Flowing smoothly

Liquids flow, life flows, ideas flow, learning flows. Sometimes things don't flow smoothly, or don't flow freely, or flow where we don't want them to flow, or freeze up altogether. Parents can accept, acknowledge and appreciate flow, or they can block, knock and wreck it.

SandraDodd.com/flow
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Life flows

Liquids flow, life flows, ideas flow, learning flows. Sometimes things don't flow smoothly, or don't flow freely, or flow where we don't want them to flow, or freeze up altogether. Parents can accept, acknowledge and appreciate flow, or they can block, knock and wreck it.

SandraDodd.com/flow
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Flowing smoothly

Liquids flow, life flows, ideas flow, learning flows. Sometimes things don't flow smoothly, or don't flow freely, or flow where we don't want them to flow, or freeze up altogether. Parents can accept, acknowledge and appreciate flow, or they can block, knock and wreck it.

SandraDodd.com/flow
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Clarity in motion

Flow is learning to go fast in a calm way. Flow is clarity while in motion. The opposite of flow might be "stuckness"—being immobilized while thoughts and fears swoop and swirl inside you.

Flow is a state of being that unschoolers can reach, in which they are no longer laboring to make conscious decisions about how to encourage learning and to maintain peace and joy. It might only last a few moments at a time, but it will be enough.

page 206 (or 239) of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
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In full flow

Waterfalls are made of streams of water, made of drops, of molecules, that were up in clouds a week, a day, or a minute ago.

Confident parenting, in full flow, is made of courage born of successes of big choices and small decisions that were once tentative, and before that you hadn't even considered them.

Enough improvement and ease can cause good options to tumble and flow all around you.

Considering Decisions
photo by Rosie Moon

Easy flow

Jenny Cyphers, on overcoming fears:

If a parent has too many hangups, too many fears, too many issues, that they don't take out and examine, it will destroy what unschooling could be. People can get really wrapped up in fears and "what if's". Sometimes it consumes a person, a parent, a family. Happy, peaceful, unschooling can't flourish in those conditions. Fear creates blocks. Learning needs easy flow. Easy flow can happen naturally unless a person blocks it.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/fears
photo by Chrissy Florence, the day they saw a mom and baby whale
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The farther it will flow

"If learning were a river, a question might be a tributary. Answering the question will add to the river. The more tributaries, the larger the river, and the farther it will flow. As long as the questions come, we answer them, and the learning continues to flow."

—Nina, of "Amor y Risa"

SandraDodd.com/connections/example
photo by Remy C BW

Joy and flow

"Where joy is, you will find learning. Where joy is, you will find flow."

—Clare Kirkpatrick

Parent paragraph of that above—all Clare's words:

"I see lots of reasons for NOT limiting my kids' time on the computer or game playing or watching tv or knitting or reading or playing with barbies or playdough or baking or anything. Those reasons are that where joy is, you will find learning. Where joy is, you will find flow. These are all things we want to *help* our children do *if* that is what they want because we want them to learn. I could, if I wanted to, name many, many things that my children would *not* be doing if I had limited their time doing the things they love, including being on the computer and gaming."

—Clare Kirkpatrick
(original)

Generate Joy
photo by Kinsey Norris
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The nature of things

Things do what they can do. Some things we affect, and others we can't.

Rivers are flowing whether people are looking or not.

Children play, and ask questions, and examine new things, and ideas.

Children will learn whether people are looking or not, but for unschooling to work well, parents should be involved in providing an environment of safe, soft, interesting materials and experiences. They should be new and different sometimes and comfortingly familiar sometimes. Not the same all the time.

When relationships are comfortable and adults are attentive, learning will flow even when you're not looking.

In Full Flow
photo by Karen James

Transcendental moments

Remember that your children will also experience flow.

If you interrupt them while they're playing Rock Band or drawing or spinning on a tire swing, you might be disturbing a profound experience. So interrupt gently, when you must. Treat them with the respect you would treat anyone who might be in the midst of a transcendental moment.

page 207 (or 240) of The Big Book of Unschooling, on Flow
photo by Sarah Dickinson
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Wonder and flow

Without wonder—a combination of curiosity and acceptance of the unknown as a potential friend—natural learning won't flow.


SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd

A flow that builds and grows

Once you start looking for connections and welcoming them, it creates a kind of flow that builds and grows.

SandraDodd.com/connections/example
photo by Sandra Dodd, of the Rio Chama near Abiquiu

The flow of history

What is new now might be an antique before your children are grown. Try to ride the gentle flow of time and progress.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Amber Ivey

The open flow of real-world sharing

from 2004, Sandra Dodd:

The best thing unschoolers can do is to unschool well. The best thing those who are interested in helping others come along the same path can do is explain what helped it work well.

Reading other families' personal stories, hearing about paths that didn't work well and others that did is what helped me when I was new to this, and that's what I've been involved in helping happen ever since—real unschoolers sharing their real experiences.

Some people don't want to share in public and that's fine. Some people share things in public that turn out not to be true, and that's not cool. But over the years, many hundreds of unschoolers who first found one another through AOL's message boards, or at conferences, or through e-mail correspondence have met other unschoolers in person, and each person must ultimately gauge for herself who to emulate or trust or to go to for inspiration or whatever. There is no central board certifying unschoolers or conference organizers or listowners. It's the open flow of real-world sharing.

In 2024 I'm still offering a hand.
SandraDodd.com/help
photo by Linda Wyatt

Things change

Being a child's partner rather than his adversary makes the balance of knowledge unimportant. Nowadays my children drive me around, help me out, read small print and get things off high shelves. For many years, I did those things for them.

SandraDodd.com/partners

SandraDodd.com/balance

Learning first, and partnership and being present close after, and all the other things flow in around it.


Part of a longer response to an odd question: The other things flow in around it.
See also "Snapshot" on this blog
photo by Karen James
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A certain flow or rhythm

Aiden Kathleen Wagner wrote:

"I think as you listen and try to partner with your child, you will find a certain flow or rhythm....

"I think what most children crave far more than routine is to be able to feel that their physical and emotional needs are going to be met in a timely and appropriate manner. Where there is not communication and awareness, they may cling to routine as the only way of making sure those needs are met, but when you are trying to listen and understand and be a partner, routines have the possibility of becoming a roadblock to a better relationship."

—Aiden Kathleen Wagner

From a discussion on Radical Unschooling Info in March, 2013
photo by Julie D
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Improving the flow

One of the nicest thing I do for my husband is to withhold criticism. I could (and used to, when we were younger) say too much, comment too much. Letting things go by lets peace and love flow in.

P.S. It works with children, too.

SandraDodd.com/betterpartner
or the same article in German: Bessere Partner werden
(though the quote is from a discussion)
photo by Sandra Dodd (it's a link)
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Flow

Robin Bentley wrote:

If you can only see the obstacles, then your journey won't be easy. Be like the water, finding its way around the rocks. See the openings, the possibilities. —Robin Bentley

from a facebook discussion, but SandraDodd.com/flow follows from it, too
photo by Colleen Prieto

Learning will flow

The more curiosity and exploration and creation you have at your house, the more effortlessly learning will flow.

And THIS makes it easier to unschool
photo by Sandra Dodd, of art by Keith Dodd, against a New Mexico sky (front brace of a Viking a-frame tent)

Thoughts can flow

The clearer your mind is of trauma and fear, the more easily your thoughts can flow, and connections can be made.

Don't think of your brain. Think of your mind and of your awareness. A little tiny brain can hold a LOT of information. A big fat one can fail to do so. It's not size, it's peace and use.

SandraDodd.com/awareness
photo by Sandra Dodd
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