Quiet trust

"Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Cátia Maciel

Breathing

"Three deep breaths are magical." —Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/breathing
photo by Denaire Nixon

Better and happier days

Caren Knox wrote:

The bulk of what was challenging for me was changing internally, not just in parenting beliefs and thoughts about learning, but acknowledging & feeling the very deep connection my sons and I share.

. . . . I found the more I trusted and allowed my heart to open to my sons, the better and happier our days were.

—Caren Knox

Do it Well
photo by Dan Vilter

Attention and interaction

Caren Knox wrote:

I've come to realize that my kids need ME—not just in the same room, not just nearby, but by my attention and interaction—my full self.. . . .
Awareness that you're making these choices is very powerful.

—Caren Knox
(dharmamama)

Mindful Parenting
photo by Lydia Koltai

Your full self

"I've come to realize that my kids need ME, not just in the same room, not just nearby, but by my attention and interaction—my full self."

—Caren Knox, 2009

More by Caren Knox
photo by Elaine Santana
__

In every moment

Caren Knox / dharmamamma, when her kids were young:

We learn through all five senses, frequently the sixth, and through connection with each other. We learn from books, from magazines, from movies and TV and You Tube Poop. We learn from Barbies, from guns and swords and Bionicles and Legos. We learn through talking, through watching and asking, or waiting. We learn through cooking, shopping, eating, eliminating. We learn from driving or riding the bus or walking or biking. We learn by listening to music, or playing an instrument or singing or banging a rhythm on the table. We learn through living, whatever life looks like that day, whether it's a trip to Discovery Place and the library or a day of not getting off the couch because we're so hooked by David Tennant as Dr. Who we watch all the episodes on the XBox.

There are as many ways to learn as there are... people. Multiplied by infinite ways to learn. Learning's not an event, it's in every moment.

—Caren Knox

How do they Learn?—Caren Knox
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

What lights them up?

Caren Knox wrote:

The most effective thing I did to help my sons be their whole, individual, unharmed selves was to support, encourage, and enrich their interests, choices, and enjoyments - even when I feared that their choices might have negative repercussions, or their choices made me feel uncomfortable.            . . . . Look at your kids, watch your kids. What lights them up? Do & support more of that. —Caren Knox

original, on facebook
photo by Amber Ivey

They learned and learned

Caren Knox wrote:

I undertook learning how to be a good unschooling mom, and in that learning, experienced some of the most powerful personal growth and healing I’d ever seen in myself. I learned how to be vulnerable with and genuinely present for my guys.

They learned — and learned and learned, without having to be subject to someone else’s imposed timeline of when to learn what, without being limited to staying in a building 6-7 hours a day, five days a week, without having to pretend to learn something to pass a test, without having their grades determine their path. They freely explored their interests, utilized their own strengths and perspectives, and learned, and, as adults, continue to learn.

—Caren Knox

Original, on facebook
photo by Ester Siroky

Building the foundation

Caren Knox wrote:

In addition to this time being short, and precious, you are building the foundation of natural learning in your home. Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them. Some of the core values of natural learning are trust, support, joy, and freedom. You are putting up scaffolding for years and years of learning by the choices you make now.

—Caren Knox

"Are we stuck?"
photo by Gail Higgins

Photos can't show it.

Sometimes clouds and mountains make dramatic art of themselves. I wish I could share it with people who live in flatlands, or where they can't see a long way. Photos never show it. Sometimes one provides a breathtaking peek, but when you see a picture of beautiful clouds on mountains, remember that the view was many miles wide and might have gone on up into the sky so high you would fall over backwards trying to see it all.

Caren Knox saved and shared this in 2014. I had posted it without a photo, and will do so again here. Caren matched it with this post, which does have an image: Simply seeing

Meditation for moms

When a question about meditation came up, years back, Caren Knox shared:

I've done it different ways, at different times of my life. Mostly, as described - sitting, focusing on the breath, noticing thoughts, not getting carried away by them. And if I get carried away, when I "return", calmly return my focus to the breath, without letting thoughts of "Oh, no! I got carried away!" carry me away again. ...

When the boys were younger, I'd sit when I could, but I noticed that thoughts of "needing" to meditate were pulling me away from the moment *with them*. So I'd get centered in that moment, breathing (three deep breaths is magical), noticing sounds, smells, where my body was. Momentary, but being able to be in the moment changed & flavored the next moment, and shifted it toward peace.

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/breathing or SandraDodd.com/meditation
photo by Ester Siroky
__

Share this contagion!

As my kids get older...I'm seeing more vividly the results of parenting choices, not just in them, but in their more conventionally parented peers, as well. Generosity begets generosity.

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/generosity
photo by Colleen Prieto
___

And behind that...

Think of something. What's on the other side of that? Remember something. What came before that? Imagine something. What could follow? See something. Remember there is more than you can see.

The words are new, but this is a cousin:
Perspective: Looking back, looking around

photo by Caren Knox, who described it as
"La bella luna, flirting from behind our tree"
___

Trust; it's true

Caren Knox wrote:

Trust is a vital foundation to building an unschooling home. If kids can't trust that what their parents are saying is true, their foundation is shaky, perilous. That affects their ability to learn, and harms the relationship they have with the world (and their parents).

Why bring a negative force into the home?

If you're used to sarcasm and other lying, it might take practice to learn to speak honestly. It can feel vulnerable and risky. It is worth it. You'll soon be able to feel if what you are about to say is true — really true — and you'll develop the ability to stop, breathe, and change what you're saying if needed.

—Caren Knox

Deposit the good stuff.
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Fully to this moment

Caren Knox, writing about meditation:

I came across the concept of "householder yoga", which is different than "monk yoga". I came to allow mothering to be my practice, which benefited both my kids and my meditation. I realized expecting my practice to be like that of someone who sat in a cave for 30 days, or sat with a teacher for hours every day, wasn't beneficial; whatever brings me fully to this moment is. —Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/breathing, or In the moment
photo by Megan Valnes

The abundance around you

"On our walk, I was contemplating finances, and was stressed 'til I remembered to notice the abundance around me: uncountable leaves on a tree, innumerable blades of grass... Yes, my life is rich. Nice."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Gail Higgins

In bits & pieces

Caren Knox wrote:

I don't even think about learning any more. It's not something I can quantify, or say how it's happening for anyone other than me — and quite frequently, I can't for me, either. It's organic. It's in bits & pieces so small we don't notice.

It's in this or that conversation, chance meeting, or something we come across on google. I can say, "I want to learn the lyrics to I'm Yours" so I google that, but who can say what I learn along the way?...

—Caren Knox

How do they learn? (Caren Knox responding)
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Three

"Three deep breaths are magical." —Caren Knox

from a presentation called "Swimming in This Moment," September 2, 2017
SandraDodd.com/breathing
photo by Amber Ivey

Just add peace and stir

"Reading 'Just Add Light & Stir', then the link-following that follows has saved me from negative-mind-spiraling quite often recently."

—Caren Knox

She wrote that after having quoted this:

"The more local and personal peace there is, the more peace there will be in the world."

—Sandra Dodd

Knowing Peace
photo by Sarah Dickinson
__

Closer and better

"The ONLY way I've learned how to be a more present, more caring, generous partner with my kids was by being with them, trying on choices closer and closer to radical unschooling, learning from those choices, then choosing again, better, each time (most times)."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/bonding
photo by Megan Valnes
__