Slowly, all of a sudden

Sandra Dodd:

Move gradually into unschooling ideas—VERY gradually if your partner isn't interested.

Until you understand it better yourself, you can't explain it to anyone. And until someone is interested, he can't hear an explanation. Same as with kids. It needs to be related to an actual curiosity or interest for it to make any sense at all.

Karen James:

I didn't try to explain unschooling to Doug (my husband). I did a good variety of things with Ethan, and shared the cool connections I saw happening.

For example, when Ethan drew a self portrait with three rows of three stick figures and said, "Nine Ethans! Three threes are nine," I simply shared with Doug how cool it was that Ethan discovered multiplication through drawing self portraits.

I didn't need to explain how that worked. In time, by sharing these kinds of experiences, the benefits of learning naturally became clear and cool and convincing all on their own. (I framed that drawing. It was a big a-ha moment for me too!)

SandraDodd.com/gradualchange

Original, on facebook (where not everyone goes, I know)
art by Ethan, photographed by Karen James

Ways to relax

Find ways to relax, rather than to struggle.

A nice outside metaphor for this is Devil's Snare, invented by J. K. Rowling for Harry Potter's world. It will grab people, and if they struggle, it grabs harder. Relax and it will relax. Shine light on it and it will shrink away.

Quotes from book and film: SandraDodd.com/struggle
photo by Marin Holmes

For learning to really flourish

Deb Lewis wrote:

Being Ethan's mom changed me. I surprised myself in good ways. In learning to give to him, I grew to really like myself. The walls started coming down. I started to soften—to have compassion for myself.... I challenged myself to continue to do better, because I now knew I could. I had a found confidence in that new truth. Honesty and humility too. All good things for learning to really flourish.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/issues
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tactful tactics

Tact is not a rule.

Tact is making a strategic, thoughtful decision after considering as many factors as the person has access to. Tactful. Tactics.

Tact is not about rules. Tact is about not burning bridges, not losing friends, not screwing things up. Tact is about being a good member of a social team. Tact is what helps a person maneuver a difficult situation and be praised and thanked later. Tact is what can get someone invited back over again.

Tact is a WONDERFUL thing to have. It is one of the best things anyone could have.

SandraDodd.com/courtesy
photo by Karen James

Temporary Christmas

"Temporary Christmas..."—aren't they all?

Temporarily we can see fun. We can share thoughts.

Allow joy to flow, when you can do that.

SandraDodd.com/joy2
photos by Holly Dodd, who also oversaw the project, with young nieces, on an oddly warm day

Natural light

Natural light comes not only from the sun, the moon, and a bit from stars if you're away from towns, but a bit can come from warm hearts and loving eyes.

May your heart be merry and bright.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Jeff Bettis, who also built the gate and fence, and laid the brick

Structure

In 1992, someone asked:

How do I structure our days
and how do I structure our learning time?

I think it should be "Woke up, got dressed, ate, played, ate, played, etc." In other words, I don’t think there should or can be any “days off” from child-centered "education."

If this seems wrong, try this experiment: Keep your child from learning anything for a few days. Make sure that from the first waking moment there is nothing learned, no new material, no original thoughts to ponder, etc. The only problem is that you would have to keep the children from playing, talking, reading, cleaning or repairing anything, etc.

from page 1 of Moving a Puddle

see also SandraDodd.com/structure
photo by Sandra Dodd