When I had been unschooling for several years, I still dreaded and joked about how different it would be when I had teens. I expected what I thought was "natural" and what was probably inevitable teenaged behavior.
It turns out that much of what is considered "normal teen behavior" is a normal reaction to many years of school, and to being controlled and treated as children and school kids and students rather than as full, thoughtful human beings.
Being wrong doesn't bother me one bit when the truth is so much better than my fears and predictions!
photo by Sandra Dodd, 2005 at a movie-character theme party
Kirby as Casey Jones from the first Ninja Turtle movie
Marty as Dr. Strangelove (←click there to see him in the chair with glasses)
and Holly as Addie Pray from Paper Moon
__
This came by e-mail, but it's beautiful, so I've "anonomized" it to share:
ReplyDelete++++++++++++++++++++++++
[My daughter} (16) is part of a science competition with "always schooled" kids. They are required to present and then answer follow-up questions which sometimes requires them to "make up" answers. She told the others on the team that she is really bad at lying. One of her teammates said, "Kids with really strict parents are better at lying. Our parents have so many stupid rules, it's easier just to lie."
Lying is probably considered one of those "typical" teenaged behaviors. It reminded me of what you (and others) have written about arbitrary rules and their consequences; the negative assumptions that set kids up to fail and your prior post about mindlessly following in the footsteps of our parents while implementing their methods and words.
I really can't thank you enough for helping me think differently. [She] doesn't feel like she "needs" to lie or give an answer when she doesn't know the answer. We haven't always been unschooled so it's so exciting for me to see all of the positives that come from this new way of thinking and living. Please be encouraged that you are helping my family and many more.
Growing in confidence (and glad to be wrong),
[Name]