Talking, laughing, doing, watching...

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

One of the most frequent questions I hear is, "What does a typical day look like in your house?" It's hard to know how to answer since what we are doing is what we have always done. We live our life, have fun, try new things, talk about them. Mostly, the learning happens almost "under the radar"—people talking, laughing, doing stuff, watching things, tasting things, and making connections that make sense to them.

—Sylvia Woodman, 2014

SandraDodd.com/sylviawoodman/learning
photo by Sylvia Woodman

Free to play

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

I love the flexibility. The ability that we could travel whenever we want. Like we’re not tied to the school system. I love the fact that I can play. That I am free to play just as much as my kids are free to play. I like to do a lot of cooking. I like to experiment with a lot of recipes. We like to invite a lot of people over. We can have parties. We can play games. We don’t have to do what everybody else is doing. We’re free to not only do what’s right for us but what makes us happy. And I feel like by unschooling that provides a really nice framework for that to happen.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/sylviawoodman/interview,
Sylvia Woodman, interviewed by Pam Laricchia
photo by Megan Valnes, in Italy
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Other ways to the same place

Sylvia Woodman, in an interview:

What they were able to read was not connected to what they were able to understand. They had very big vocabularies, they could understand very sophisticated content, but they weren’t necessarily going to go to a reference book to learn more. They had other resources available to them. They had podcasts, they had YouTube, they had voice-to-text if they wanted to communicate with people; they had lots of other ways of getting to the same place.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/sylviawoodman/interview
photo by Sylvia Woodman

Something very special

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

"One of my favorite things of all times is watching my children concentrating. I see it when Gabriella draws. I see it when Harry games or practices Taekwondo. The kids have friends over this week and I've spent more than a little time hanging out in the room with them watching them focus on their games—both together and apart. I feel like I'm in the presence of something very special, almost holy."

— Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/being
photo also by Sylvia Woodman, 2013; text 2018

A progression

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

One of the great gifts of reading in unschooling groups was learning to change my perspective. To stop writing off entire days. To recognize bad moments for what they were—just moments. Moments pass MUCH quicker than entire days.

I learned the value of taking a breath and making a better choice. Wouldn't you know it, our days became better, sweeter, more fun-filled.

Did I continue to mess up? Sure, but it got to be less and less. I was growing and learning right alongside my kids. I was learning to be a better parent to my unique kids.

The things I learned rippled out across my life. I became a better daughter, partner, sister, friend. Unschooling helped me become a better human.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Janine Davies
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Examine reflexes

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

I think people confuse "Say yes more" with "Never say no."

When you are moving toward unschooling it's important for parents to examine why they are saying "No" to their children. Is it for a good and real reason or is the parent saying no reflexively? I think it's an important mental exercise in creative thinking to examine "Why am I saying no?" There may actually be a good and real reason to say no. Maybe with a little creativity the answer can be yes. Maybe it can be "yes, but not now." Or "Yes, but not here."

To say "yes" reflexively is no more mindful than saying "no" thoughtlessly.

—Sylvia Woodman
(original)

SandraDodd.com/joyce/yes
photo by Sandra Dodd

Soft, peaceful, relaxed mom

Sylvia Woodman, responding to a mom who had written:

"I'd just like to share that I have also relaxed my militant attitude..."

I'm glad to hear that you are relaxing! I bet if your daughter could choose between a Militant Mom and a Soft, Peaceful, Relaxed Mom she would prefer the latter over the former. 🙂

—Sylvia Woodman

Soft and Sweet
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Mindful and thoughtful

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

I think people confuse "Say yes more" with "Never say no."

When you are moving toward unschooling it's important for parents to examine why they are saying "No" to their children. Is it for a good and real reason or is the parent saying no reflexively? I think it's an important mental exercise in creative thinking to examine "Why am I saying no?" There may actually be a good and real reason to say no. Maybe with a little creativity the answer can be yes. Maybe it can be "yes, but not now." Or "Yes, but not here."

To say "yes" reflexively is no more mindful than saying "no" thoughtlessly.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/joyce/yes
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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An aha! moment

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

When I first started going to LLL (La Leche League) meetings there was one mom (not a leader) in the group who was very gung-ho about boycotting Nestle and other companies who were connected with evil formula companies.

