Exploring

Joyce wrote:

"Our role is to walk by their sides as they explore, not let them explore on their own. At times we need to hang back and be quiet so they can have the time and freedom to explore something that fascinates them. At times we need to share their enjoyment and be with them (even if it's the umpty gajillionth rerun of Spongebob Squarepants ;-) At times we need to point things out. At times we need to share the things we love. At times we need to take them to places they wouldn't know to explore."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/products
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Willingness to share

Rosie Moon's photo; Alex Arnott's words:

As I've sunk deeper into this awareness of what's actually there (replacing a mindset of abundance with my former belief about what was lacking), my kids "melt into me" more...what I mean is there is less edginess, less defensiveness, and more willingness to share their life with me. More willingness to join me in what I'm doing.

I'm sure that my acceptance has something to do with the peace that we are experiencing.

—Alex Arnott

Quote (slightly tweaked here) from Perspective
photo by Rosie Moon

Thoughts

It's okay not to share everything you think.

Children's thoughts are their own, but if you're interesting and interested, they might share their thoughts with you.

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Jennie Gomes

Time Out

Time out, please. I have tried to keep up here as though everything is normal, but I've missed a couple of days, and had more re-runs than usual. Tonight I'm too tired, but will share two things. #1 is this photo of me and baby Kirby Athena, taken by her dad yesterday; and #2, that her only grandpa, who is also my husband, has been in intensive care for two weeks. Today he's better than he has been, but it has not been steady improvement over the two weeks.

I might miss a few more posts in the coming days, or share more of the "greatest hits" or special forgotten posts from the past eight-and-a-half years.

Be happy with your families, please! Be grateful for all good things.

photo by Kirby Dodd, the Elder

Shuffle it up

What unschoolers do to help other unschoolers is to share how they came to unschooling, and the effect it has had on their children and their home lives.

It helps for new unschoolers to read some, then try some, maybe meet some people if they can, read more, try more, maybe listen to something or watch something, try more, and shuffle it up that way. . . . .
Those new to unschooling need most or all of the same things others needed when they were new: local information, access to laws and policies, reassurance, suggestions for deschooling, answers to questions (although the answers are ever more easily available as people collect up the best answers of the past). They need inspiration and ideas.

If you're new: read, change a little; read more, change more; repeat.


From page 19 or 20 of The Big Book of Unschooling, which links to the help page: SandraDodd.com/help

photo by Dan Vilter

Stuff

Old things, odd things, useful or interesting things...

Textures, shapes, colors, perspective.


Even if you don't share them with your children, the more you can see and appreciate them, the more understanding you will probably be of what they do notice and comment on. Seeing beyond "right answers," and seeing past what SHOULD be important will open up the world.

SandraDodd.com/angles
photo by Sandra Dodd

Growing things

Think of growing—of food, of knowledge, of trees, of children. Life is ever-changing. Provide water and support if you can. Share your shade and a resting place.

Growth
photo by Holly Dodd

Private ideas

I love museums. Museums of any sort are special to me, and sometimes I'm thinking about the building or whose idea it was or where the funding comes from to keep the lights and heat on, and to hire people to keep it all safe and clean.

What others are thinking in a museum, even if they're with me, could never be exactly the same. An object will, without fail, remind me of a personal experience, or of when or where I first learned of such things. If it's SO NEW to me that I'm surprised, I tend to think of which friend of mine, alive or dead, I would most like to share it with, or to ask about it. Sometimes that's my dad, especially if the object is an old truck, or a metal structure.

Sometimes I've been the person one of my kids shared something with. That's sweet, and I get to know a bit about what they're connecting to and with.

Long ago, I came to see the whole world as a museum. I love that, too.

SandraDodd.com/museum
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

If you give a sheep a cookie...

This photo is from another year.

I'm glad the sheep had a cookie.                    It's glorious that his mom got a photo of it.                             I'm grateful that she let me share it here with all of you.                                              🎵And glory shone around.🎵

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photo by Christa McCowan

Diverge!

I had a professor, years ago, tell me that one mark of intelligence was the use of tools other than the way they were intended to be used. I thought that definition would show up in other places in my life, but it hasn't. So here I share it with all of you. Try not to say "That's not what that's for" too quickly—your child might be about to do something quite intelligent. "If you want to be creative, stay in part a child, with the creativity and invention that characterizes children before they are deformed by adult society." —Piaget, quoted by Deb Lewis in "Unguided Discovery"

SandraDodd.com/deblewis/discovery
photo by Andrea Taylor

Playing with connections

I found something to share, but it seemed too long. While looking for a place to put it, I came upon a link to posts in this blog that are about play and playing.

These two images came up one after the other. They were posted seven years apart, but they're similar, and the posts they link to were called "Playing around" and "Play around." They're links here, and the quote follows.


Someone wrote in 2011:

I do worry about my boys playing computer all day.

I responded:

I have three kids who have played hundreds of games among and between them--Holly learned two new card games just this month that nobody else in the family knows, even her dad who has been a big games guy all his life. There is no game called "computer." I think you mean playing ON the computer. HUGE difference.

