and supported to find safe, respectful, doable ways to get what they want, kids won't push the envelope into craziness. That behavior just doesn't make sense to them.

Kids who've been controlled focus on pushing against that control, sometimes focus on the hurt of not being accepted for who they are, and do things just because they're not supposed to.

— Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo by Caren Knox

Another benefit of unschooling

Sandra Dodd, 15 November 2017

Grateful for not having needed to help kids with homework all those years.

Jen Keefe

We were out to dinner last night and the family seated behind us were trying to collectively complete the older daughter's algebra homework. It seemed stressful, but the dad was trying to make it better by ordering bottomless rootbeer floats and fries (which I thought was so nice). Still, I looked at my husband and said "November gratitude: no homework!"

Sandra Kardaras-Flick

Until now, I hadn’t considered the whole homework thing. Wow, something else to be grateful for. So cool!

SandraDodd.com/homework
Art by Dave Coverly
Speedbump.com

They will do it

Q: How will you know if they can read?

How did you know they could ride a bike?
How do parents know when a baby can walk? Talk?

MANY families' reading stories,
and gathered stats by Jo Isaac, PhD

Quote from SandraDodd.com/faq
photo by Michelle Tovaas Huelle