"Thank you"

A good project for this season: Maybe send a thank-you note.
Not to me.

Send a thank-you note to someone who has helped you this year, or maybe deliver one by hand to the nicest person at your grocery store, or a neighbor who smiles and waves.

Maybe someone has been nice to you online, and you could send an e-mail or a facebook message.


SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd
___

Knuckles, the past and the future

Thirty days hath September,
All the rest I can't remember.
The calendar hangs on the wall;
Why bother me with this at all?

That's a rhyme that goes around, in protest of a longer and more complicated thing kids used to be pressed to memorize. Some of those kids are still alive, but the antique "hath" remains.


Times change, though. People don't flip through calendars on the wall so much as they ask Siri or Google, or look at the calendar on the iPad. Phones know what date it is, and what time zone you're in.


Go to this page to see how to calculate month lengths with your knuckles: SandraDodd.com/months
image by Andrew and Glenda Sikes
__

Solid and reliable

Integrity is a strong wholeness. The fabric of the being of a thing can't be broken. A bucket with one hole in it is lacking integrity. It's not a good bucket. A frayed rope lacks integrity. No matter how long or strong the rest of the rope is, that frayed part keeps it from being a good rope.. . . .


It's exactly why every person who hopes to have a positive influence on any other person needs to figure out how to find and maintain as much integrity as possible.

SandraDodd.com/integrity
photo by Sandra Dodd

Good judgment?

Without "judgment," how on earth can someone "use good judgment"?

SandraDodd.com/judgment
photo by Sandra Dodd, of King Alfred, in Wantage
__

Building or breaking

Every time you speak or act, you build or break. The softer you can be, the more whole they will be.

SandraDodd.com/direction
photo by Sandra Dodd

Pouring out peace

The more peace the mom pours out, the more peace there is to share.

SandraDodd.com/peace
(It could be the dad pouring out peace, of course
but in the course of that discussion, the word "mom" made sense.)
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Expectations

"I suspect that any time a parent new to unschooling starts thinking 'This isn't working' it is because they are holding on to an expectation.

"Expectations can get in the way of seeing what is really happening."

—Robyn Coburn

SandraDodd.com/expectations or Attentes
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a house key in The Netherlands
__

Bafflement and befuddlement

Wonder is great—that kind of respectful awe. But if you were in a state of wonder all the time, that would be bafflement.

---

The note above was written on a piece of paper I was carrying around with me. Probably I was working on a presentation on wonder. I like the word "bafflement" and I liked "befuddled," but try not to stay in those states long, because your kids need for you to be clear and sharp.

SandraDodd.com/clarity
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Learning that looks like play

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Learning that's pulled in will look like play. It will look like kids engaged with what interests them. That might be a video game or helping rake the yard or TV shows or getting a job to earn money or taking classes in college.

The unnerving thing is that it looks like very little is going in! But the important-to-learning part happens inside: kids pull in information to use it for reasons that matter to them. They use it to solve problems. They use it to create and test theories of how the world works. What you use, sticks with you.

—Joyce Fetterol

SandraDodd.com/hsc/interviews/joyce
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Circumstances and consequences

Questions such as "How important is this, really?" and "What's the worst that can happen?" change people's perspectives in several directions. They might decide the project really is pressing and urgent, but the difference will be that they considered the circumstances, the consequences, a range of choices, and made that decision.

From "Changes in the Parents," page 268 (or 309), The Big Book of Unschooling
which links to SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd

If you think that photo has been used before, you might be thinking of this one, from a different London city bus, at the same museum.

Counting and measuring

Measuring, weighing and counting can be fun!

Try not to measure, weigh or count relationships or learning, though. Learn not to keep count in the areas of knowledge or effort or interest.

Give, give, give
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

"Ahead" of what?

I saw an advertisement on the side of some webpage, aimed at me. "Homeschooling," I saw out the corner of my eye. It asked me whether I didn't want to make sure my child was ahead.

"Ahead" of what? Ahead of himself? That's considered a bad thing. "Don't get ahead of yourself," people say.

"Ahead" of other people? What's the rush?

When the traffic is slow on the freeway, sometimes someone will zoom along the shoulder and try to squeeze in. Why? It's not helpful. It's not polite. It's not safe.

My children are grown. They grew slowly, safely, politely, and I've always tried to be helpful. They weren't ahead. They were right where they were, all day, every day. There they still are, where they're used to being. They are themselves, here and now.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Sandra Dodd

Science

The fundamental core of science is learning, and by definition it should involve discovery! Learning directly and indirectly about what people know and how they know it and what they do with it that has been helpful and harmful to themselves and the planet is much more than just science. It's history, geography and ethics.

SandraDodd.com/science
photo by Sandra Dodd
(click to enlarge)

A state of curiosity

In early 2008, sharing some interesting connections that had happened at our house, I wrote:

That all 'just happened,' but it happened because we've been building up to it with our whole lives and our whole style of communicating and living together in a constant state of open curiosity.
. . . .
Once you start looking for connections and welcoming them, it creates a kind of flow that builds and grows.

SandraDodd.com/connections/example
Photo by Sandra Dodd
__