Loving, gentle and sweet

Of the Always Learning discussion,Rippy D. wrote:

For me, this list is like being in a graduate class at university about unschooling. A rapid flow of ideas, critical examination of those ideas and the encouragement to really think your thoughts through. Fortunately, it is a free university run by expert volunteers that make sure the discussion stays firmly on the philosophy of unschooling, attentive parenting and what will help unschooling and what will hinder it. I learn every day how to have a better partnership with my children and spouse, how to connect, inspire, trust and help. And now that I have learned how to read without my emotions interpreting the emails for me, the message is consistently the same — be loving, gentle and sweet with your children, *be* with your children, live joyfully.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Learning to read on the list, by Rippy Dusseldorp
photo by Roya Dedeaux
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What unschooling is about

Rippy Dusseldorp wrote:

Unschooling is about children learning naturally and parents being partners in their children’s learning. Parents create and maintain a rich and interesting environment where children can follow their interests and passions. Children have lots of choices and options available to them. Parents facilitate, help, encourage, inspire, guide, support and love. Children learn, laugh, play, discover, explore, puzzle, build, invent, create, ponder, go on adventures and learn some more.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/rippy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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I can hear the bells

Rippy Dusseldorp wrote:

"I don't really look to other mothers for validation on how I'm doing as a parent. I look to my children and my husband. If they are generally happy, relaxed, comfortable and engaged, I feel pretty good about how I'm doing....

"If I see signs of frustration or stress or uneasiness in my family, there are alarm bells going off inside me telling me I need to be kinder, pay extra close attention, have more ideas, and offer more options."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/stress
photo by Julie D

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"I can Hear the Bells" is the name of a song from the musical Hairspray. Rippy was talking about alarm bells; that song references an electric school bell (in the movie version, anyway). They seemed to match a bit.

*Be* with your children

Rippy wrote:

I learn every day how to have a better partnership with my children and spouse, how to connect, inspire, trust and help. And now that I have learned how to read without my emotions interpreting the emails for me, the message is consistently the same - be loving, gentle and sweet with your children, *be* with your children, live joyfully.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Learning to read [about Unschooling]
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Thoughts, words, actions...

"I was frequently reminded that 'thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become your character and your character becomes your destiny'. My dad was gifted at helping me be more thoughtful with my words and actions, and make better choices. He was the kindest person I knew."

—Rippy Dusseldorp Saran

SandraDodd.com/alwayslearning/benefit
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp Saran
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Helping one another grow

Of her birth family, Rippy wrote:

My family used to regularly travel to India to a Sikh ashram where we were encouraged to examine our thoughts and words. The philosophy there was that helping one another grow into more loving, mindful people is one of the greatest acts of service one can do.

—Rippy Dusseldorp Saran

Kinder and More Compassionate

To be nourished...

Rippy Dusseldorp described her intentions:

To be nourished from beautiful and interesting ideas, people, places and things.
       To learn from everywhere.
              To take time to reflect.
                     To be daring.
                             To have adventures.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Benefits beyond just "be a better parent"
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Where to look

Rippy Dusseldorp wrote:

I don't really look to other mothers for validation on how I'm doing as a parent. I look to my children and my husband. If they are generally happy, relaxed, comfortable and engaged, I feel pretty good about how I'm doing....

If I see signs of frustration or stress or uneasiness in my family, there are alarm bells going off inside me telling me I need to be kinder, pay extra close attention, have more ideas, and offer more options."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

In a discussion on the Always Learning discussion group
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Describing unschooling

Rippy wrote:

If parents of school children ask, I usually say our homeschooling is pretty eclectic. I may give certain examples such as visiting interesting places, doing experiments, playing 'learning' games, reading stories, having conversations of events that happened in the past, talking about famous people, making things, hanging out with friends, etc. Sometimes I share with them a detailed description of an interesting day that we've had, especially if it has impressive signs of learning that they will recognize.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/response
photo by Kelvin Dodd

Advantage

"Having parents who nurture optimism, hopefulness, and contentment gives children an extraordinary advantage in life."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Rippy's quote in context
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Connect, inspire, trust and help

"I learn every day how to have a better partnership with my children and spouse, how to connect, inspire, trust and help. And now that I have learned how to read without my emotions interpreting the emails for me, the message is consistently the same—be loving, gentle and sweet with your children, *be* with your children, live joyfully." —Rippy Dusseldorp referring to Always Learning

