Pretty cool.

Kids really can (and do!!) learn *so* much in the absence of school and teachers. They learn so very well when they are allowed the time to explore and examine, question and Google, ponder and wonder—and they learn even better when they have the support of parents and other such people as they go after and capture the skills and knowledge that they desire. Pretty cool.

—Colleen Prieto

SandraDodd.com/knowledge
photo by Sandra Dodd

Clearer and better

Karen James wrote:

Be precise in the words you use to describe those you love, aim to support and care for. Be as generous as you can too. The clearer you see your child, the better you can respond to their needs. The better you learn to listen to them, see them, and be of useful service to them, the more they will have confidence in your ability to have their best interest in mind.

—Karen James

Karen James
photo by Sandra Dodd

Help them explore

"Children will flourish if their needs are joyfully met as they explore the world. Creatively support your child in what he's genuinely interested in."

—Debbie Regan

SandraDodd.com/teaching/problem
photo by Sandra Dodd
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The surest path

Leah Rose wrote:

Learning to parent mindfully, keeping my focus in the present, making choices towards peace, towards help and support, is not, as it turns out, much of a gamble or a risk. It is the surest path to connection and trust.

—Leah Rose

SandraDodd.com/later/unschooling.html
photo by Julie D
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More positive, more nurturing

Commentary on it being bad advice for a stranger to say "follow your heart":

Making a "feeling" decision can not only bring down the family and bring down the child's opportunities, but it doesn't help the parent to lay out their own wounds to dry.

Logic is good.

So if a parent knows that she wants to be kinder, gentler, more positive, more nurturing, there are things that she can do—little changes she can make and decisions she can make that lead her toward that. And "follow your heart" is not a good one.

Unschooling Support: Extras with Sandra Dodd (recording and transcript)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Ways to support interests

Where some parents might brush off the very idea of pursuing a certain interest, unschooling parents will really try to find ways to support it, even if we can't jump in full-on right away.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/yesagain has examples
photo by Sandra Dodd

New, improved heart

Commentary on it being bad advice for a stranger to say "follow your heart":

Coming up with a plan to logically step, step, step by step away from the dark confusion of people's childhood memories, hidden ideas, frustrations, fears... Stepping away from that into the light is a better thing to do. Eventually they may get so good at this being-more-positive that it seems like they're following their heart—but it needs to be their new, improved, mindful heart.

Unschooling Support: Extras with Sandra Dodd
photo by Janine Davies
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Supporting change

Helping other people understand unschooling isn't easy. It can take months or years for people to get it. For natural learning to flourish with them, they need to change the way they act and even the way they see learning and education. In discussions and on message boards and at conferences, people's thinking can seem to have been criticized, and some object. They want the speakers or writers to soften up, ease up, "support them." There's a difference between supporting changing in order to better understand unschooling, and the vanilla "support" that women can become accustomed to. Nice noise and soothing words of praise are what many people think of as "support."

SandraDodd.com/support/problem
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Being more present will help.

When connection is good, parents see up close their children's needs, wishes, delights, hesitations, frustrations, joys, interests, ways, limitations and so on, and creatively support them there.

When connection is less good, parents sometimes see their children as needy, demanding or unreasonable, and focus on dealing with practicalities rather than on the child and her needs.

—Debbie Regan

SandraDodd.com/being
(but the quote is from an Always Learning post here)
photo by Colleen Prieto
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Reassurance

Joyce Fetteroll, to someone writing about "reassurance":

Seek reassurance in your daughter's smiles. Trust that it's a good thing if it makes her happy.

She doesn't want a textbook-perfect mother. She wants someone who is happy, relaxed, shares her interest in life, is delighted in her delight, who helps her get what she wants (in ways that are safe, respectful and doable). She wants you to look at her and see her rather than what the words "out there" say you should be seeing. She wants you to trust and support her, to be her partner as she explores life.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Shared lives

Parental encouragement, smiles, acceptance and support are what turn plain or unsettled life into magical and transformed shared lives.

How Unschooling Changes People
photo by Sandra Dodd

An atmosphere of support

"Don't become emotionally invested in your child's choices. If you want to invest your emotions, invest them in creating an atmosphere where kids feel supported in trying what appeals to them AND turning down what doesn't." —Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Sandra Dodd

Scaffolding

"Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them. Some of the core values of natural learning are trust, support, joy, and freedom. You are putting up scaffolding for years and years of learning by the choices you make now." —Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd

Support

Supporting someone or something requires strength and confidence.

Support is holding something up.
Support is upholding something.

Support your child. Lift him up above you.

New words, relating to older ideas:
SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo by Sandra Dodd
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When? Maybe not.

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

We can't always fix everything for our kids or save them from every hurt. It can be a delicate balancing act—when should we intervene, when should we stay out of the way? Empathy goes a long long way and may often be all your child needs or wants. Be available to offer more, but let your child be your guide. Maybe your child wants guidance, ideas, support, or intervention. Maybe not. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is distraction.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/pam/howto
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Focus on others

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Wanting your family to be happy, joyful and learning seems a perfectly fine goal! But you won't get there by focusing on what you want. You'll get there by focusing on what they want.

What are your kids interested in? What do they want? How can you support that?

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/deschooling has a bit more of that, near the bottom
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Nurturing our spirit

"[W]e are drawn to exploring ourselves, to finding that depth of engagement in life, with all its twists and turns and ups and downs. For maybe the first time we really see the value in nurturing our spirit. It stuns us. We marvel that the journey we started to fully and deeply support our children and their learning has turned so completely around and we are learning so much from them about being alive and fully engaged with life."

—Pam Laricchia at Unschooling Grows Far Beyond “Not School"

SandraDodd.com/spirituality
photo by Colleen Prieto

What unschooling is about

Rippy Dusseldorp wrote:

Unschooling is about children learning naturally and parents being partners in their children’s learning. Parents create and maintain a rich and interesting environment where children can follow their interests and passions. Children have lots of choices and options available to them. Parents facilitate, help, encourage, inspire, guide, support and love. Children learn, laugh, play, discover, explore, puzzle, build, invent, create, ponder, go on adventures and learn some more.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/rippy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Vibrant, healthy and active

I can see how vibrant, healthy, and active both of them are. They love to go outside, run with their friends, ride bikes, dig in the dirt, go swimming, catch fireflies, climb trees, and tons of other things. And they also love watching TV and playing computer games. I can look at them directly, without any fear, and see that they are whole and that our relationship is remaining intact because I respect the things they love and support choices they make."

—Susan May

Either/Or Thinking and "Screen Time"
photo by Sarah Dickinson

The children described aren't the same as those pictured,
but they're all unschoolers.
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It's a shift

"Being an unschooling parent means finding something you *can* like in what your kids do. It means finding a way to support them, lovingly. It's a shift away from 'eww' to 'ahh!'" —Robin Bentley

SandraDodd.com/obsessions/feedpassions
photo by Sandra Dodd