Practical positivity

From a half-secret page on mental health (my writing, Marta's collection):

If a person with marked highs and lows gets too involved with depressing politics or scary or sad this'n'that, or doesn't gather a tool box of self-soothing thoughts and behaviors (breathing, walking, sending birthday cards and thank you cards to other people, singing, playing sports—different sets for different people, but some positive, uplifting habits), the low can turn to a depression that isn't easy to rise out of, and can be nearly impossible to function from.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth2
photo by Linda Wyatt

Many things

Few things are just one thing. Most things are many things.

Karen James is doing ceramics these days, and so her bowls are a hobby, a collection, a puzzle to fit safely into the cabinet, or efficiently into the dishwasher. They are also dishes, and bowls.

Thinking about what things are is philosophy, and language, and a puzzle.

Liking your dishes is good for your mental health. Liking hobbies, collections and puzzles will make life better.

SandraDodd.com/dishes
photo by Karen James

Five solid tools

Alex Arnott wrote:

Principles of unschooling that have helped me relate differently with my own highly active nervous system:

1. expanding awareness to include all the joy life offers rather than zooming in on the negative;
2. developing a habit of questioning the assumptions my mind make about potential dangers...learning not to take all my thoughts so seriously all the time;
3. developing mindfulness to slow down when my mind feels chaotic so I can reconnect with my values which in turn helps create the condition to make better choices;
4. learning the joy and privilege of being of service to others...I cannot overstate how vital this has been for my mental health. It’s helped me reconnect to others in meaningful ways;
5. deliberately choosing love, which is a wonderful antidote to fear/anger.

These are just a few examples of what’s helped me learn how to be solid in the face of anxious personality traits.

—Alex Arnott

Parenting Peacefully
photo by Karen James

Emotional banking

People who cling to their right to hate things will have hatred in their lives.

It's worth rephrasing, rethinking, turning away, moving away from things you wanted to "hate." There are enough things you can find to enjoy.

Emotions are kind of like banking, in a way. If you deposit peaceful times and kindness and positive thoughts and joy, then you build up a stronger account of hope and all that.

Happy goes in the bank.

from the transcript of a chat on Mental Health
Kimchi and the photo of it were both made by Alex Polikowsky.
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Bank it up!

Emotions are kind of like banking, in a way. If you deposit peaceful times and kindness and positive thoughts and joy, then you build up a stronger account of hope and all that.

Happy goes in the bank.

from the transcript of a chat on Mental Health
Chrissy Florence photo
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Go for healthy.

There is a difference between lack-of-mental-illness and mental health. What I mean is that one is not right on the edge of the other. There is a large land between being incapacitated and being really healthy and energetic and usful to other people. Don't settle for barely-back. Go for healthy.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Health and contentment

I think learning happened better here when our focus changed to their mental health and feelings of contentment.

Sandra Dodd, quoted by Joyce Fetteroll at
The Unschooling Philosophy
photo by Celeste Burke
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Dance around; save the world

by Deb Lewis, once upon a time:

I wrote once before about how dish washing has come to be my mental health moment. I light a candle, I make some tea or pour a glass of wine, turn on some music, take off my shoes, and do just the dishes I want to do. I use dish soap that smells great—LOVE that hot water...sigh. I never start out feeling like I *have to* do *all* the dishes. I think how I want to have clean dishes and do however many I feel like doing. I dance around a little. I plan my garden. I save the world. It's never just about doing dishes.

—Deb Lewis

Feeling "taken advantage of"
mostly-unrelated photo by Deb Lewis
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Bigger and wiser

Lisa Haugen wrote:

As I learn about myself and move toward being a person who is confident and secure and happy with who I am, that need to define what I like or don't like or agree or don't agree with has lessened quite a bit. I don't feel like less of a defined person because I've stopped having firm, clear lines around what I like or don't; I feel like more of a person—like my brain and my heart and my soul are so much bigger and wiser than I ever thought they could be, and I know myself much better.

—Lisa J Haugen

Mental Health ideas and links for unschoolers
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Unschooling Philosophy

In the paperwork I filled out for a conference organizer, I was asked to describe my unschooling philosophy, and wrote:

I see unschooling as the ideal application of the 1960's and 70's "Open Classroom" methods, unlimited by school's schedules and physical limitations, but based in the research about human learning and optimal conditions for children's mental health and growth. In a rich, peaceful environment, learning happens all the time.



SandraDodd.com/interview.html
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a bird's nest in England

Results of Unschooling

I can't really speak to any "end results," because they're still growing and experiencing the newness of many firsts in their lives. If there is ever an "end," the results won't matter anymore. But as long as life continues, the results unfold.

Are my children better friends and better employees because of the freedom they had? It seems so. What kind of managers will they be when they're in positions to make decisions about other people's employment?

When they marry will they be good partners? Would that be an "end result"? What kind of parents will they be?

What kind of neighbors will they be? How will their long-term health be affected by their early freedom to make their own choices? Will they be more or less likely to be binge eaters, substance abusers, or hypochondriacs? When they're old, will they still be active and interesting? Will their early freedoms affect their geriatric physical and mental health? I don't know, and probably won't be around to see.

In this window of time, though, I am satisfied. The peace and joy with which they live attests to the success of our attachment parenting and unschooling. Our lives are entwined and growing. The end result of twenty-one years of parenting as mindfully and as peacefully as I could is that I am content with the outcome. Someday I might report on the end result of twenty-five or thirty years of parenting, as life burgeons on.

SandraDodd.com/magicwindow, 2007
photo by Sandra Dodd
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