Laughter and joy

Cass Kotrba wrote:

"It is your responsibility to keep your children safe but that doesn't mean you are a prison guard. Lighten up and try to be fun! Try to think of fun ways to break things up when or before tensions start to rise. Find things to laugh together about. Watch comedies. Find out what your kids think is funny and laugh with them. Let the sound of their laughter resonate deep down into your soul. Find the joy and fuel it."

—Cass Kotrba

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Smooth and soft

Cass Kotrba wrote:

I am stunned, amazed and very grateful for the wisdom I have learned and continue to learn on this list.* It is amazing the impact it has had on all of our lives. And it has been surprising to experience how much our emotions impact our health. Even her skin, previously dry and bumpy, has improved. Radical unschooling has helped us be smooth and soft, inside and out.

—Cass Kotrba

* The Always Learning discussion is the list on which that appeared. The original is here.

SandraDodd.com/stress
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Frosty

Life produces some fragile, fleeting things.

Cass Kotrba photographed frost so beautifully that you can see the individual ice crystals that formed on the grass, in northern Colorado.

Some people live where this doesn't happen.

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You can click it for a larger image you can zoom in on better.
some other fleeting things
photo by Cass Kotrba
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Play with your food

You can play with your food and eat it too.

Cass Kotrba wrote: "I am enjoying making vegetable art lately. Today we have scarlet nantes, atomic red and purplesnax carrots posing for a photo shoot before becoming pickled ginger carrots."

Artsy Collections
photo by Cass Kotrba
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Some things are better

If someone wants to unschool well, positivity is better than negativity. Gratitude is better than resentment. Optimism is better than pessimism.

Choices in Parenting, Unschooling and the rest of Life
photo by Cass Kotrba
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"R" is for Reality

This image fills in the "R" on the spiffy nearly-new Learn Nothing Day logo.

People can't actually leave the planet and can't actually go back in time. The only place we can live is the here and now.

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Live with your children in the moment, and the moment is not in the past. Live with your child in the moment, in the world where you are.

SandraDodd.com/reality/

The photo adorned Better, kinder, stronger, in early 2020.
Thank you, Cass Kotrba.

The same but different

Some things are the same at a distance, or when the details are unimportant.

Up close, even things that are "the same" can be very different.

What you're doing, what people think you're doing, what you wish you were doing, all might be very different. By careful comparison and contrast, we can clarify our vision. Save the effort for things you care about, though.

Comparisons
photo by Cass Kotrba, who wrote
"These beets I grew are such beautiful colors! I have never seen a white beet before. They came from a beet mix from Seed Trust."
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Where the magic is

"It's easy to see problems. It's easy to get down and be cranky. Anyone can do that. But to find the laughter, the beauty, the pathway to connection and possibilities—that's where the magic is. It requires you to look at things from different angles."

—Cass Kotrba

SandraDodd.com/angles
photo by Sandra Dodd

Improve life!

"It feels so much better to be doing something active to try to improve life than it did sitting around worrying about it!!"

—Cass Kotrba

SandraDodd.com/doit
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Excitement and joy

Once someone was asking how many hours she should spend with her child, or something, and I said at least as many hours as she would've been in school, counting transportation, and there was shock and surprise. The best answer might be that it should be twice as much time as she would've spent in school. Because honestly, a child shouldn't lose the mom-time she would've had at night and on weekends, should she?

The shock probably came from thinking that those hours would be teacher-style hours, of being stuck in one place doing something not too fun. That vision can only come from someone who hasn't looked into unschooling enough to know that the best unschooling hours are fun, natural, real activities. The shock can turn to excitement and joy, as a parent learns more about learning.

Unschooling, Time and Energy
photo by Cass Kotrba

Note to parents:

Contented parents are more useful to children and their learning and living than are unhappy parents reciting slogans or rhetoric.

SandraDodd.com/peace
SandraDodd.com/politics
photo by Cass Kotrba

Just being

There's little so sweet and grounding to me as being loved for who I am and appreciated for all I choose to spend my time doing. If we want our children to really know what that feels like too, we should stop standing on the sidelines, and start joining in.

It's a simple gift we can all give to our children that will have the potential to last a lifetime.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/beingwith ("A Simple Gift")
photo by Cass Kotrba

Self-defending ideas

I wish I could tell everyone that if there's some part of Sandra's site they think they "don't need" to read, READ IT FIRST. Read it twice.

Your bad ideas are trying to defend themselves by tricking you.

—Virginia Warren

How to read SandraDodd.com
photo by Cass Kotrba

Closer to peace

We can't live in "how will I survive this?" time nor can we live well by pining for that past we've already lived through. The best way to get through must be to do a better thing. If a conscious thought about time passage comes, think of what will be an improvement, and make that choice, however tiny, however slight.

Avoiding regret, contributing joy...
time will flow as it will,
but we can move closer to peace.

original writing, a bit longer, at Time is Inconsistent, June 2017
photo by Cass Kotrba

A wonderful, surprising abundance

Megan Valnes, when her daughter was younger, wrote:

Today, while making my older daughter's bed, I was reflecting on the very act itself. The girls have a bunk bed and Lila's is on the top, so I have to climb up there and she has about 20 stuffed animals--it's what I would have used to think of as a pain. Instead of feeling overworked and underpaid as I made her bed, I found myself taking extra care to make her bed very nicely because I know how good it feels to sleep in a freshly made bed. I tucked the sheets and blankets in tight and cleaned off any food crumbs. Thinking of my sweet girl, I made the bed as perfectly as I thought she would like. Her stuffed animals are placed in their special places and her bed looks very cozy and inviting. Even if she never mentions it (which I doubt she will), I feel good knowing she will appreciate the gesture.

Is this the abundance everyone talks about? This fullness of heart that I no longer think of making beds as a chore, but as an act of service and gratitude? The feeling was such a wonderful surprise!

—Megan Valnes

SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Cass Kotrba

Listen, honestly

Robyn Coburn wrote:

How do we as parents show that we respect our children, that we are parenting respectfully? One big way is by genuinely listening to them. One way is by being honest with them about our own feelings, and telling the truth about events, or unexaggerated truthful reasons about why things can or cannot occur.

—Robyn Coburn

Thoughts on Respect
photo by Cass Kotrba
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Adoration

Moms and dads are big characters in other people's lives. How's your acting? How is your being?

You're famous in your family.

Don't disappoint your fans!

Better memories
photo by Cass Kotrba
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Quoting "science"

"Scientists" say whatever they want to say. Scientists say the Grand Canyon was created suddenly by a flood. Scientists say the world is only 6,000 years old. Scientists say body fat is not bad. Scientists say it's terribly deadly. Scientists say a species is extinct, and then scientists say they were wrong.

Facts change.

SandraDodd.com/facts
photo by Cass Kotrba

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The text aboved was part of a rant. Sometimes when I rant, it's fun to read later, but the context was (as usual) unschooling, within the world of homeschooling.

Better, kinder, stronger

Robyn Coburn wrote:

"Everyone who is unschooling is on a daily journey of making choices based on unschooling principles that move them either towards or away from unschooling, towards or away from better, kinder, stronger relationships with their children. Life impacts us, emotionally and practically. Some days I think I was more fully connected to my daughter than others. But she is happy and fulfilled, and not hungry in any negative connotation of that word."

—Robyn Coburn

What Problems can Come?
photo by Cass Kotrba

Real, actual unschooling

I don’t mind “radical.” I just hear it as “real” or “actual.”

Radical Unschooling is...
photo by Cass Kotrba
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