Happiness is helpful

Katy Jennings, when her son was twelve, about not requiring chores:

Another thing that was recommended that has really helped me is finding Joy in cleaning up.... Choosing to do housework with a positive attitude really helped me, my outlook, my happiness—and more importantly helped Richard be happier. And when he is happier, he helps me more🙂, though really wasn't my goal.

When the kitchen is clean, Richard is much more likely to rinse his plate, but if the sink is full of dishes, he just adds it to the pile. One trick for the kitchen that works in my house, keep a sink full of soapy water, it is ok if it gets cold. Dishes used throughout the day can just be tossed into the soapy water. Then when it is time to do the dishes they have already soaked and the job is easy. If the water gets too nasty that is ok too, make a new batch of soapy water or just use dishsoap on a cloth to wash then as you take them out of the water. I love paper plates too. I am kind of a tree hugger, so that used to bother me. Not anymore though. My son is more important. Also I live in a desert and doing dishes takes water that we need to conserve! 🙂

Katy Jennings
Alamogordo, New Mexico

SandraDodd.com/chores/shift
photo by Sandra Dodd

Embrace curiosity

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Some people hold onto the fear that kids need schoolish math to learn math. They need to experience their kids learning math by living life to pry those virtual textbooks from their mind's grasp.

But some people are so damaged by math in school, the idea that they don't ever have to do math with their kids because kids will learn math by living life is like a great weight lifted.

That's not good either! For unschooling to flourish we should embrace a curiosity about the world—and the world includes relationships, comparisons and other uses of math.

Unschooling is *much* harder than school at home because it takes a great deal of self examination and change in ourselves to help our kids and not get in their way!

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/math/phobia
photo by Denaire Nixon

Give generously

If you want to measure, measure generously. If you want to give, give generously. If you want to unschool, or be a mindful parent, give, give, give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you thought you had given away, and more.

SandraDodd.com/howto/precisely
photo by Sandra Dodd
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The end of struggling

Relax! You can deal with problems better without struggling. You might find out that struggling WAS the problem.

A little more interesting
photo by Janine Davies
"the year Kesi asked Santa for a marrying suit ❤️"

Sensible and sensitive

Exploring the world (including food) needs to be done in a supported and supportive way, in an open and non-fearful way, in a sensible and sensitive way.

SandraDodd.com/foodreligion
photo by Sandra Dodd

Improved mood and joy

Trying a little and waiting and watching will give you a chance to see the effects of these ideas. Don't just read until you're sold. Let your child's improved mood and joy be where you see progress.

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Cátia Maciel

Be there; have time; avoid stress

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

I make lots of food. I like cooking. I like baking. And Simon and Linnaea mostly prefer my food to store food. But, for a long time, Simon preferred store bought bread to home made. Linnaea has never liked home made macaroni and cheese. And, honestly, my baking was always a time commitment. I have much more time now that they are 15 and 12 than I had when they were little.

When they were little, getting food in easy forms that they enjoyed that were quick for when David wasn't around to tag me, that was important. That was more important than any fear I may have had about what they were eating. Being there for them. Having the time for them.

Meredith wrote, and I want to underscore:

"Don't make it stressful - because what we know about nutrition has changed and changed and will change again, but stress is bad. We know that. Don't make life one bit more stressful."

—Schuyler Waynforth
quoting Meredith Novak

What problems can come?
(a long, rough, wonderful discussion from 2013)
photo by Sandra Dodd, embellished by Holly Dodd