Stop / Go

Stop doing the thing that stops you from doing what you need to do.


SandraDodd.com/doit
photo by Sandra Dodd

Step it up

Do It.

If you're going to unschool, do it now and do it well.

Part of doing it "well" is moving into it deliberately and with clarity, and going gradually, but by "gradually" I don't mean over five or ten years. Childhood lives in weeks, days and hours, not in months, years and decades.

SandraDodd.com/ifonly
but the quote is from page 20 of
The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Megan Valnes

Trivial history

Knowing that we live in the flow of change is something anyone interested in learning or in history, or in learning history, might want to learn to appreciate rather than to resist.

SandraDodd.com/history/zebrite
photo by Sandra Dodd

Highlight now

Our parents grew up in a different time, with different pressures and realities, and there's no profit in trying to persuade them they should've had the sensibilities you might have now (or that you're developing or would like to have). If you focus on what you want to do with and for your own children and why, the rest of the family can begin to fade in importance.



Customized, thoughtful choices
photo by Sandra Dodd

Peace and health

"Candy fed with love beats the heck out of broccoli eaten out of fear."

—Schuyler Waynforth

"Ramen in a happy environment is better than four dishes and a dessert in anger and sorrow."

—Sandra Dodd

Turns out it had been said before. See other quotes about eating a dinner of herbs, or a dry crust, or Twinkies and a Red Bull, here:
SandraDodd.com/eating/peace
photo by Janet Rohde Buzit

Individual needs

In an attempt to "be fair," parents can be very UNfair. Children don't all need the same things for the same amount of time. Measuring with rulers and timers and charts is often shortchanging one child or another. What they could use more than that is the opportunity to decide when they're finished for their own reasons.


SandraDodd.com/sharing
photo by Cátia Maciel

Pattern appreciation

People like patterns.

Most folks find symmetry soothing. Coincidences are fun.

Arranging food, or clothes, or hair, putting socks in drawers, stacking fire wood... feel richer from patterns you find, or create.

Pattern blocks and deep thoughts
photo by Holly Blossom
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Thames and shadow

It was a sunny day, in England, to get a shadow like that.

Shadows prove sunshine.

SandraDodd.com/light
2011 photo by Sandra Dodd, from the Royal Windsor Wheel
which is hardly ever there

Which came first...

Which came first, curiosity or learning? Exploration or knowledge?

If you're lucky, and open to it, they will tumble and leapfrog over one another in all the best times of your life.

Exploring
photo by Gail Higgins

Sun and water

Something we have in common with our most ancient ancestors, and our most distant cousins, is our need for water and sunlight.

For fun (and for learning, but don't think so much about that part), maybe let that be the theme of your thoughts and connections for an hour, or a day. Wheat and trees, birds and bugs, ice and steam, waterfalls and deserts, all can be considered and compared.

Some things must be wet, so it's a good thing there's water. Others need to stay dry, and the sun helps with that.

Make a happy game of exploring ideas.


SandraDodd.com/water
photo by Janine Davies

Sweetness and goodness

Find the best in each moment, the best moments in each hour, and by focusing on what is sweet and good, you will help others see the sweetness and goodness, too.

Happy memories
photo by Karen James

Quickie life improvement

Deep breaths change everything, for a few moments.

Smell imaginary flowers
photo by Sandra Dodd

Rainbow connections

If you can't connect ponies, rainbows, unicorns, Kermit, joy and immersion, read at the link below.

But I suppose you could, with a little thought, connect all those things one way or another.

SandraDodd.com/mlp
photo by Amber Ivey

Better than perfect

"Better" is better than perfect. Don't be competitive, with yourself or others. Aim for peace and improvement.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Gail Higgins

Finding learning

Finding learning in play is like the sun coming out on a dank, dark day.

---

That quote is old, and when I looked for a photo to go with it, I found one with great light (look at the rays from behind the people on the right), but no sun coming out, no day. Cool!

Learning happens at night, too.

SandraDodd.com/unschooling

http://sandradodd.com/latenightlearning
photo by Janine Davies

Lens

Sometimes the frame is as interesting as the view.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Diana Jenner

Consideration and learning

Unschooling should be about peaceful, supportive relationships, about modelling consideration and thoughtful choicemaking, and about learning.

Too Far, Too Fast
photo by Kate Hoskins

Fully to this moment

Caren Knox, writing about meditation:

I came across the concept of "householder yoga", which is different than "monk yoga". I came to allow mothering to be my practice, which benefited both my kids and my meditation. I realized expecting my practice to be like that of someone who sat in a cave for 30 days, or sat with a teacher for hours every day, wasn't beneficial; whatever brings me fully to this moment is.

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/breathing, or In the moment
photo by Megan Valnes

Temporary

Plants and fruit, paper boxes, tins of cookies... they're not to keep for life.

Enjoy and appreciate things and times and thoughts. Be grateful for sweet memories.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Dreamy

Dreamy.

"Dreamy" can be attractive, or otherworldly.

Dreams only take a moment, some say. "Dream big," others say.

Let ideas float and flit, dreamlike, through your waking and sleeping. You don't need to catch them all.

SandraDodd.com/learnnothingday/2009
photo by Lydia Koltai

Seen and appreciated

Life is made of little moments.

A good life is made of moments seen and appreciated.

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Karen James

Real and good

Every choice you make should be made consciously, thoughtfully, for real and good reasons.


SandraDodd.com/decisions
photo by Chrissy Florence

"I can do better next time."

If something goes wrong—car breaks down, electric bill isn't paid, yard flooded... What can be changed to help prevent it in the future?

