Completing circuits

School served to prevent connections for me, but I overcame that, with difficulty. It is a problem my children never had. If Animaniacs completed a circuit for them between Magellan and WWII, well it's a circuit school would never have completed for me under any circumstances. If learning for fun creates more connections than "serious learning" did, I can no longer look at "serious learning" seriously.

SandraDodd.com/schoolinmyhead
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
__

Producing processes

I was lucky. When Holly was a teen, she loved Photoshop, and was good at it. Her interest has waned.

I was lucky that when Holly was interested, she "populated" an outline I drew of the words "Learn Nothing Day."I'm glad she helped me document the process. Although there is "a product" (that logo), I'm happy that it was a catalyst for Holly's exploration and learning and sharing.


When I was younger there was much talk of "process people" vs."product people." With unschooling, if the "product" is learning, then we can't separate learning from the thoughts and actions, discussions and input that spark and fuel that learning.

Maybe unschooling is a process to propagate processes.


About the creation of that logo...
As of 2020, there's a second version of the logo, which shows at the top of that page. The documentation of the older one is still there, and some other photoshop art by Holly.

Turning away, turning toward

Something BIG happens when a person turns away from selfishness to service.

Something HUGE happens when a person can care about another person more than about himself.



SandraDodd.com/divorce
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Schoolhouse Rock times three

Noon, October 21, 1994:

When we got home I set the kids up with their food and put on the Schoolhouse Rock multiplication videotape. I was eating my burrito in the kitchen, reading a couple of pamphlets a friend had sent on "Michigan's Little Bavaria," and the biggest Christmas store in the world. I overheard Marty and his friend discussing infinity during a song about multiplying by nine. In a discussion like this, if they seem to know what they're talking about and they're happy with the outcome then I will stay out of it. If they ask me to mediate or confirm, I will. If I were actually at the table with them I might've led the conversation a little further, but since they were watching something with music, it would've been more distracting than helpful. If there had been more chicken strips in those lunches, they would have watched more Schoolhouse Rock. Just as the parts of speech section started, they were down to the French fries and, one by one, they wandered off to do other things, except for Holly who fell asleep on the couch.

Friday, May 29, 2015:

Kirby and Destiny passed by a rummage sale and bought Schoolhouse Rock on DVD. Nice find!

Saturday, May 30, 2015:

Keith and I were watching Saturday Night Live, which started off with a "I'm Just a Bill," from Schoolhouse Rock (live action against cartoonish background), and switched cleverly to being about executive orders. It was a repeat from November, 2014. I'll link it below.

---

The last two things happened Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, when looking for something for Just Add Light, I came across a 21-year-old article called "Pink Crayons," and a Schoolhouse Rock story popped up, coincidentally, so three in a row! Connections!

SandraDodd.com/pinkcrayons

Saturday Night Live's "I'm Just a Bill"
(with commentary and the video, which I hope will play even outside the U.S.)

2020 note: The article above is still there, but if it's not accessible, here are the original cartoon and SNL's version.
___

Wood

Collections can take space to store. Games, post cards, dolls, musical instruments, puppets, scarves...

Online, ideas and images can be collected and shared more easily. Following an interest can last a few minutes, a week, or many years.

SandraDodd.com/wood
photo by Sandra Dodd
(click to enlarge)

Changing sensibilities

Common sense among unschoolers is (and should be, needs to be) more particular and rarified than everyday "common sense."

Does it seem like common sense, after a few years of unschooling, that it's good to let people sleep if they don't need to be anywhere? And that the nicer you are to them, the nicer they're likely to be to you and to others? It seems like common sense to me that learning is learning regardless of the source, and that what's engaging and fun has value.

SandraDodd.com/change (though these words aren't there)
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

"The ice-cream principle"

Colleen Prieto wrote:

I asked my 11 year old "What's the ice cream principle?" and he responded without hesitation "If you want the ice cream, get the ice cream - because you only live once."

That's a big part of the way unschooling looks in our family - and he knows that. And it's not just about ice cream, even though that's how we happen to refer to the idea.

Our son knows that if he wants something, his Dad and I will do our best to make it happen...and there's more, at the link below, by Colleen Prieto

SandraDodd.com/options
photo by Sandra Dodd

A better place

If by "change the world" a person means "make the world better," then step #1 must be to decide right then not to make the world worse.