We have dozens of nice board games here, and table games (games involving cards or other pieces, to be laid out on a table as play proceeds), but those aren't referred to as kids playing board, or kids playing table.

The computer is not itself the game. There are games on the computer. There is information on the computer. It's not really a net. It's not really a web. It's millions of ideas, words, jokes, pictures, games, a ton of music and videos and.... But you know that, right?

Clarity can begin with being careful with the words you use. Thinking about what you write will help you think about what you think!

(The quote is from halfway down here.)
photos by Sandra Dodd and Karen James

Sharing contentment

The damage done by negativity is a knowable thing. If the mother can't find contentment, she has none to share with her children.

Sharing Negativity (how and why not to)
photo by Jo Isaac
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Between "more" and "too much"

If your kids ask for another one (potato, cookie, peanut butter sandwich) I think it's helpful if you just say "Sure!" and make another one, even if you don't think they'll finish it, even if you think they'll be too full or whatever. As long as they're not eating someone else's share (and even so, if the other person agrees), it's not a big deal. If they don't finish, save the leftover for someone else. If they do finish and they're "too full" that's how they'll learn their capacity (which will change anyway as they get older).



SandraDodd.com/eating/control
photo by Sandra Dodd

Exploring locally

Deb Lewis wrote:

I have found so many interesting things to do around our little town just by talking with people and asking questions. I ask everyone questions about what they like to do, etc. I have met so many people with interesting hobbies who have been happy to share what they know with my son and show him their collections.

The man who runs the local green house lets us help transplant seedlings. He grows worms too, and lets Dylan dig around in the worm beds.

The guy who works at the newspaper speaks Chinese and draws cartoons. He's given Dylan lots of pointers about where to get good paper and story boards, etc.

The old guy at the antique shop was a college professor and is a huge Montana History buff, whenever Dylan has questions, we go browse the antiques.

The lady at the flower shop keeps birds and lets Dylan hold them when we visit.

—Deb Lewis

some local particulars from Deb Lewis's "List of Things to do in the Winter"—a long list of things a parent and child could do if it's cold or they want to explore SandraDodd.com/strew/deblist
photo by Diane Marcengill

What the...

"People learn by playing, thinking and amazing themselves. They learn while they're laughing at something surprising, and they learn while they're wondering 'What the heck is this?'"—Sandra Dodd

SandraDodd.com/unschooling

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Note: The quote lives at that address, but (awkwardly) it also shows up in the random quote in the upper corner, with my name after it (as above).

A sweet message arrived yesterday:

Hi Sandra,

I just wanted to share this funny story. My son Angel (9) was reading to me the daily quote from the top right corner of your website, he read it out loud as this:

People learn by playing, thinking and amazing themselves. They learn while they're laughing at something surprising, and they learn while they're wondering "What the heck is this Sandra Dodd?"

We both laughed heaps!

Tan Hibbert

photo by Sandra Dodd's computer (you can click it bigger)

Secondary benefits

Look at all this impermanence—pixels showing a digital photo of the shadows of paper banners. Nothing very solid. Nothing that will last a century. But when you share an observation with a child, or with a friend, it is possible that you will be offering a missing piece, an inspiring opening, a near-magical life-changing clue.


What seems small to one person might be life changing to another.

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The text above was written for the image, but here's an example:
SandraDodd.com/mylittlepony
photo by Sandra Dodd

Enough to learn

[Some people say] "I used to control this (or that) and now that I don't, and I told them they can do whatever they want to..."

Too big a jump.

If your kids ask for another one (potato, cookie, peanut butter sandwich) I think it's helpful if you just say "Sure!" and make another one, even if you don't think they'll finish it, even if you think they'll be too full or whatever. As long as they're not eating someone else's share (and even so, if the other person agrees), it's not a big deal. If they don't finish, save the leftover for someone else. If they do finish and they're "too full" that's how they'll learn their capacity (which will change anyway as they get older).

SandraDodd.com/eating/control
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sometimes thinking is shared

Though thinking is usually private and quiet, sometimes it shows easily. Games and projects often involve discussions of strategies, or analysis of error or success. Working on projects together puts the supplies and the thoughts all out on the table.

If a child wants to share his thoughts with you, take it as a compliment. Be honored.

Honor him by listening to him as a full human sharing real ideas.

Those are the moments faith and trust are made of. Be a person he'll come back to next time, next year, when he's grown.

SandraDodd.com/respect
photo by Ester Siroky
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A happier place

In helping to maintain the nest you have created for your children to grow up in, think of its components. Physical house, kitchen, food, beds, bedding, space to be alone, space to be together—but it's not empty space. It is a space you have chosen to share, and it is a space arranged around you. Have a hopeful, open presence. Be a happier place.


Becoming a Better Partner
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a long-ago Kirby
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Sharing energy

If the parents aren't powering all decisions anymore, should the children take up the task of generating enough power to fuel their own learning? I wouldn't expect my kids to do that any more than I would stop feeding them and expect them to become hunter-gatherers in the back yard if they wanted to survive.

Energy is shared, and that's how unschooling works. Whether I'm excited about something new, or my children are excited about something new, there's still newness and excitement enough to share.

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Sandra Dodd
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