One needs the ability to calmly look back and see what (if anything) they contributed to the failure.

I could say "Fords always break down; the power company SUCKS; my yard is stupid." But it's better to think "I should check the oil more often; paying the bill early is better than waiting til the last minute; I need to clear that drain so the water can flow out."


Spiritual/Existential Intelligence chat transcript
photo by Sandra Dodd

Natural / unnatural combo

"A big part of natural learning is absorbing ideas and letting them swirl around in the background. They clarify. They form connections. If the subject comes up again in a few months, you may be surprised how differently you're looking at what you were wondering about."

—Joyce Fetteroll

Sometimes natural and unnatural things combine in surprising ways, and that can be a fun part of the swirl.

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
Christmas cactus art and photo by Janine Davies

Layers

Many things have lots of layers.

"In-depth knowledge" is about knowing more than just the surface of an idea.

SandraDodd.com/becoming
photo by Sandra Dodd (up above the front door of my house, one day)
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Simple and life changing

Unschooling is not as easy as some people think it is. It can be fun, and simple, and life changing, if it is done deeply and thoroughly.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Cátia Maciel

Different ways, different days

My children discuss behavior and social interactions as easily as they discuss Nintendo or their own cats and dogs. When I was their age, psychology, comparative religion and anthropology were far in my future. My kids might not have much formal terminology, but they're extremely conversant and certainly can think in those areas without knowing they're too young (by the book) to do so. They understand well that there are many versions of historical events. They understand that there are different ways to act in different situations, and with people who have particular beliefs and preferences. Some adults could use knowing that.

SandraDodd.com/zeneverything
photo by Holly Dodd

Growing

"Time passes, they grow and they change and they move on in their interests and abilities."

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/bonding
photo by Julie D

Hard paths and soft ones

Some paths are solid and man-made. This one has beautiful tile on the step risers, but few people ever see it.

Some paths are worn into the dirt by animals, like cow trails. Sometimes kids can follow them where adults don't fit.

Other paths are proverbial, mental or imaginary. They lead from one thing to another, and on out of sight.

SandraDodd.com/awareness
photo by Sandra Dodd

Mess with chess

Sink-Like-a-Stone Method: Instead of skimming the surface of a subject or interest, drop anchor there for a while. If someone is interested in chess, mess with chess. Not just the game, but the structure and history of tournaments. How do chess clocks work? What is the history of the names and shapes of the playing pieces? What other board games are also traditional and which are older than chess? If you're near a games shop or a fancy gift shop, wander by and look at different chess sets on display. It will be like a teeny chess museum. The interest will either increase or burn out—don't push it past the child's interest.

When someone understands the depth and breadth of one subject, he will know that any other subject has breadth and depth.

SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Sandra Dodd
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All seasons

Time out.

It's December, and I live at a high elevation at 35 degrees latitude. It's freezing.

I like this butterfly photo from Chrissy, though. And it's good to remember that Just Add Light and Stir has readers near the equator, in India and Hawaii; in New Zealand, Australia, South Africa; in Alaska, Canada, Scotland. Maybe it's winter, maybe it's summer, maybe the days are long, or short.

We can all share this butterfly and blue sky today.

SandraDodd.com/geography
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Gentle with a child

We make choices ALL the time. Learning to make better ones in small little ways, immediate ways, makes life bigger and better. Choosing to be gentle with a child, and patient with ourselves, and generous in ways we think might not even show makes our children more gentle, patient and generous.

SandraDodd.com/haveto
photo by Lydia Koltai

Theoretical broccoli

If my kids watched TV for hours each day, I might not be a good person to listen to about this, but I'll say it again: Unlimited access to TV and to food in my house has produced kids who only watch TV when they want to, and who only eat what they want to eat which is NOT a bunch of candy.


Holly asked for broccoli Tuesday. I bought some and cooked it before I knew she had gone to her friend's for an overnighter (she got the invite and left while I was shopping). So yesterday she asked about it, I reheated it and brought it to her at the TV where she was playing a game, waiting for the Simpsons to come on. She finished that bowl of broccoli, salt and butter, and asked for more with less butter.

I cooked the rest of it, and she ate most of it.

When The Simpsons ended she was done with the TV.

This isn't theoretical broccoli or TV, it was yesterday.

---

[It was 2001, sixteen years ago, but I wrote it the day after it happened.
Holly was nine years old.]

True Tales of Kids Turning Down Sweets
photo by Kate Green-Bagy
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Coolness

Practice being accepting of whatever cool things come along, and providing more opportunities for coolness to unfold.

SandraDodd.com/mindfulofwords
photo by Janine

Running in the fog

Once there was heavy fog at our house. Kirby was four or five. He had never seen it at all, and this was as thick as I have ever seen fog. He wanted to go and touch it. I yelled "Let's go!" and we ran up the road, and ran, and ran. About seven houses up we got tired, and I said "Look" and pointed back toward our house, which was gone in the fog.

I did not say "See? You can't touch it, really, it's touching us, it's all around us."
I didn't say "Let's don't bother, it's just the same wherever in there you are."

I let him experience the fog. He learned by running in fog and smelling it, and losing his house in it.



Learning to See Differently
photo by Sandra Dodd, of snow on plastic netting

This post first appeared in February 2011; there are comments there.

Snow-ho-ho

If you're on a computer, you can play with A Special View
Image by Rochelle, at ceeworks on Fiverr by

The abundance around you

"On our walk, I was contemplating finances, and was stressed 'til I remembered to notice the abundance around me: uncountable leaves on a tree, innumerable blades of grass... Yes, my life is rich. Nice."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Gail Higgins