SandraDodd.com/philosophy
photo by Lisa Jonick

A lot of DOING

I think unschoolers should let their kids do what they want all day in an attentive and enriched environment.

The parents should be facilitators of natural learning, providing new and interesting things for their kids to experience, being supportive of their children's interests, providing them materials and experiences with music, food, art, materials...

It's a lot of DOING, and being, and learning, for years and years.

SandraDodd.com/neglect (cheery neglect)
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Robbie Prieto's Viking ship
__

Avoiding roadblocks

[While I was in La Leche League] I learned that children have within them what they need to know, and that the parent and child are a team, not adversaries. It reinforced the idea that if you are loving and gentle and patient that children want to do what you ask them to do, and that they will come to weaning, potty training, separation from mom, and all those milestones without stress and without fear if you don't scare them or stress them! Seems kind of obvious, but our culture has 1,000 roadblocks.

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Sandra Dodd
of a pretty wooodpile in Laurie Wolfrum's yard
__

Experiencing, sensing

I am so certain that learning comes from experiences and touching, hearing, seeing, smelling and tasting that in light of natural learning, books seem flat and dry.

quote from page 148 of The Big Book of Unschooling (page 161 of newer edition)
photo by Chrissy Florence

Art about art

[In 2009...] When Holly and I got back from having seen Lady in the Water, I told Kirby and Marty "It's a fairy tale about fairy tales. It's a movie about movies."

I guess that idea was still in my head when I wrote "This is art about art. These are cartoons about cartoons" (about a Strongbad cartoon called "Japanese Cartoon").


SandraDodd.com/artaboutart
Art by Naolito

Brave, happy Barbie

"Parents are afraid of a plastic doll that is not real, and kids know it—but what really damages a child's self esteem and body image is a parent comparing, critiquing, complaining and dissing their own body (or someone else's body)."

—Alex Polikowsky

SandraDodd.com/barbie
photo by Robyn and Jayne Coburn

Learning to see differently

If beginners don't go through a phase in which they REALLY focus on seeing learning outside of academic formalities, they will not be able to see around academics.

SandraDodd.com/peace/newview
photo by Lisa Jonick
__

Look in a new way

"There's more to unschooling than just not doing school. To make it flourish we need to look at ourselves, our relationship, the way we look at the world in a new way to clear out the thinking that's holding us back."

—Joyce Fetteroll

The danger of "Lazy" and other thoughts
photo by Sandra Dodd

Whole and attentive

Being a good unschooling parent involves being a good person, a good parent. Unschooling can't work unless the parent is there, whole and attentive and not screwing it up.

SandraDodd.com/issues
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Calm down

"If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself to calm down and worry less, not pander to anyone else's ideals and I'd trust my kid alot more." —Lea Tapp

SandraDodd.com/hindsight
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Talking and thinking and being

More people talk about peace than think about it. Many people are full of peaceful platitudes, and fury that others aren't "peaceful" to their specifications or fantasies.

SandraDodd.com/peace
photo by Sandra Dodd

Wisdom

Rejoice when your child surpasses you in skill, knowledge or wisdom.

Nearly a quote, from SandraDodd.com/empowerment
photo by Sandra Dodd

Open, windows; open, doors

Be open to seeing what you see, out the window. Be open to finding what you find, out the door.

SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Life flows

Liquids flow, life flows, ideas flow, learning flows. Sometimes things don't flow smoothly, or don't flow freely, or flow where we don't want them to flow, or freeze up altogether. Parents can accept, acknowledge and appreciate flow, or they can block, knock and wreck it.

SandraDodd.com/flow
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Something different

What's "same old" to you will be different or new to visitors and children. Something you see all the time might be worth a closer look.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd, 2015
___

Factors and etiquette

Thoughtful decision making involves considering as many factors as you can. No rule can be applied in every place and at all times. There will be special cases, and times to put courtesy and etiquette before any other considerations.

SandraDodd.com/foodrules
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

"Just now"

from a talk on May 9 (2015) about choices,
finding balance, and living in the present moment:

"Just right" and "just now" are things you should pay attention to.

