Growing up

I have been as solicitous of my children and their needs and feelings as I could be, and in turn they have grown into generous, kind adults.

SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo of Kirby Dodd, probably by Kirby Dodd

Chip away what isn't the good part

Michelangelo said that to carve his statue of David, he just chipped away everything that didn't look like David. Or maybe he didn't say that. But clearly that's what he ultimately did. Here will be ideas to help you chip away what doesn't look like unschooling. It's not as difficult as you might think.

From "How to Screw it Up", but if you need ideas more quickly,
chip away these things: SandraDodd.com/screwitup.
photo by Holly Dodd

Enjoy your child's interests!

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Instead of trying to figure out what a child is getting out of anything, take it on faith that their interest indicates that, without a doubt, there is something of value in it for them. Support it. Enjoy it. Expand it. Connect it to other things. Pursue it. Look for ways to explore it more. Take great pleasure in it!"

—Pam Sorooshian
about Disney Princesses and any other interest

SandraDodd.com/obsessions/disneyprincesses
photo by Sandra Dodd (not a good photo; sorry) of Disney Princess seats so that girls in Holland can take their dolls in "baby seats" on their bicycles (click it to enlarge, or click here for more photos of the bike shop)

It's a marvel.

Meredith wrote:

Kids learn because they are full of curiosity and wonder. That's big. It's a marvel. Wondering is what takes people—including children—from observation to something else, to asking questions and looking for answers. To trying and finding out. Wondering is one of the reasons people push through challenges—climb real mountains and metaphorical ones. You can't Give someone that kind of motivation; it only comes from deep within. Sadly, you can take it away, and teaching someone who doesn't really want to be taught is a proven way of doing so.

—Meredith Novak

The quote in larger context is at the link above,
and you can read more about wonder here: SandraDodd.com/wonder.
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a WWII pillbox outside what was then a UK aircraft factory (now museum)

Feel it and believe it

When you say something to your child, remember to feel it and believe it, or you'll be sending mixed messages, and the tone might be louder than the words. And with babies and toddlers, the tone might be the entirety of the communication.

The quote is from page 208 (or 241) of The Big Book of Unschooling,
which references this webpage: Tone of Voice and Joy.
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Amsterdam

Learn to use "learn"

If people learn to use "learn" instead of "teach," it helps them move to another angle, to see things through a different lens.

Some people see experienced unschoolers ("experienced" meaning in this context people who have done it well and effortlessly for years, who aren't afraid anymore, who have seen inspiring results) mention classes, and they think "Ah, well if the experienced unschoolers' kids take classes, then classes are good/necessary/no problem."

But if beginners don't go through a phase in which they REALLY focus on seeing learning outside of academic formalities, they will not be able to see around academics. If you turn away from the academics and truly, really, calmly and fully believe that there is a world that doesn't revolve around or even require or even benefit from academic traditions, *then* after a while you can see academics (research into education, or classes, or college) from another perspective.

Learning to See Differently
photo by Sandra Dodd
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A flow that builds and grows

Once you start looking for connections and welcoming them, it creates a kind of flow that builds and grows.

SandraDodd.com/connections/example
photo by Sandra Dodd, of the Rio Chama near Abiquiu