SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Sarah Dickinson
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Instead of childproofing the world, worldproof your child. |
Sandra Dodd, response in 2000 to: Can anyone explain to me "unschooling"?
It's like "just say no."
Just say no to school years and school schedules and school expectations, school habits and fears and terminology. Just say no to separating the world into important and unimportant things, into separating knowledge into math, science, history and language arts, with music, art and "PE" set in their less important little places.
Most of unschooling has to happen inside the parents. They need to spend some time sorting out what is real from what is construct, and what occurs in nature from what only occurs in school (and then in the minds of those who were told school was real life, school was a kid's fulltime job, school was more important than anything, school would keep them from being ignorant, school would make them happy and rich and right).
It's what happens after all that school stuff is banished from your life.
I don't want to spend my volunteer time telling people what to do. I AM willing to help people move away from needing that, and toward seeing that WHY to do things will help them figure out hundreds and thousands of whats and whens and wheres. |
Why does...? Who will...? When did...? Where are...? What is...? Do you...? Can I...? | Because... I think... Let's ask... We can look... As far as I know... Sometimes. Yes. |
If life is a busy, happy swirl, they will learn. Learning is guaranteed. The range and content will vary, but the learning will happen. |
"I really have to be vigilant on myself and try not to control."
You don't need to control yourself to keep yourself from being controlling. Make generous, kind choices, over and over, as often as you can. |
"Be their support system. I want so much for my kids to grow up and hear that mommy voice in their head saying positive supportive things, not tearing them down, but encouraging them—and especially not a voice to be resisted." —Pam Sorooshian |
Try to ease guilt and expectation and pressure. Those don't help the family unit. |
If by "change the world" a person means "make the world better," then step #1 must be to decide right then not to make the world worse. |
Plan on doing most of the cleaning for awhile. Better yet, plan on doing ALL of the cleaning for awhile, and whenever someone else pitches in, you may appreciate it more. Try not to look at it as "I have to do it all!", because you don't have to do it all. There's always a choice. If you don't feel like cleaning today, then don't. Will the house get messier? Yup. Is it a big deal? Shouldn't be. ... Cleaning doesn't have to be a big deal. Don't make it a big deal and your kids may be more inclined to follow in your footsteps. —Lyle Perry |
Question: “How do you transition kids from rules and chore lists if the kids are older?” Answer: “Go gradually. Don’t enforce so much. If they say, ‘I’m tired,’ then say, ‘Go to bed.’ Don’t make a big announcement, ‘We’re now unschooling.’ Just start saying yes more. If kids can only drink one soda a day and have to go to bed at a specific time, they often grow up to have dreams of drinking lots of soda and staying up late — and don’t we want kids to have bigger, loftier dreams than that?” |
In my life I put learning first. I always ask myself, which thing will help them learn more?
Unschoolers have experiences other homeschoolers don’t have. Unschoolers know things that teachers can’t learn in or around school. Unschoolers who start early enough can have relationships with their children for which there are hardly any words. |
"Teaching" is a problem, in an unschooling light. Learning is the goal, and teaching gets in the way. |