SandraDodd.com/feedback/rippy
photo by Sandra Dodd

Clearly and maturely

Rippy D. wrote:

[The Always Learning discussion] has helped me think more clearly and maturely. It has helped me change unhelpful patterns and most of all helped me step into the *JOY* of life, connection, partnership with my children and husband. I know how scary it is to feel examined, and I think some other readers interpret examination as meanness, like I once did. I think to do unschooling well, it is a fundamental element to have an examined life. To be mindful of our choices and understand our thought processes.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Healing Presence
photo by Ester Siroky
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Rest, recovery, and plenty of time

Rippy Dusseldorp, for still-new unschoolers:

For your family, the most important thing now is to deschool. Avoid anything schoolish, unless your children really want to use those types of resources. This is their rest and recovery time from their years of schooling. It's important not to rush them and to give yourself plenty of time to deschool as well.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

slightly edited from SandraDodd.com/response
photo by Colleen Prieto

An examined life

"I think to do unschooling well, it is a fundamental element to have an examined life. To be mindful of our choices and understand our thought processes."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/feedback/rippy
photo by Sarah Dickinson
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England

I missed a day. Sunday was Joyce Fetteroll's birthday. She and Rippy Dusseldorp and I were in Delft to shop, and then went to Rotterdam to visit friends, and then back to Rippy's where I was very sleepy. Sitting in the Amsterdam airport following a flight cancellation, I realized I missed one, and won't be in a good place to look for quotes tonight, and so this will be my little offering to cover Monday and Tuesday, July 8-9, 2013.


I love England. Not sure why. Some people love some things without knowing why. This summer I will enter the UK three times (if we make it there okay tonight)—from the U.S., then from Portugal and now from The Netherlands. Into England five times, if I include crossing back in from Wales and from Scotland.

And so I am content. I have been to England enough.
I am grateful that my children are grown and there are people other than just their parents who love them and who are glad to see them and to know them.
Learn Nothing Day will arrive before long, and it will be a long day for me, 31 hours, because I'll be going home from England, on my birthday, to be met by my husband who loves me.

I like this blog and I'm sorry I missed a day.
I like my life, and I'm glad to have people to share various aspects of it with me.

SandraDodd.com/bio
photo by Sandra Dodd, of bunting—hand embroidered crowns, and appliqued Union Jacks, on triangular dags, put out for the Diamond Jubilee, but originally made for Queen Elizabeth's coronation

Generosity

As my kids get older...I'm seeing more vividly the results of parenting choices, not just in them, but in their more conventionally parented peers, as well. Generosity begets generosity.

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/generosity
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Private ideas

I love museums. Museums of any sort are special to me, and sometimes I'm thinking about the building or whose idea it was or where the funding comes from to keep the lights and heat on, and to hire people to keep it all safe and clean.

What others are thinking in a museum, even if they're with me, could never be exactly the same. An object will, without fail, remind me of a personal experience, or of when or where I first learned of such things. If it's SO NEW to me that I'm surprised, I tend to think of which friend of mine, alive or dead, I would most like to share it with, or to ask about it. Sometimes that's my dad, especially if the object is an old truck, or a metal structure.

Sometimes I've been the person one of my kids shared something with. That's sweet, and I get to know a bit about what they're connecting to and with.

Long ago, I came to see the whole world as a museum. I love that, too.

SandraDodd.com/museum
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Acts of caring

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

There are times in life that you won't feel like you can take care of others around you as well as you'd like. You need nurturing yourself and other people's neediness starts to be draining on you.

I've felt that, too.

But I've also found that if I focus more on "seeing" my kids with loving-eyes focus, consciously choose to pay attention to what I love about them, then I actually begin to feel more nourished and strengthened by them, and by the very acts of caring for them.

—Pam Sorooshian
(original)

Beauty
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Richly and joyfully

Unschoolers don't "just live." They live large. They live expansively, and richly and joyfully. Those are the things that make it work.

SandraDodd.com/quotes
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Museum tea

Have you ever been "museum sick"? Sometimes a museum is so large and overwhelming that my thought is "Do they have a good cafeteria? A cafe?"

This teabag was at the Escher Museum, in The Hague, when Joyce and I went to speak in 2013, and Rippy took us touristing


Photos are good for memories and ideas.

I miss museums, and I miss being able to travel and meet up with unschoolers.

I hope everyone who reads this will still, someday, get a chance to see so much museum that all you can think about is sitting down with some tea or food.

Museum Sickness
photo by Sandra Dodd