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Holly Dodd, of bubbles in India
___

Other unschooling families

Whether in person or at a distance, online, it can be helpful to know other unschooling families. Seeing how others handle everyday or unusual situations, how they amuse themselves and comfort one another, can make it easier to understand and relax.

SandraDodd.com/friend
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Variable speeds

Time is fast, time is slow. A moment can seem like an hour, or a day can pass in a blink. Joy can make time flow smoothly. Make the best of most of your moments.

SandraDodd.com/time
photo by Sandra Dodd
___

More positive, more nurturing

Commentary on it being bad advice for a stranger to say "follow your heart":

Making a "feeling" decision can not only bring down the family and bring down the child's opportunities, but it doesn't help the parent to lay out their own wounds to dry.

Logic is good.

So if a parent knows that she wants to be kinder, gentler, more positive, more nurturing, there are things that she can do—little changes she can make and decisions she can make that lead her toward that. And "follow your heart" is not a good one.

Unschooling Support: Extras with Sandra Dodd (recording and transcript)
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Ways to support interests

Where some parents might brush off the very idea of pursuing a certain interest, unschooling parents will really try to find ways to support it, even if we can't jump in full-on right away.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/yesagain has examples
photo by Sandra Dodd

Following a trail

Learning, collections, connections and humor can all meet when an interest is followed. This one I picked up from Marty's childhood interest in Leonardo Da Vinci.I bought a couple of nice t-shirts for Marty, a poster of inventions, a book, and we came to notice lots of riffs and parodies.

That "oooh, LOOK!" behavior was a large part of interacting and learning, when my kids were young. We still share images, music, movies and trivia now that they're grown.
SandraDodd.com/vitruvianman
image lifted, as one of several variants at the link above
__

Visions and knowledge

I didn't know how much children could learn without reading, until I immersed myself in unschooling and my children's lives.

As their reading ability unfolded and grew, I learned things I never knew as a teacher, and that I wouldn't have learned as an unschooling mom had they happened to have read “early.” Reading isn't a prerequisite for learning. Maps can be read without knowing many words. Movies, music, museums and TV can fill a person with visions, knowledge, experiences and connections regardless of whether the person reads. Animals respond to people the same way whether the person can read or not. People can draw and paint whether they can read or not. Non-readers can recite poetry, act in plays, learn lyrics, rhyme, play with words, and talk about any topic in the world at length.

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Holly Dodd, from inside an auto-rickshaw
__

Being and providing

Being the sort of parent you wish you had had, and providing an environment you would like to have had as a child, is probably the easiest and most direct way to move toward being a good unschooler.

photo by Janine
words by Sandra, in a fleeting context
__

Trust and faith

Trust and faith are the most powerful tools parents of teens have. Too many parents squander those trying to control toddlers and young children.

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Sandra Dodd

That "French poodle" voice

Even the nicest of words can be ruined if they're spoken in a condescending, treacly way. It's not bad for infants, and it's great for French poodles. It's that talking-to-a-French-poodle voice, and the thoughts that go with it, that should be avoided when parents are talking to their children.

SandraDodd.com/tone
photo by Sandra Dodd
Note about treacle: In the UK they make a small pie called "treacle tart." It's like pecan pie without any pecans. Sounds like "tree," not "tray." Needs pecans. Just sayin'...

Note about the photo: Nothing to do with the quote; one of our catalpa trees blooming, a different year. Click it for more info.

If everything counts...

So what IS trivia, then? For school kids, trivia is (by definition) a waste of time. It’s something that will not be on the test. It’s “extra” stuff. For unschoolers, though, in the wide new world in which EVERYTHING counts, there can be no trivia in that sense.

SandraDodd.com/triviality
photo by Sandra Dodd

Best uses

Everything is turned to its best use and highest good insofar as we’re able. We appreciate people who can share knowledge, ideas and stories with us. We seek out interesting “scenic routes” in real and figurative ways. Our days are full and our learning is unmeasured and immeasurable.

SandraDodd.com/sustainable
photo by Chrissy Florence
___

Critical thinking

"Just because there's more than one truth doesn't mean there's no such thing as bullshit." —Sandra Dodd

You can quote it but don't steal it.
In the dozen years since I first wrote it,
nothing has occurred to change my mind.

