Friday, October 3, 2014

In the moment

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

There are times in life that you won't feel like you can take care of others around you as well as you'd like. You need nurturing yourself and other people's neediness starts to be draining on you.

I've felt that, too.

But I've also found that if I focus more on "seeing" my kids with loving-eyes focus, consciously choose to pay attention to what I love about them, then I actually begin to feel more nourished and strengthened by them,
a dad and three kids, reading something on a laptop
and by the very acts of caring for them.

Partly what is so draining is that your mind is on other things while your kids want your attentiveness on them. So you feel pulled and that is stressful. If you can, try to stop thinking about the other stuff and focus on the little details of what you're doing at the moment. If your child wants pasta at midnight (just happened here), then you go put the water in the pot and put it on the stove. While you're doing that, concentrate on feeling the coldness of the water, the heaviness of the pot as it fills with water. Hear the sound of the water running.

It is late and I'm not being as articulate as I'd like—but what I'm saying is to practice being totally "in the moment" by noticing every sensation—sound, touch, smell, etc. Especially do this in regard to your children—touch them, smell them, listen to the sound of their voices, and so on.

Even if you only manage to get into this heightened state of mind for a minute or two at a time, do it as often as you think of it throughout your day. Each minute will be refreshing—it is a form of meditation that you can do while you're going about your daily activities.
—Pam Sorooshian
photo by Janice Casamina Ancheta


  1. The photographer wrote something great!


    This photo was taken the day after I was discharged from the hospital with a newly diagnosed platelet problem. So it really fits with the writing from Pam that you included in the same email!

    At the time of the photo, my platelet count was so low that I could get a huge bruise from a light or regular touch. I usually play with my boys physically - wrestling, running, cuddling - so this was definitely a time when I felt I couldn't do everything I usually do for them. I also had no energy left with all of the medication on board. This photo captured a time when my husband really stepped up to care for all of us. I was appreciating the moment at a safe distance with an ailing body but with a full heart.

    Thank you for making my day!

    PS - please feel free to share if you think this will help anyone.

  2. Thanks for another beautiful piece. Being more present to my girls is the most amazing gift I have done for myself since I became a mom. The more in the moment I am with them, the easier it gets and the more I want to be in the moment with them...


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