Seeing gifts

Colleen Prieto, April 2013

We just watched a documentary called Lost Castles of England. My 10 year old loves Star Trek and so he was particularly thrilled that it was narrated by Leonard Nimoy. 🙂

We paused - oh - probably at least 25 times during the documentary to look up things ranging from "When was the Bronze Age?" and "What exactly is Stonehenge anyway?" to "Who were the Normans?" and "How exactly big is England?" and "They killed the garrison... What's a garrison??"

We also paused a bunch of times as he described how he's going to be getting up early tomorrow to start work in Minecraft right away - he plans to build a motte-and-bailey timber castle, as described in the documentary. He asked me to keep the documentary in our Netflix queue so he can refer to it as needed for the particulars.

When the show ended, he stood up from the couch and proclaimed "That was AWESOME. And the whole time it was Spock. Spock just GIVING you interesting history stuff!!!"

It hit me right away that he didn't say "Spock teaching you history" or "A show teaching you history" or anything about teaching at all. He doesn't see things in terms of Being Taught. In his mind, he received a gift of new knowledge and facts this evening. A gift given by Spock, which made it all the better. 🙂

—Colleen Prieto

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Note from Sandra:
Colleen's son, Robbie, is twenty years old, as I share this. The story above has been on the page about "learning" for a long time, quietly helping others.

What Teaching Never Can Be
photo by Sandra Dodd

Rejoice

Connections and parodies, comparisons and contrasts—learning is all about seeing what is like what, and how an image, idea or object can apply or fit where.

Don't be afraid of happy connections and rearrangements. Rejoice!

Webs, nets, connections
Robbie Prieto's nativity scene, once upon a time;
photo by Colleen Prieto, his mom

Attentively, solidly, and well

DO IT. Do it attentively, solidly, and do it well. THEN you can relax. If you relax at the beginning and don't really become an unschooling parents of a thriving unschooling child, it can amount to confusion, frustration and neglect.

SandraDodd.com/doit
art by Robert and Robbie Prieto; photo by some Prieto or another

Priceless and profound

One of the greatest benefits of unschooling is the relationship with the child, and the changing attitudes of those in the family toward learning and being. Being a parent one is proud to be is priceless and profound.

The healing of one's own childhood wounds and the recovery from school are like little bonus miracles.

How Robbie saw unschooling in swans
photo by Nicole Kenyon
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Practice, quietly...

Sometimes parents talk too much.

Practice being quiet.

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Robbie Prieto
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Helpful and respectful

The most to be accomplished from punishing or sending bored kids away is that the kids will learn not to go to that parent for advice and ideas.

Sometimes the real message behind "I'm bored" is "I'm little and feeling agitated and vaguely unhappy and I don't know what I can do to get over this uncomfortable feeling. What would you do if you were my age, in this house, on a day like this?"

I think that deserves a helpful, respectful response.

SandraDodd.com/BoredNoMore
Lego art by Robbie and Robert Prieto (photo by Robert)

Seeing many things

Seeing layers is good. Depth of field applies not just to visuals, but to awareness in other areas too. Consider as many factors as you can, whether in images, patterns, ideas or words.

SandraDodd.com/angles
photo by Colleen and Robbie Prieto
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A lot of DOING

I think unschoolers should let their kids do what they want all day in an attentive and enriched environment.

The parents should be facilitators of natural learning, providing new and interesting things for their kids to experience, being supportive of their children's interests, providing them materials and experiences with music, food, art, materials...

It's a lot of DOING, and being, and learning, for years and years.

SandraDodd.com/neglect (cheery neglect)
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Robbie Prieto's Viking ship
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Kids blossom

Kids blossom and get bigger from doing adult things because they want to, instead of kid-things they have to do because they're small.

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Colleen Prieto
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Count one. One. One.

If every day you help a child gently, generously, directly, personally, that's hundreds of times a year.

By the time that child is fifteen, then you will have helped him, or her, thousands of times.

Sandra Dodd, from a talk given in Minnesota in 2013 and Gold Coast 2014.
photo by Robbie Prieto

Any and all

Unschooling allows free use of any and all bits of information, not just school's small set. A grid based first on cartoon characters or the history of ice skating can be expanded just as well as one built on a second-grade version of the discovery of North America and the made-up characters in some beginning-reader series. If the goal is to know everything, and if each person's internal "universe" is unique, then the order in which the information is acquired isn't as important as the ease and joy with which it is absorbed.

SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Robbie Prieto
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Swans

Colleen Prieto wrote:

I took this photo the other day. The second Robbie saw it he said right away, "Whoa - that really says something about unschooling there."


I hadn't thought about it as being about unschooling, and so I asked "What's that?"

He answered "Cuz the kid is going ahead of the parent and the parent is coming along where the kid wants to go and, well, it's all metaphorical—you know?"

He sees parallels to his life, even in swans. It makes me happy.

This page has trails to follow: SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Colleen Prieto

Bored No More

The most to be accomplished from punishing or sending bored kids away is that the kids will learn not to go to that parent for advice and ideas.

Sometimes the real message behind "I'm bored" is "I'm little and feeling agitated and vaguely unhappy and I don't know what I can do to get over this uncomfortable feeling. What would you do if you were my age, in this house, on a day like this?"

I think that deserves a helpful, respectful response.

SandraDodd.com/BoredNoMore
Lego art by Robbie and Robert Prieto (photo by Robert)

Valuing Scooby-Doo

Colleen Prieto was talking to her son Robbie, who is nine, about "Frankenstorm." Below is Colleen's account:

He thought for no more than a second, and then very excitedly told me:

"Mom, Frankenstein is not evil. People just think he's evil but he's not - he's just trying to be good even though he's failing. Even though I haven't read the book or saw the movie if they make one, I know that pretty much from Scooby Doo. So we have nothing to worry about with the hurricane if now it's Frankenstorm because Frankenstein is good. If we were supposed to be scared, then they should have picked a better name!"

Many, many times in my daily life with my son, I am reminded that there is value in so very many things—be those things Scooby Doo or Pokemon or Star Wars or Harry Potter or 1,000 other "easy to criticize" forms of media or entertainment. Life is so much more fun when you look to the happy parts, look for the good, and keep an open mind.

Scooby-Doo, Frankenstein, and a Big Storm
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Do it.

Until a person stops doing the things that keep unschooling from working,
unschooling can't begin to work.

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SandraDodd.com/doit
title art by Robert and Robbie Prieto