Showing posts sorted by relevance for query roya. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query roya. Sort by date Show all posts

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Confident, happy and glad

When my oldest was 18, I was recounting some current doings, and concluded:
He's confident in his skin, in his mind, and in his being.
He's not afraid of his parents.
He goes to sleep happy and he wakes up glad.

My priorities could have been different.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Being gentle

What do babies want? They want to learn. They learn by touching and tasting and watching and listening. They learn to be gentle by people being gentle with them...

photo by Roya Dedeaux

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Important little things

"Listen and watch when they want to show you something. It might seem like a little thing to watch what your child wants to show you, but it’s important to them and it matters to them! The little things are the big things!"
—Laurie Wolfrum

Trust can grow
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Friday, November 22, 2019

Supporting the soloist

What is your relationship with your child? The boss? The friend? VARIES depending on project—sometimes I'm the coach or the lead. Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes I'm a stagehand. Sometimes I'm the soloist. Sometimes my child is the soloist.

What happens with partners is that when one is the soloist, the others still sing backup, or sit in the audience supportively, and meet them at the stage door, figuratively or literally.

Some thoughts about partnerships
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Invisible and personal

We cannot see what our children are learning, and to some extent it's none of our business.

Hobbies and interests lead to learning
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Saturday, September 30, 2023

In a drop of water

Universe-in-a-Drop-of-Water Method:

Can one intense interest come to represent or lead to all others? A mom once complained that her son was interested in nothing but World War II. There are college professors and historians who are interested in nothing but World War II. It can become a life’s work. But even a passing interest can touch just about everything—geography, politics, the history and current events of Europe and parts of the Pacific, social history of the 20th century in the United States, military technology, tactics, recruitment and propaganda, poster art/production/distribution, advances in communications, transport of troops and food and supplies, espionage, prejudices, interment camps, segregation, patriotism, music, uniforms, insignia, religion....

from "Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers"
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Saturday, September 9, 2023

Accepting support

Paula wrote:

I WANTED to be a thoughtful, respectful parent.
I wanted to say yes as much as possible, and respect and enjoy my children for who they are, not who I thought they should be.
—Paula F.

There is more of how Paula got to that resolution, at "Support" can be a problem.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Consider them to be whole

Consider them to be whole,
no matter how old they are.
photo by Roya Sorooshian
(The photo that was here got lost, so I've replaced it
with another of Wyatt, and his Mom!)

Sunday, November 12, 2023

Passing a passion on

When we stop looking at our kids and what they do through schooly glasses, we're no longer concerned about how long they've been interested in something, or how much time they've spent doing something but rather we're in there with them, their passion leaking onto us and giving us a bit of that passion too. It just becomes life and living, not some thing they're doing because it's good for them or because they'll need it when they're an adult or whatever other reason school says kids should do things.
—Kim H.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Safe and happy success

Eva Witsel wrote:

I can spend my energy on limiting my child's world so that he will be safe and happy or I can spend my energy on helping my child learn the skills to navigate our world himself so that he will be safe and happy. I think the latter has a better chance of success in the long term.
—Eva Witsel
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Saturday, July 29, 2023

When choices come easily

The idea of "self discipline" isn't as helpful to understanding unschooling as the idea of making mindful choices is. It's similar to the difference between teaching and learning.

If you think of controlling yourself, and of your children controlling themselves, it's still about control. If people live by principles their choices come easily.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Patient, attentive, calm and accepting

"None of us are perfect; we'll all have some regrets. But with my kids 19, 16, and 13, I can now say that I will never say anything like, 'I wish I'd let them fight it out more,' or 'I wish I'd punished them more,' or 'I wish I'd yelled at them more.' I will only ever say that I wish I'd been more patient, more attentive, more calm and accepting of the normal stresses of having young children."
—Pam Sorooshian
whose children are now 29, 26 and 23,
and who became a grandmother day before yesterday
I'm guessing Roya or Cyrus might have taken that photo; I don't know.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

All these connections

Farming, vocabulary, art, colors, geography, botany, shapes, textures, joy, comfort, gifts, humor, lunch.

Most things are many things.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Saturday, March 2, 2019

A kind of good

It is possible that one can go out and be a kind of good that is transmitted to others, or which induces goodness in those others around them.

Enthusiasm, kindness, helpfulness, generosity of spirit, attention to others' moods—being that kind of good can make the difference between just-a-day and a really good day. If three or five people are all in that mindset it can make everyone's day better, because it spreads.

Sweetness and goodness
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Monday, November 7, 2022

Happier and wiser

If you start looking at choices instead of "have to's" you will be happier IMMEDIATELY. And wiser.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Sunday, December 30, 2018


Though it cannot be guaranteed, one unexpected benefit of unschooling and of parenting peacefully seems to be that children get along better with siblings.
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Be prepared for more or less

Go gradually. Read some, do some, read some more, do some more; repeat.

If you find yourself tempted to present a lesson, or to teach, feel that feeling and refrain from it. If your child asks a question, just answer the question. Answer it in an interesting way if you can. Look it up if you need to. Don't turn it into "a lesson."

If a child asks a question he might ask another one. Be prepared for one question to turn into fifteen of them. Be prepared for it not to.

from "Beginning to Unschool," page 36 or 39 of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Tuesday, August 6, 2019


"It costs nothing to voice appreciation, and yet is so incredibly valuable!"
—Amber Ivey
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Friday, February 25, 2022

Depth and breadth

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Unschoolers should be offering interesting experiences, ideas, stimulation, music, logic, conversation, images, movement, discovery, beauty, etc. Brain food in abundance. It requires effort. It requires attention to qualitative and quantitative aspects of learning. Depth and breadth—creating a lifestyle in which kids are offered the opportunity to learn a lot about some things and a little about a lot of things.
—Pam Sorooshian

at Always Learning; quote revived by Marta Venturini
photo by Roya Dedeaux