Balance and
How Parents can Learn
photo of Holly and Sandra and some fictional characters, by Kelli Traaseth

Gather and glean

I've always felt strongly that unschooling should be about the ideas and not about the individuals. No one book, website, speaker or conference should try to be (nor be expected to be) everything for anyone, but unschooling parents should gather and glean what they can from all the real world around them. We don't need to all agree, or all be on the same list or at the same conference for families to learn and grow with unschooling.

SandraDodd.com/speakingLnL
photo by Karen James

Make decisions

'Self discipline' is like 'self regulation.' It's still about discipline and rules. How and why should one discipline and regulate oneself, when decision making in the light of compassion and goodness will work much better?


SandraDodd.com/self-regulation
photo by Julie D
___

Make it ALL learning!

If a person's life is compartmentalized into learning and not learning, then they have a part of them that is "not-learning."

"Not learning"
photo by Sandra Dodd
(click to enlarge)

For years...

They trusted me because I had spent years being trustworthy.

SandraDodd.com/sharing
photo by Sandra Dodd
___

Relax the constraints

"When you only allow a limited amount of TV, then the marginal utility of a little more tv is high and every other option looks like a poor one, comparatively. Watching more TV becomes the focus of the person's thinking, since the marginal utility is so high. Relax the constraints and, after a period of adjustment and experimentation to determine accurate marginal utilities, the focus on TV will disappear and it will become just another option."

—Pam Sorooshian
from "Economics of Restricting TV Watching of Children"

This applies to anything—not just TV/video.

photo by Janine Davies
__

Today, now

If you want to change the way you're being or thinking, just do it. Don't wait for another year, another month, another day.

SandraDodd.com/morning
photo by Sandra Dodd

Braiding plastic ponies

A scientist who was not an unschooler wrote:

"Soon I was up to starting with twenty-seven pieces (nested down to nine braids, then to three and then one) and then on to eighty-one. All the while I was learning about math: I saw that division is the process of taking a large number of things and grouping them into a smaller number of groups. In order to end up with one even braid at the end, I had to be able to divide the initial number evenly by three, then by three, and then by three again, until I ended up with just one braid."

—Christine Alvarado
and there's more at the link below

SandraDodd.com/mylittlepony
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Holly demonstrating this, years ago
(click to enlarge)
___

Choosing to have choices

A person can choose to have choices. A person can choose not to choose; still a choice, but they think of it as "no choice" or "have to."

Make the better choice
photo by Sandra Dodd

Look

Look directly at your child without filters or labels.

SandraDodd.com/look
photo by Chrissy Florence
__

People they trust

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

The best way for introverts to learn to socialize is with the people they're comfortable with: their family. And then whatever friends they feel comfortable with.

Then when they're older and their desire to get something from a group is greater than their discomfort of being in a group, they'll have the skills they picked up from people they trust.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/introvert
photo by Janine Davies
__

Socializing?

What about socialization?
Schools "teach" children to get along in school. Children who live in the real world learn to get along with real people of all ages, in all kinds of situations.

When I was in elementary school, the lowest marks I got were C's (average) in conduct, or deportment. I talked too much. Way more than once I was shushed in class with the admonition, "You're not here to socialize."

SandraDodd.com/faq
photo by Polly G, with Julie D's camera

The language they hear and see

With unschooling, children will learn from the language you use and they use, from the words they see around them, from using games and computers, from signing greeting cards or playing with words. There's no need for any school-style structure at all. For those who have wondered about phonics and reading and spelling, please don't press that on your children.

SandraDodd.com/phonics
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a ghost sign in Texas
__

A leap in thinking

"Video games are an evolutionary leap in thinking and imagination. The people who make them, the people who play them, the people who master them are using their imaginations in the way of artists and musicians and the best scientists." —Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Who inspired you?

At a couple of conferences, I've asked participants to share. The question was:
Who inspired you? Who helped you move toward better parenting and unschooling?

They might not even be unschoolers. They might have said one thing, one time.

Please think about this. If someone said or did something that changed the course of your life in this direction, and if you want to acknowledge that (with or without their name), please leave a comment or write to me and I'll add a new section of acknowledgements on the page linked below.

SandraDodd.com/inspiration
photo by Dylan Lewis