Where to look

Rippy Dusseldorp wrote:

I don't really look to other mothers for validation on how I'm doing as a parent. I look to my children and my husband. If they are generally happy, relaxed, comfortable and engaged, I feel pretty good about how I'm doing....

If I see signs of frustration or stress or uneasiness in my family, there are alarm bells going off inside me telling me I need to be kinder, pay extra close attention, have more ideas, and offer more options."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

In a discussion on the Always Learning discussion group
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Inventory your tools

Inventory your own tools. What do you already know that can make you a more peaceful parent? What tricks and skills can you bring into your relationships with members of your family?
. . . .

As you move toward peace, remember you can't have all of anything in one move. Each thought or action can move you nearer, though (or further).
SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd, through glass
("It's the thought that counts.")
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Hopeful and helpful

Be up! Be happy when you can. Be hopeful and helpful! Everyone who can do that makes the world a better place.

SandraDodd.com/feedback
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a preemie calf, still damp
and a matching, watchful cat
at Alex Polikowsky's farm

The parts that fascinate you

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Real learning looks like doing a billion piece jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes you'll work on a dragon down in the corner. Sometimes you'll work on a cat in the center. Sometimes you'll work on the bits that are red. Sometimes you'll work on the frame. Eventually you'll discover what connects the dragon and the cat. You'll work on whatever interests you. And eventually there will be a rich collection of individual bits that form a bigger picture. But since it's a billion pieces you'll never do the whole thing. You'll just do the parts that fascinate you. —Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/reallearning
photo by Sandra Dodd

When it flows

When unschooling is working best, nobody is talking about learning. Saying "We're doing this so you will learn" will make the activity awkward, and you set up an expectation, and the possibility of failure to learn. When unschooling really flows, everyone will learn, but you won't know in advance what will be learned.

The quote is from an exchange on facebook, but try:
SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Sandra Dodd

Vibrant, healthy and active

I can see how vibrant, healthy, and active both of them are. They love to go outside, run with their friends, ride bikes, dig in the dirt, go swimming, catch fireflies, climb trees, and tons of other things. And they also love watching TV and playing computer games. I can look at them directly, without any fear, and see that they are whole and that our relationship is remaining intact because I respect the things they love and support choices they make."

—Susan May

Either/Or Thinking and "Screen Time"
photo by Sarah Dickinson

The children described aren't the same as those pictured,
but they're all unschoolers.
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Ask questions about life

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Think in terms of nurturing your own enthusiasm about life rather than nurturing their enthusiasm. Don't jump up and down about George Washington if he puts you to sleep. Be honest in your pursuit of what interests you. Let them see that you think something is really cool. Not to get them interested in something you think would be good for them but an honest "Wow! I love this stuff!" And ask questions about life. Be curious. Because it's the questions that are important. Anyone can look up the answers but not everyone can ask the questions.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/talk
(includes a link to a new French translation)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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