Plans change

When you can, allow for flexible plans. Your vision of the moment might not be as good as what could spontaneously occur. Sometimes, instead of calling your child back, follow her out of the frame.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
(New words here, many good words there.)
photo by Beth Lamb

From the inside

Debbie Regan wrote:

From the outside, unschooling may look like no chores, no bedtimes, no education, no discipline, no structure, no limits, etc. But from the inside, it's about learning, relationships, living with real parameters, partnership, navigating turbulence, making connections, joy, curiosity, focus, enthusiasm, options, following trails, fun, growing understanding, opening doors...

—Debbie Regan

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Ve Lacerda

Directions

Priorities are what will help one decide whether this moment's next step should be to the left, or the right, forward, or back, or just to stand and wait.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Chrissy Florence

It's important

"If it's important to them, then it's important."

—Laurie Wolfrum

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Close up

What's near seems Big! Stay close to your children so they will be big in your life.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Lisa Jonick
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Life becomes easier

If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

Safety and communication

My children have no reason to dodge or manipulate..., because Keith and I haven't concocted any made-up arbitrary rules and their accompanying punishments. With safety and communication as principles and priorities, we've had safe, communicative kids.

page 46 (or 50) of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd

P.S.: That probably only works only if you begin very early.
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"The easy way out"

In response to someone who had written, in 2003, that she had thought about unschooling, but maybe just because she was looking for an easy way out. A couple of responses from that day:

"Unschooling is not "the easy way out," it's the joyful way IN. The way into peaceful family life, happy children and meaningful learning that lasts a lifetime."                    —Ren Allen "Unschooling isn't easy. It's full time. What it takes is a change of belief and priorities. Lots have done it, and I'm sure you can too."                    —Sandra Dodd

from an old unschooling.com page, found by Rachel on June 23, 2012
Photo by Sandra Dodd

Click the image (or here) for more information about that tree.

No conflict

In response to an inquiry about priorities among principles, and whether learning should come before safety, peace, kindness or a strong marriage:

For me, safety is big.

Peace doesn't conflict with learning; it aids it.

Kindness doesn't conflict with learning; it bolsters it.

Learning, peace and kindness make marriages better.

SandraDodd.com/priorities

Photo by Sandra Dodd, of a spider in a window of the Winchester City Mill, in Hampshire. I was glad their priority wasn't to vacuum constantly, because seeing that dead spider was one of the best things of the day.
We were in the room over the millstream.
It was raining.

Happy and Glad

I wrote this of Kirby, in 2005 when he was 18 years old:

He's confident in his skin, in his mind, and in his being.
He's not afraid of his parents.
He goes to sleep happy and he wakes up glad.

My priorities could have been different.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

The value of values

It will help unschooling for a family to accept the value of learning and of living peacefully. One family might value industry over music; one might value art over organization. But if they value their relationships and the comfort and safety of others in their family, they can thrive. As unschooling grows, you will find your priorities.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

Priorities

Parents who make meeting their children's needs a higher priority will find that life is good and they, often unexpectedly, find that they are, themselves, less needy when they feel like really good parents.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

How important is your child?

If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier.


SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd of Marty (in front) and Kirby (in red)

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2019 Update:
A second edition of The Big Book of Unschooling is available.
A wedge of the photo above appeared on the cover of the first edition.