 | "I sometimes look back and see how far my thoughts and actions had shifted from where I started and it was (and is) dizzying and exhilarating. Things that made me feel panicky five years ago are now so accepted and normal and joyful in our house. And I am still moving forward and trying to choose from more and better choices every day." —Anna Black |
 | Cameras can stop time. Memories can try. But really, the moment is gone and new moments are coming. Keep your balance, live lightly, be sweet. |
Meredith Novak wrote:
Ultimately, what helps most to do first was not set myself up to yell—and that meant going back a few more minutes and noticing how things went wrong in the first place and changing those dynamics. Most of them were about expectations I had—kids should or shouldn't do some thing. As I worked through expectations like that, there was less to yell about. So basically I worked the problem from both ends—I found ways for life to flow more smoothly for my family on the one end, and learned to stop and hush and start over on the other. —Meredith Novak |
These quotes were about unschoolers helping other unschoolers, but the ideas work with parents and children, too.SandraDodd.com/rulebound
 | "Don't let fear and worry drive your decisions and interactions with your kids, though. If you focus on joy and partnership, dark corners won't seem dark. You and your kids will be able to illuminate them together through open dialogue and trust." —Jo Isaac |
| "When kids feel respected, when they've experienced a life time of their desires being respected and supported to find safe, respectful, doable ways to get what they want, kids won't push the envelope into craziness. That behavior just doesn't make sense to them. "Kids who've been controlled focus on pushing against that control, sometimes focus on the hurt of not being accepted for who they are, and do things just because they're not supposed to."
—Joyce Fetteroll
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| So what do we need besides seeing things in a new light, trying to be more understanding about noise and mess, and being our children's partners? I mean tools for moving toward being with children in new ways? Maybe LOVE the mess See it as evidence of health and joy and learning, and then it's not "mess," it's proof. |  |
 | I had a professor, years ago, tell me that one mark of intelligence was the use of tools other than the way they were intended to be used. I thought that definition would show up in other places in my life, but it hasn't. So here I share it with all of you. Try not to say "That's not what that's for" too quickly—your child might be about to do something quite intelligent. "If you want to be creative, stay in part a child, with the creativity and invention that characterizes children before they are deformed by adult society." —Piaget, quoted by Deb Lewis in "Unguided Discovery" |
 | If you get to sleep for a long time, be glad. If your sleep is interrupted, try to be like a cat, and just accept it. Measuring sleep and being angry about the clock will lead to neither peace nor rest. |
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| Noticing and appreciating change and variation is good artistically, emotionally and scientifically. Life changes things. See that, accept it, and flow. |  |
 | Unschooling isn't another version of a curriculum, that will take four hours a day. Unschooling is a different way to live and to see and to think. |
 | Change one thing: timing, route, store, choices, order, station, dishes... One change affects other perceptions and connections. |
 | "Food you want, served to you by someone who loves you and brings it to you with a smile and a hug, has magical powers to heal and replenish the soul as well as the body." —Shan Burton |
| History is infinite, that's for sure. You've gotta start somewhere, and pretty much it doesn't matter where you start because it's all connected, like a universe-sized dot-to-dot you could never finish but you started when you were born. |  |
 | Look around you for simple bits of older art, technology and history. See and appreciate these quiet antiques. |
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"The big upside of unschooling, in my opinion, was that it also created an unexpected peacefulness, fulfillment, and happiness for all of us."
 | Offering a child food instead of waiting for him to ask has been frowned upon by some people as being pressure. I think that's wrong. Asking for cold pantry-food, or needing to ask someone to cook something isn't nearly as good as smelling food cooking, or seeing nicely-arranged food that's immediately available if you want it. |
| "Being mindful won't prevent kids from getting frustrated but it will be a huge step in the right direction. Seeing the world from kids' point of view will help you understand why they are reacting to the world as they are." —Joyce Fetteroll |  |
My attitude continues to make the greatest difference to my happiness. Most of my needs are met in joyfully giving and being with my family. Those that are not met that way, are more able to be met when my daughter and husband are already happy and feeling generous. And if I am feeling like I need a break, I can take one in the space of a breath, a memory, a moment, a hug.