And I remember so vividly the leader very gently saying something to the effect that she could never keep track of all the companies she was not supposed to support and she found it much simpler to just spend time every day supporting moms who wanted to breastfeed and that eventually that would have a greater and more positive effect on the world she lived in.

It was an aha! moment—don't focus on the negative or how awful the situation is—take small steps toward positive change. Denying my kids Nestle chocolate isn't going to bring the formula industry to its knees. But helping my neighbor who just had a new baby, bringing her a meal or unloading her dishwasher are small things that I can do that will make a huge difference for my neighbor.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/factors
photo by Sandra Dodd

Planning, resources and intention

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

Unschooling is not "doing nothing." It takes planning, and resources, and intention. I think it felt more like work in the earlier years while I was still doing the bulk of my Deschooling. (Don't get me wrong there are still things that "catch me by surprise" in my thinking even now! But it's not as constant.) But at some point, there was a shift. A Leveling Up. Unschooling became less of the way we were educating the children and more of the way we lived our lives. It wasn't one thing that we did. It was a million tiny choices (and not so tiny choices) that led us to where we are today.

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/doitwell

and the quote is also at SandraDodd.com/levelup/
photo by Jo Isaac

Do what it takes

"Rather than worry that I'm not doing enough for my family, I'm doing what it takes for me not to wonder about that. Working to improve children's lives seems to ripple across generations."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/stories/sylvia
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Deschooling

Sylvia Woodman wrote:

In some ways parents need to be actively demonstrating how much BETTER staying home is to being in school. Make sure you are busy doing fun things. Give her experiences that she could never have if she was in school.

Sandra Dodd, backing her up:

Sylvia's right—DO things. Point out in the midst of a fun activity that it's cool that she doesn't need to... get up early the next day, or wear special clothes/uniform/dress code every day, or...

And you, the mom, see other things that are lucky and fortunate about it.

Questions about Deschooling (facebook)
photo by Cátia Maciel

One and only childhood

"Soften your view of the world. Don't expend too much energy being against things. Be soft and sweet and peaceful while your child is young. There will be plenty of time to gnash teeth and shake your fist at the injustices of the world when your child's one and only childhood is over."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/happy
photo by Sandra Dodd

A big, easy difference

"If I can bring someone a snack before they come tell me they are hungry it can make a real difference in the kind of day we are all having!"

—Sylvia Woodman

Siblings: Attending to Very Young Children and Their Siblings
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Happiness is good for health

"Happiness is good for health! If something that makes a kid happy is deemed unhealthy by a parent, it will create stress and division. That kind of stress is NOT healthy. That kind of division works against the kind of relationship between parent and child that makes unschooling awesome!"

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/eating/peace
photo by Sylvia Woodman
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Rise up and see

"When you are in a defensive crouch you can't see the bigger picture."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Candy and the future

A reminder!

If you haven't bought Halloween candy yet, get the best candy you can afford. If no one comes by, you still have it! If it all goes out into the community, it makes you a better person and your house will have sweeter associations for children who might grow up remembering.


from Halloween Candy and Choices or "Candy Gets Dusty"
photo by Sylvia Woodman

Peace is all about choices

If you want to live peacefully make the most peaceful choices. Peace is all about choices. Choose to breathe consciously. Choose understanding over ignorance. Choose to make choices. Choose awareness over oblivion. And make choices based on the principles you live by.

SandraDodd.com/choices
(Thanks to Heather Newman for quoting me, May 22, 2011.)
photo by Sylvia Woodman

Fun and happiness

"I want fun and happiness to be priorities in our home. If people are happy and having fun, they are learning."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/virtue
photo by Sarah S.

Bring it

"It is our job as unschooling parents to help bring the world to our kids and our kids to the world. Unschooling is not 'whatever you want honey I'll be over here doing my own separate thing I'm sure you'll figure it out.' That would be neglect. We need to consistently be providing something better, richer, interesting, more vivid than they they would be getting in school. It's not up our kids to ask for enrichment. It is up to us to provide it."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Karen James