Change one thing.

Change a moment. Change one touch, one word, one reaction. If you try to change your entire self so that next year will be better, you might become overwhelmed and discouraged and distraught.

Change one thing. Smile one sweet smile. Say one kind thing.

If that felt good, do it again. Rest. Watch. Listen. You're a parent because of your child. Your child. You should be his parent, or her parent. Not a generic parent, or a hypothetical parent. Be your child's parent in each moment that you interact with her.

SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Jennie Gomes

Generous, thoughtful, considerate

Mary King Shawley wrote:

So I ask myself, what is my purpose? How do I want to be remembered? My purpose is to help my children grow and learn to be good humans and treat other people well.

—Mary King Shawley

Generous, thoughtful, considerate humans
photo by Janine Davies
(backup link to the article)

Where do you focus?

What you first see isn't all that's there. Different people notice different aspects. Don't be afraid of that. Explore it. Expect it! Enjoy it.

SandraDodd.com/theblindmenandtheelephant
photo by Rachel Singer

If you've wound them up...

With anything, if a family moves from rules (about food, freedoms, clocks, what to wear) to something new, there's going to be the backlash, and thinking of catapults (or trebuchets, more technically, or of a rubber band airplane, or other crank-it-up projectile vs ...) the more pressure that's built up, the further that kid is going to launch if you let it go all at once.

SandraDodd.com/gradualchange
photo by Ruqayya
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Full of joy

"We spend days and days watching TV, baking, doing origami, playing computer games, being silly, playing tag in the house, hide and seek. It's making me smile just writing it. It is so full of joy."

— Sarah Shields

Many other days of joy are here:
SandraDodd.com/typical
photo by Celeste Burke
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Don't be vigilant

Being "vigilant" sounds like absolutely exhausting effort. Relax. You do not "have to be vigilant." Especially not on yourself. That's you watching yourself. Way too much work. Let go of one of those selves. Relax inside the other one. Have a snooze. Don't be vigilant.

When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently.

SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Celeste Burke
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Flexibility and change

"Be prepared to be flexible and willing to change as your child gets older." —Emily Strength

SandraDodd.com/sleeping
photo by Janine